how do you ditch that B*tch!
United Arab Emirates
November 23, 2011 3:04am CST
Hi there mylotters last night i got a message from a dear friend who is like a sister to me and i couldn't help but get affected with what she told me... here it goes. she got married to this guy for almost 6 yrs now and they have done it in the US because the guys family is there. the girl on the other hand lives in UK. after their civil wedding, the guy had to get back to the philippines to finish his studies whilst the girl had to go back to UK because she has a job there. she often goes to visit the hubby for holidays and this went on for almost 5 years. finally this year they got a church wedding and she was able to get him to follow her to UK (since he have graduated from his studies) this is where the story happens... since the hubby just got there he was still looking for a job so he stays at home and she goes to work. One day, she opened his old email and boom! she saw emails from a girl and recent conversation of her hubby and the B*tch saying she misses him and her hubby said in the conversation -Thank you for always being there for me, its easier with you. she was devastated and brokenhearted. confronted her hubby and asked him questions. the hubby confessed that he had an affair with that girl for months and was his professor! being the kind of person she is (my friend) she is very kind and cool! she loves him so much and she just wanted to move on. the hubby was sorry as well. she accepts and wanted so much to just forget it since it is not in the nature of the hubby to do things like this that is why it was so difficult for her to digest and believe it happened. He said everything ended already but he just spoke with the girl again out of depression and nothing else... after a few weeks they have tried so hard to leave the past behind when he received an sms from the girl saying that everything she does and places she goes reminded her of him and being together. this really crushed my friend's heart! she was so mad... her husband was saying that its over but the stupid B*tch doesn't get it. she was asking for my advice on what she'll do. she wanted to tell her off by writing to her! if you were in this kind of situation what would you do? if you were the wife? if you write a letter to the B*tch what would you say? and if you were the husband how would you deal with the situation?
23 Nov 11
if i were the husband i probably won't get into that situation in the first place. If i'm no longer comfortable in a relationship then it would be best to end it first before start a new one. I don't know weather saying something to the girl once and for all will do something good or make things even worst so i probably won't say anything at all..
23 Nov 11
This is such a hard situation. I know I have no so much idea if how I can handle this/ what's the right thing to do. I was touched by your friend's story. It must be really hard for her. I think they need to talk to his husband. If who's really the one he love? Maybe his husband is just afraid to neglect his responsibility to his wife, and can't say that they should end. I mean, they are married but he has no more feelings. While on the other girl, they are not married but there's love between them. I also think that the guy was just depressed during those times/he needs someone to comfort him/he needs companion since living in other countries is such a stressful & difficult situation, and we both all know that we easily fall into temptations. Maybe he was not strong enough to handle those kind situation.
• United Arab Emirates
23 Nov 11
hi there and thanks. yes this is such a hard situation. i believe that no woman would like to be in this kind of mess, but sometimes it really inevitable. it the toughest thing you will encounter in your married life. they have spoken to each other and the husband admits that it was not for him to pursue whatever he had with the other girl. and i reckon if he really love this other girl then why did he go to UK to follow his wife. he is really guilty and so ashamed with what he has done to her. He was sorry thats why she accepted him and made amends. but let me ask you. what will you say or what will you do to the other woman?
25 Nov 11
Do you believe that in every relationship or situation in life? upon realizing your past mistakes and overcoming those, the more you want to desire yourself to change for GOOD, THE MORE TEMPTATIONS WILL ARISE. That is exactly how I can describe your shared topic. First, it is clearly obvious that your friend husband before they got married do have that kind of lifestyle as what your friend lately had discovered, and maybe, when they got married already and realized he really love your friend, he opted to change but HE failed in changing his previous works because HE WAS TEMPTED ( just like ADAM and EVE but in this case, it was ADAM who was tempted by a SNAKE ) and you know who I describe already as the SNAKE ( the B*tch) Second, I see that your friend is very responsible. IMAGINE HER EFFORTS TO JUST FILL EVERYTHING EVEN DISTANCE MET JUST TO FILL ALL THE BEST FOR THE RELATIONSHIP? She is very extraordinary. She never doubted her husband, instead she gave so much trust and support all the time without knowing the real truth of her husband was doing. That only signifies, HOW PURE IS HER HEART TO LOVE AND BE COMMITTED AND WHAT IS MARRIAGE ALL ABOUT! AT her own cost, effort, time and LOVE. For, this she was hoping all the time that everything in her life is in proper place , happy, contented and well achieved right? (that is before knowing the real situation) Third, THE behavior of your friend is normal because, all emotions are carried by all those shocking revelations she discovered, and please take note? it was not her husband who have that guilt to confess the truth but the third party ( B*tch) With any wife in that situation, will really freak out and the worst of it was the problem did not justify the reason of her husband once they confronted, and here is the second issue again via SMS of the same ISSUE. Would you believe her husband reasons? I for not.. the way this B*tch counts is that they have spent very important times together than his wife. Fourth, IF her husband tell it's over? when is the question of the word "OVER"? IT is over because of the reasons like HE was living with your Friend now ( his wife) and he has no more options to go back? or OVER because his wife got to know the truth already and he has no way out but to say "OVER", or OVER because her husband realized he is really guilty and in great mistake doing it to his wife? which among this will answer the Word "OVER" Fifth, If I am to ask about what to do in this situation, after all the defense of my husband, I will set aside pain for it will be there to recall it, But, I will think SMARTER now rather be mixed with emotions. I will think of the FOLLOWING: I AM THE WIFE AND NO ONE CAN TAKE OR SUPERVISE ME! EVEN THAT b*TCH I HAS ALL THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS/ REACT AND IN CONTROL OF MY HUSBAND FOR HE HAD DONE THAT MISTAKE NOT ME.. NO MATTER HOW IM ANGRY, I WILL FORGIVE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE I WILL NOT LET ANY PERSON TO DESTROY OUR 6 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, EITHER WHAT LACKING IN IT, I DID ALL MY BEST AND I MUST HAVE THAT RESERVATION AS A WIFE I WILL ACT AS A DESCENT WOMAN IN ALL SO THAT WHENEVER MY HUSBAND WILL SEE ME, ALL HE SEES ARE THE GUILT INSIDE OF HIM AND IN THIS HE WILL CHANGE AND REALIZE. Fifth, If i will write a letter to that B*tch it goes like this : Hi, I am sure you know me very much. I was expecting MY HUSBAND was there to finish his studies for better education and OUR FUTURE. In fact, am very supportive of him going there always, But, how come a professor do give such tutorial teaching to one student only? A teaching to cheat his own wife? Is this a new Degree there or your own special degree? or yes, I read all your degrees., Sounds, your a great teacher trying still to re-unite her student in long time right? I wonder why WHEN WILL YOUR LECTURES WITH MY HUSBAND WILL STOP? IS THAT A NEVER ENDING COURSE? IF YES? I AM NOT AWARE ONLY NOW, and sorry to say , BUT I WANTED MY HUSBAND TO DROP THAT DEGREE CHEATING COURSE OF YOURS NOW! FOR HE IS MY HUSBAND AND YOU ARE A PROFESSOR ONLY, and I will not wonder why my Husband knew such course, because your'his teacher taking advantage and giving special degrees for ONE student. YOU do not need to act like professional for you are not, nor if you will claim that my Husband seduces you? Once you have known that he is married, being a professor must have checked all the paper correctly and must have good moral values. I Supposed you have ethics. If ever you expect my Husband after all your messages? well, never mind, for professors must be ready to release their students and accept other students again,from there you again apply your Degree. By, the way, I have no plans of letting anyone to DESTROY our 6 years marital relationship. I have a clear conscience with GOD, I do good to others so it will be reflected back to me. Your mistakes are there, and will be carried thru your lifetime, so add me as one of your memories . Sixth, If I am the husband, I have no right to make lies at all, I will reveal the truth just to compensate all the pains Caused to my wife, because my marriage will suffer. I have committed mistakes many times and this will be a lesson for me and I not blame my wife if she was hurt deeply because of my infidelity. I should realize that this is the time to center my wife, once she accepted me again, even my professor still tempt me, I will not worry anymore and have a good night sleep unlike before that I clean my lies to keep my wife alone. Sorry, If I made so long discussion, I just wanted to share my insights about this.at least to comfort you and your friend. No matter how destructive the third party is, just hold on to the marriage.. That is the best, and try to forgive him, Im sure, the next if he committed it again, he will wake up one day alone with no more TRUE WIFE in bed but just a wife in papers.. I hope he learned from the mess he did. GREAT day here at mylot