How long did it take to forget your first love?

United States
November 18, 2011 7:41pm CST
In my case I was just friends with my first love and it was 100 percent unrequited. I never assumed they had feelings for me but I couldn't help how deeply in love I fell for them. I was never intimate at all with them, we never even hugged. I didn't even know the feelings I had until I was suffering all those years after they were in my life trying to get over them. They were only in my life for a school year and it took me about 4 years to completely forget and get over them, the first 2 and a half years were the hardest and instead of thinking about them every second it went to a few times ever half hour lol.
1 person likes this
13 responses
• India
19 Nov 11
It took about 6 months to forget my first love. I didn't knew that she have so much of attitude inside her. She just threw me out of her life like an insect from water. It was all my mistake that I made her as my first and last love. Actually, she worked in beautician and wanted a guy who is rich and handsome(just like Tom Cruise). After few months she happily said that she found her new love and left me alone. By the way, I am happy now with my new love who is much more better than older one.
• United States
19 Nov 11
there are plenty of people who get in relationships with people that are much more in love with them then they are for the other person. they get to move on right away with their heart perfectly in tact and the other person has to suffer, and its all because somebody probably broke their heart so they don't want to get in a relationship with someone they have feelings for again. I'm confused about something you said, you said she was your first and last love, then you said you have a new love.
• India
19 Nov 11
Sorry, I did a mistake in typing...I mean: It was my mistake that I made her as my girl friend and thought of making her my first and last love. I just don't understand why she suddenly started talking vulgarly and said bye forever! Does maximum girls do this for money?
• United States
19 Nov 11
I think it really depends on the girl, I definitely can't say for sure what your girlfriend did. Some people just are in relationships for money and other's couldn't care less about it in terms of love. I hope you found somebody who will treat you right this time.
• United States
20 Nov 11
I still have thoughts about my first love because he was my first and he broke my heart. I will never forget him either. I look at my life now and wonder if he realizes he messed up big time. e and his wife don't even share the same bed. she is taking him for everything. he had to put his property in his sisters name.
• United States
20 Nov 11
that must be really tough to know that he's married and you still love him. hopefully as more time goes on you won't think of him as much as you are now. it's too bad he didn't feel the same about you because as you tell me it sounds like he's not happy at all in his marriage and already having problems.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 11
OH,I on't love him anymore. I just think of him sometimes. I wish could stop but I am happy and he is going through a divorce.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
Forgetting is a hard thing to do. Especially when the you shared happy times together. I think it is very hard to forget the one who occupied a very special place in your heart. But like any relationship, hard it may seem, life has to go on without them. I think the memory will always stay. Once in a while, it will remind you and make you smile.
• United States
20 Nov 11
I wish it was like that for me lol I know there's too many people they think of extreme pain when they think of their relationship, especially in my case when its unrequited love. The worst thing is that you can't turn it on and off, you just have to suffer through how ever long it takes.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
Yes I know it is easier said than done. But if you want to let the pain remain, it will always stay. We need to give another love a chance, perhaps not to soon but you just have to let go. Life is what we make it. If we opt to be a happier person then let us not dwell on the past that has long been gone. There is a time to weep but don't forget too that there also should be time to heal and a time to start anew.
@Momenly (30)
• Lebanon
19 Nov 11
Fortunately I have no "first love" yet. I'm determined on being single until I'm old enough to commit wisely. I see that the issue of "First, second, third love etc.." is too immature. True-loving couples shall never break if they were really honest from the beginning.
@Leocen (178)
• China
19 Nov 11
I agree with you in some cases , but i think it's hard to meet your true-love.have you counted the possibility?
• United States
19 Nov 11
I think it's really good that you want to be single until you find the right person. a lot of people date and sleep around just for the sake of it so their not lonely and so people stop asking questions on why they are not with anybody. I think in that aspect that you are completely right and mature to do that. however I respectfully completely disagree with you about couple's never breaking up if they were honest from the beginning. thats not true at all, people can have a great relationship, get married, have kids. and then fall out of love. even if they had all the love in the world for each other at one point, sometimes people grow apart, lose feelings, that sort of thing.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
19 Nov 11
I had a huge crush on a singer I saw on TV when I was a teenager, I think it was more than a crush because I could not forget him, every boyfriend I had knew how I felt about this singer and I never thought I would ever get to talk to him, I followed his career on TV and years later I went to some gigs, he started talking to me, this was the biggest thrill of my life, then he gave me his phone number and a years or so later he asked me to go to a gig with him, he introduced me to his world of music which I knew nothing about, I was with him in his world for 18months, he passed away in my arms, I now have a tribute webpage to the man who was the world to me.
• United States
19 Nov 11
wow that is an incredible story. was he a famous musician thats a household name? how did he die, thats horrible that that happened to you, I'm sorry. It sounds like it's a movie plot or something because it's such an amazing story. a lot of people I know would love to date an actor/singer they have a crush on they saw on TV lol. Even I myself would love that.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
19 Nov 11
he was well known here in my country in the 60's then went into country music, onr of my friends saidit would make a very sad movie...I don't want to put my webpage in adiscussion as I think it is against the rules but if you are interested I think my webpage is on my profile....
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I am not sure I am over my first love. I believe a person never forgets their first love! I have not seen my first love in years! If I saw him agian I probaly would get those feelings back! Getting over being in love is hard and it took me along time to get over the two times I was in love! Probaly to long! Anyway everyone is different and everyone has a different time line. Love stinks and to me,the worst feeling to get over!
• United States
19 Nov 11
that is completely true! for a long time I thought if I saw the person again I'd have feelings for them, now I'm not so sure because it's been about 6 years now. I'd probably have feelings more so them than anyone else lol cause their the only person I've ever been in love with and I don't fall easily like I did before because of all the pain I went through. what you say completely related to me and I put myself entirely in what you've said.
@ritzz07 (791)
• India
19 Nov 11
hi i dont think that one can forget his first love......one can entertain his/herself with girlfriend/boyfriend however can not forget the first love.........atleast i can not forget my first love...... thanks have a greatd day
• United States
19 Nov 11
I completely get what your saying. it could take a very long time. I think that eventually, no matter how many years it takes, you can get over your first love. I know it took me so much longer than most people and they were in my life for so much less than most people, plus completely unrequited. I think you'll find in a few more years, who knows maybe even more, that you'll be able to forget that person and find someone else you truly love. I'm not saying you'll completely forget your relationship and the good times and the pain with them, but it will be more of a distant memory and it wont have a hold on you like it does now.
• United States
19 Nov 11
I've never forgotten my first love and I don't think I will ever forget her because I got her added as a Facebook friend! We don't talk anymore, and I haven't seen her for a while so there's probably no chance of any communication with her anymore but it feels cool knowing that I will always remember her and our relationship!
• United States
19 Nov 11
I have basically stalked the person I loved on Facebook lol. Well I mean I just check up regularly to see what they post and what their up to. I can't help but thinking about them every now and then, thankfully I'm not forced to think about them every moment of every day anymore but I find myself checking less and less which is good. If your friends with her on Facebook then it's very easy to communicate with her again, that probably makes you feel good to know you can always message her.
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I don't think I can forget my first love because up until now he is still the one that I love. How I wish we can end up together but that is very impossible. There are things that are never meant to be and I know that we being together is one of those things. I just wish that if time comes that he marries someone, I can move on even if it will take decade.
• United States
19 Nov 11
I'm sorry your going through so much pain and I'm sure you will move on someday. Your right that some relationships just aren't meant to be and sometimes you have to go through the pain of a breakup. I would just tell you that you should take all the time you need to get over him. people told me to forget the person I loved already, but you can't control how long it takes you. I would say to not hold on to it when your truly ready to move on, but when you naturally can't stop thinking about them and are not at all over them, don't rush into any relationships or anything like that.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
i think what i assumed as first love during high school was not even love at all. i am blessed to have my husband as my first love.
• United States
19 Nov 11
thats really great that things turned out so well. a lot of people have similar situations to you during grade school where they think they are in love but they realize later on that their not. but usually they question it and ask whats being in love feel like but if you have to ask or wonder if it's love then it definitely is not.
@julianmac (397)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 11
Hi Lucy, It took me about a year to finally bring myself back to normal. But until now, I can't get her off my mind completely. It's not like I'm thinking of her every minute and second, it's just that thoughts of her still lingers at one corner of my mind. We had to go our separate ways due to some unavoidable family matters. She's married and have her own family now while I still keep a picture of her in my diary. I know she's not going to be mine no matter what. I just can't let go of her memory.Maybe it's about time.
• United States
19 Nov 11
that must be hard knowing that she's moved on to that much of a level to being married to someone else. I understand and you can't control feelings and you can want to move on all you want but you just can't control how long it's going to take you. If you feel it's time to meet someone then I say go ahead, but if you just hope you could get over her and move on but your still thinking of her, I'd say take more time. As long as you need, you can always just go out and meet friends to have people to pass the time with. I was told my my dad I was "obsessed" and at one point I was ashamed of how long it took me to forget them. Now I'm not as ashamed and I realize I have no control in the matter.
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
19 Nov 11
It tooks for me a lot of years to forget my first boyfriend and husband and father of my son, but thanks God, I could forget him, now finally I got married after 11 years and I am so in love and happy with my husband with the best husband of the world.I met some men after him but I wasn't able to stablish with none of them until I met my husband who make me feel love again.
• United States
19 Nov 11
thats really great! I'm glad to hear it :) I think too many people rush into a relationship or just fool around with people soon after they get their heart broken. I think they need to heal alone by themselves and don't always need to go straight off with someone else. I'm glad that even though it took you a lot of years to forgot him that you moved on and are in a good place and happy with the person your with.
@hotsummer (10413)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
it took me about 17 years. ha ha. that is how hard for me to forget my first love.