Not Having A Best Friend.

@hvedra (1623)
November 16, 2011 3:09am CST
This came up on a blog I read about how some people really put themselves out for friendship only to find that the other person doesn't make an effort. About how difficult it is to find and keep a best friend or group of really good friends. The post got a lot of replies about how most people don't have a best friend, are married to their best friend (like me) and find it difficult to make or maintain the kind of friendships that the media portrays as essential. I've never had a best friend other than my husband. I've had people I'm friends with but not to the extent where they become very close or I know I can rely on them in a crisis. I've had people who know they can rely on me in a crisis but if I ever had one they become conspicuous by their absence! Do a lot of people have BFF or do we just have friends?
4 people like this
13 responses
• Mexico
22 Nov 11
Hi hvedra: I think it's nice that you say that your husband is also your best friend. That's cool because that means that your relationship is strong but it can be a problem when you for example need someone apart from your husband to share things. I have a few friends but I feel lucky after having a very loyal friend for years which is my best friend even if we don't see each other everyday, we keep in contact. ALVARO
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119362)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Nov 11
I like to hear of the ones being married to their best friends. That is great. Too many just marry for the chemical reaction they get and not a true friendship which will last alot longer. True friends take a history and time to cultivate. Good friends are rare in this world of fast paced self involved people.
• United States
17 Nov 11
Well, I have a best friend even though she isn't human. She's my cat, Goldie. She listens to everything I have to say and she never talks back or judges me.
1 person likes this
@airasheila (5458)
• Philippines
17 Nov 11
good day hvedra, having a lot friends is fine. having a lot of people who loves you is really an awesome feeling. and if you will feel hungry, you will have a lot of people who can offer their hand to feed you. but, it is not as healthy as having a bestfriend. wherein, you can tell your deepest secrets. wherein, you can be as comfortable as who you are. wherein, you can expose yourself as what you are. hence, sometimes, we cannot do what we want in-front of many, but, if we are just with our bestfriend, we can do things without any hesitation at all. and, perhaps, almost all people chooses to have one bestfriend to be with them. either this is their husband or wife or maybe a same gender they choose to be their companion. after all, no man is an island. everybody needs someone to talk to.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I am very happy to reply with a positive "YES" I do had 3 BFF. the first one is my 41 year old daughter,,,I love her so much and we talk everyday several times a day and then most of the time I see her when she gets off from work. Then there are 2 friends that I really feel like and have been able to count on in many situtations..When we need each other we really go all out to help one another,,,Because we are all givers non of us are takers..which make life great...Its an excellent and rewarding feeling knowing that you can depend on real friend..
1 person likes this
@Kev_cr (3)
• Argentina
16 Nov 11
Actually I have a best friend, almost 10 years of friendship right now... he's the one I can trust and have a great time or talk to when I need to... Anyway I have good friends too, those ones are there when I need them... think a best friend is unconditional, but on friends you can count too, if you can't, then they're not friends of you
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
16 Nov 11
in real life, i have a best friend, really2 best friend. we know all about us. it just because we share our life story to another.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
16 Nov 11
I, like you, married my best friend. Most best friends have moved away around here to find work and have a job. I think it's really hard to keep best friends with everyone moving. Also since you may be completing with your best friend for a job. Both things that put strains on friendships.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101890)
• United States
16 Nov 11
I have not had a best friend since elementary school. All my friends are good friends, and are accessible to me, and I to them, in their own ways. I would rank my friends as Hubby, daughter, son and brother as far as best friends.
1 person likes this
@champoy186 (1638)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
I have friends but none of them I consider as my best friend. It's hard to find a best friend. I am not really sure if my friends are true to me. It's hard to find a person whom you give all your trust.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
16 Nov 11
my grandmother used to tell me while growing up that you should consider yerself lucky if you could count the number of friends you had on one hand. this doesnt include acquaintences.. which alot of people confuse with "friends". im lucky. i have a handful. tried, true, well over 10 years with each of them solid. marriages, divorces, losses of children, loved ones, homes, jobs... "crisis". they havent waivered, nor have i. most folk just dont get the concept. they go out to lunch, or on a little shopping trip and instantaneously that person is their very best friend! my ex husband was like that. know a person for five seconds and in a blink theyre soul mates pffft. same as with a love affair.. friendship shouldnt be rushed headlong into. it takes time to develop and nurture, and more often than not, people are so very desperate to have a friend.. they push it. or theyre just too lazy to put the time and effort into other people and b|tch cause they have no one.
1 person likes this
@kaeirole (669)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
me too..i only have friends..no best friends yet..i'm considering my partner my best friend..but i'm afraid that what if we'll break up, if we can still maintain the friendship we have.. for me, it's really hard to find a best friend..not all friends can be our best friend..same as not all of them can be our true friend..
1 person likes this
• China
16 Nov 11
I did have several best girl friends,but I don't have a best boy friend. I always puzzle if I have problems in interpersonal.Obviously not,I don't think that it's unnormal for you have not best friend.It's just because the difference of interpersonal approach,which make you meet different people and have friends.In fact,have a life-long best friends is harder than expect.
1 person likes this