Other people disciplining your children

November 19, 2011 4:20pm CST
I was at my parents house today with my 3 kids. My sister still lives there with her son and she is pregnant with her second child. She is very opinionated and pushy and this annoys me at the best of times, but she left me fuming today. My son and her son were playing and got overexcited. Her boyfriend put them both in time-out, which was fine as they were climbing all over the furniture, but when that was over, she called them both to her. She told them both if it happened again she would smack them. I don't smack unless I feel there has been a serious misdemeanour, such as one of my kids has done something which was dangerous to themselves or someone else. And I don't appreciate other people thinking they have the right to physically discipline MY children, without consulting me, and when I'm right there too! I would never smack anyone else's child, even if they were in my care and their parents weren't around, because I don't believe its my place. How would you feel about this?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
23 Nov 11
My mother and my siblings have spanked my children and I've spanked my brother's children when they have been doing something that could have caused serious harm to themselves or others. In addition, my mother and siblings as well as my best friend have all been told that they are allowed to discipline my children the way that they discipline my own because they spend a lot of time with all of these people. I think that it is best to have consistentcy with the adults that children spend a lot of time with.
24 Nov 11
If my kids were in her care its a different matter, but when I am THERE I don't expect other people to overrule me and try to discipline my children without my consent
@mr_pearl (5038)
• India
19 Nov 11
I agree with you Marianne.. I wouldn't do that either... Discipling the kids is quite a complicated process and it is very delicate too... The punishments, if they are severe and consistent, might leave effects which wouldn't vanish for years. This might result in a totally imperfect human mind (trust me, its my personal experience) and the kid might not feel confident enough to survive the world... Even when such kids grow up, they feel inadequate... Upbringing has got a lot to do to shaping the human mind, that is in a primary state. So please be careful about it... As to your sister, don't let your kid be around such people... Good Luck!!!
19 Nov 11
Their dad is very short-tempered and we argue about discipline a lot, most of our arguments are about him being too harsh. I'm slowly getting him to be better at handling things, I don't need my sister starting as well!
@wulania (1528)
• Indonesia
21 Nov 11
it hard for you. if i were you, i will complained to your sister. i think you you have to mate such conrarct or commitment about your kids. it is not good issue when you argue with your sister because of your overexited kids when playing together. you have to respect each other coincidentallly enjoying your life
@Graceekwenx (3168)
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
Marianne. I am not a parent. I am an aunt. In my humble opinion, i appreciate it if other folks in the house would discipline (however it was done, either smacking or whatever) my children with or without my prescence. If ever i become a parent, i would be humble enough to admit that there are things that i might miss out when it comes to disciplining my children as i assume that if that time would ever come, i would probably be working still. To me, it doesnt matter who in the family does the disciplinary action. It would be a lot humiliating though if outsiders (not the teachers) would discipline or be dismayed with my children. I hope you wont feel bad if relatives teach your kids a lesson or two. Yes you may consider that as a smack on your pride but for the sake of the kids, consider that as a helping hand.
• United States
20 Nov 11
I never let anyone do this with kay kay. I just felt like that was for me an no one else. My daughter's father could not spank her. He was not there to parent her like me no way no how.
@lilaclady (28277)
• Australia
19 Nov 11
I think it is a big no no, with todays laws and such I think it is a very dangerous thing to do to lay your hands on another persons child, heavens know what you could be charged with.