My husband's not home.

@bagarad (12761)
Paso Robles, California
November 20, 2011 4:05am CST
It's almost 2 AM. He left at 8 AM this morning for Ventura. Two friends drove a truck up separately. They were there to help move the tenant out if she needed it. She promised to leave today and my husband said he'd give her entire deposit back if she'd just leave now. At 7 PM he called and she was only partially out. Then he said he saw a truck that might be there for her, and he said he'd call back when he knew more. I'm still waiting for that call. I'm praying he's Ok. It's raining hard, and his knee has collapsed on him twice this week, and he fell getting out of the pool yesterday and had a huge bump on his leg. I hope he decided to go to a motel, but it's not like him not to call. Now I'm almost afraid for the phone to ring. He was not prepared to spend the night, since he left his CPAP machine at home. But it's too late and stormy for him to be trying to drive home alone. I am trying not to be afraid. I have prayed, and I'm trusting God to keep him safe. I only put the light lock on the door, not the dead bolt, so if he comes home, he should be able to get in. Perhaps the battery on his cell phone died. But I have to admit that I'm alarmed. I will leave the ringer on tonight, so I will hear the phone if it rings. How do you feel when things like this happen? Would you be able to go to bed and sleep, not knowing if your husband or wife is safe? It may be he and the two friends were busy until after midnight and thought it too late to call by then. My husband never stays up this late except in emergencies. I hope they all stopped at a motel, because one of the two men drove my truck for me on a trip and got in an accident late at night because he fell asleep at the wheel.
10 people like this
17 responses
@peavey (16866)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I'm praying with you that everything is all right. That's a very nerve wracking situation. Please keep us posted.
4 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
Right after I posted the phone rang. It was my husband. He was just getting on the freeway after going through the mountains past Cachuma Lake. That means he was a little more than halfway home. It's still pouring here, but hadn't started raining there yet. He was going to stop in Santa Maria for coffee, or, if it appeared stormy, he was considering spending the night an hour away from home. My guess is he'll try to make it. He said he was still doing OK. So I'm going to go to bed and try to get some rest since it's after 2:30 now. I'll pray he'll make it safe the rest of the way, whether tonight or tomorrow. I feel better after hearing from him.
4 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 11
I was hoping by now you heard from him. I know I would not be able to sleep being scared and worried sick. I hope he is home by now with that bad knee. I can only imagine the pain from falling on it. I am glad you had mylot to talk to as well. I know that feeling as well.
2 people like this
@peavey (16866)
• United States
20 Nov 11
Thank heavens, bagarad! I did pray and then I went to bed, but this was the first thing on my mind when I woke up. I remember when my daughter first started driving, a few times she was late getting home and it was awful. I couldn't even pretend to sleep, so I would go to bed and lie there as tense as could be. I'm sure you appreciate your husband this morning!
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31637)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I was glad to read that he called! I know well what you are going through, I've gone through it myself many times but for different reasons. You worry while you wait, no matter how hard you try. I used to call hospitals to see if my husband had been hurt and was relieved when none confirmed my fears. I paced and worried all night, sometimes 2-3 nights with no word from him. When he came home I was so relieved that I could hardly be angry-that came later but did no good. It's agonizing when someone we love is out of touch for so long. I'm glad you heard from him and I hope he makes it home alright. Next time-if there is a next time-or on any long trip, send that CPAP with him and schedule check-in times. I hope everything went well, too, with the eviction/move-out.
4 people like this
• United States
21 Nov 11
Wow dragon, I agree with Bagarad, if I had to wait that long, I would have gone crazy...
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Nov 11
Hi bagarad Really scary... at least for me. I spend sleepless nights when my wife is travelling to her parents or even away for a day or more. She had met with a near fatal accident before we met. That is one reason and another is that I have no one else to care for and she is the one who completes me. She is going out to some place this week, and would be away for about 8 days. I am not sure how I am going to be without her. I hope everything is safe with your hubby and hey, you can always call him up to find out what is he upto. I am sure he would be careful. Take Care
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
Hubby is home safely now, and had very good traffic conditions on the part of the trip I was most concerned about, the last half hour on the grade in a storm. He said his car was the only one on the freeway and all the rest of the way home going in his direction and he did have visibility. I don't call him when he's driving because he would either have his phone off, as I've told him to, or it would be a distraction. I know he will call me if necessary, as he did right after I had posted. This morning he says he was just so tired and eager to get home, with so much on his mind, he just forgot to call when he left. I hope you wife will also have a safe trip. I don't worry much about Hubby when I know he's at his destination. I only worry when I know he's traveling.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
21 Nov 11
That is nice to know about the safe conditions for the drive. I loved reading this part though - I don't call him when he's driving because he would either have his phone off, as I've told him to, or it would be a distraction. I know he will call me if necessary, - You people are so mature... Wished we all were this way
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I saw he called after you submitted this, but I didn't see if he made it home, I pray he did. I know I hate it when my husband does this, he not only doesn't get home, but he doesn't call and his personality is one where he ALWAYS calls, even to say nothing. Most of the time he is held up or he couldn't get home and stayed with his brother, but regardless, he has a cell phone and should call when it gets late so I won't be freaking out...
20 Nov 11
It is now almost 1 pm there and I was hoping that this is now resolved. Thank goodness that you heard from him last night. Now please tell us that there is some good news and that he got home ok.
3 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
He arrived home about 3:30 and we both slept really late. I really appreciate the prayers. I know they helped keep him alert on that final phase of the journey after the storm finally caught him. Most of the details are in the comments to the responses above.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Nov 11
Yes, I saw that on your rainbow discussion,I will check out the details too..:)
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
20 Nov 11
dear bagarad, this would drive me crazy too and I tell you I would also not sleep and worry a lot. My husband would be the one to have a good sleep nevertheless I guess but I would be awake, maybe on the computer to do something that takes my thoughts off a bit but I would also be very restless about it if he doesnt come home the time he is expected to. Hope everything is okay at your place by now.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
The tough part of this was that there was no expected arrival time until I got his 2 AM call right after I'd posted. By then I knew if all was well he'd be home within two hours, and if he wasn't and didn't call, it was probably because he'd decided to stop at a motel if he didn't feel he could make it safely home. He wouldn't have called then because he would have been afraid he'd wake me up. He did make it home in the expected time, then, but I was asleep and didn't know he was home for sure until 7 AM.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Nov 11
oh bagarad I am so relieved to hear he got home safely and all is well. I was scared along with you.,I just got out of a nice hot shower into our chilly room so have myfluffy bath robe on and hope to warm up soon.as chilly as today was its a wonderit did not snow,would that not be something here in 'southern California ]lol. well I am really glad for you.God was watching so thats good.
• United States
20 Nov 11
I worry. So if my love didn't contact me when he said he would , I would be so worried. I would picture him bleeding in the street! I am late coming to this post. I hope everything is ok by now. Let me know .
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
Sarah, he's safe and sound at home now and we both slept in. I think we had breakfast at 11:30, but I couldn't get back to the computer right away because I needed to let him tell me about his day.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Nov 11
Sleeping in on a Sunday! I'm glad he is ok.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
20 Nov 11
I felt your fears, when I first read your discussion, and waited to respond in hopes that all your fears would be allayed! Thank goodness, you heard...and you are somewhat relieved...but he isn't home yet! I pray that happens soon...and you will sleep in today! Living on an Island, this often happens when some-one makes a journey in our boat, I never rest until ALL is safe, back on terra firma! The ocean is such an unforgiving place--and there is just NO gas-stations to pop into and make a call! Just you and the elements! Please let us know that all is well!
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
Thank you for your prayers. He is safely home and we both slept in. He got home a couple of hours after he called, and I had just fallen asleep, so I didn't hear him yell up the staircase that he was home. I can imagine how it must feel to know someone is boating home to you. Do cell phones work on the ocean or would the way home be out of range?
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Nov 11
PHEW! I'll bet a good sleep was had by ALL! I know, your mind just sort of caves in! I did not know you got those type of rainstorms in So. CA! Cell phones..Oceans ..and non-porous rock structure..Cell phones about 50% of the time, if you can re-position yourself into "line of sight" of a tower...BUT if you have boat trouble, not that easy! VHF's and CB's (also victims of our land structures) are the most common "boater" communication! But Murphy's Law always seems to intercede..if something can go wrong at the most inappropriate time it will...LOL! There is nowhere to run and hide on the Ocean! Living on an Island, I have great respect for it! I am so happy, all is safe and secure in your world!
@BarBaraPrz (20794)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
20 Nov 11
Oh, dear.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
All's well that ends well, as the bard said. He's safely home now.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (20794)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
20 Nov 11
That's good.
1 person likes this
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
20 Nov 11
Hi bagarad. It is now 12 hours later. I saw in another post that your husband did call. Thank God for that, and he is okay and headed home, thank God again. One of your questions was, would I be able to go to bed and sleep, not knowing if my loved one was safe? My answer is no. That would be a very hard thing for me to do. I would be concerned out of my mind. On my knees praying to God for their safe return. Calling things to be not as though they were. Saying they are home safe and sound, in the Name of Jesus. I thank God that you heard from him. Be blessed and I hope that the rest of the night went well and peaceful for you and your husband.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
He made it home safely. I had been praying while I was trying to sleep, phone my my bed. I knew I had to try, since if anything did go wrong, I might need to be rested enough to go out and drive in a storm myself. I prayed God would help him make the right decision about trying to make it home, and that God would keep him safe, and then I trusted God to do the rest. I must have fallen asleep when he was about 15 minutes from home. Evidently God gave me enough peace then to be able to sleep. Thank you for caring.
1 person likes this
@Fatcat44 (1142)
• United States
20 Nov 11
Don't you have cellphones yet. This one great reason why I bought my wife and children cellphones so I do not have to worry like this. Get a cellphone and get rid of you landline
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
He had a cell phone --that's what he called on at 2 AM. I didn't want to call him because I've told him to leave it turned off when he's driving so he won't be tempted to answer it and break the law. I'd rather he call me when he's not driving. He just was so tired and anxious to get started home he forgot to call before he left. There are also places along the journey where he's out of range for reception, but he did call right after I posted and then I know he was about 90 minutes driving time from home and if he did get into problems which hospitals I should call to check. Fortunately he got home safely and that wasn't necessary.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
20 Nov 11
I hope by now you know if he's okay or not. I would be concerned too. I probably would lay down but not sleep. Like the olden days when the kids were here and not home by curfew. It wasn't often but it was scary when you didn't hear from them...and back then we didn't have cell phones.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
All is well now. We are all safe and warm inside and it's still raining.
1 person likes this
@wulania (1528)
• Indonesia
20 Nov 11
i hope your husband is ok and everything run well. jobs sometime command people to leave family even at night. i ever did that, no sleeping for two days when the deadline of my job was near. have you called by phone your husband? i think you should check the condition of your husband, where are they now, and what is happening.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Nov 11
It turns out he sent the two driving the truck home at 5 PM, so they were already home -- I just didn't know it. I knew when my husband called me right after I posted at 2 AM, that he was OK then, and I knew that if he was OK he'd be home in an hour and a half, which he was. Calling him just would have slowed him down and distracted him, and as tired as he was, I did not want him distracted even more.
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
21 Nov 11
bagarad ...I have read he already called so he is safe thankfully. I can relate to the worrying ..I do worry if my hubby is late and he hasn't called. No way could I go to sleep not knowing if he were safe. I would, like you, be praying and trying to keep busy..either through housework, exercise, the Internet..any distration. So glad all is well
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
22 Nov 11
He's fine today, and keeping his normal schedule. He hasn't had anymore trouble with his knee, either, even though he did go swimming again today and it's cold here (for us.)
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
22 Nov 11
bagarad..glad all is well..swimming is an excellent exercise. I wish I could force myself to swim when it's cold but I am chicken..I like my creature comforts..
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
22 Nov 11
You should not worry. If your husband was normal, he would have something with your identification on you and the police would have called. Otherwise he is forgetful, his cell ran down, or something like that. I have to not worry and my husband worked for the railroad and that was quite dangerous.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
21 Nov 11
I have spent most of my life at the head of the worry line. Finally I am able to turn things that I have no control of over to my higher powers. My Mother in law use to drive me crazy by just saying "so be it" but now that I am older I totally understand. One does what one can and then just lets go. Since i just read your later post I know he got back OK
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
22 Nov 11
I should give you a trophy. A post like this one is very good for seeing who has read the previous posts and replies and who hasn't. After a day of almost complete rest yesterday, he's about back to normal.
@drannhh (15240)
• United States
21 Nov 11
I am sure glad he called, and was OK. For his last 10 years I pretty much went everywhere with my late husband, and in his last year I was with him even in the hospital. Sometimes I slept on the floor.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
21 Nov 11
Unfortunately, I can't go everywhere with him. Was he ill during those last ten years? Our plan is to sell that building once he gets it all rented again. He realizes he's getting too old to manage it. At least he has someone who will show it. We used to live only half an hour from it when we bought it. I'm just praying he can get the violations taken care of soon and get it all rented again so he can sell it. We are both too old to be making this trip all the time. I was just so glad to see him safely home this morning. He has been resting all day and he went to bed very early tonight, so he will probably be pretty close to normal tomorrow.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Nov 11
hi bagarad so this storm must be widespread here in Ca as its pouring down here in Garden Grove ca. Oh if I were in your shoes I wo uld be worried too. I have been there and hoped my husband would call and he finally did , what relief.I also hope he is okay too. sometimes the cellphone willnot work in certain areas too you know.I am sure he will call if anything bad is going on,. trust in God ri ght now is about all you can do.No I would not be able to go to bed and sleep either. right now I am worried that my son who went to LA toda y to return a mac computer he rescued that he found out belonged to a David Nimoy, who he also fou nd ou t is the grandson of Leonard Nimoy the actor who used to play Mr.Spock in Star trek. but my son is 52 and healthy so I am sure he will be okay. but still he is my son and I do worry. I hope you are right and hes stopped at a motel. please try not to worry too much and I will pray too that hes safe and will wait til daylight to come come.
@bagarad (12761)
• Paso Robles, California
21 Nov 11
Hatley, you must not have read the other comments and replies. He got home at 3:30 in the morning and we slept very late and he is fine. When did the rain hit Garden Grove? It wasn't raining while my husband was driving last night until he got almost to SAn Luis Obispo. When I talked to my brother in Tustin this afternoon, he didn't mention the rain either.