Calling Ex-Boyfriend's or Girlfriend's Companionship

@babyEj (1525)
Philippines
November 24, 2011 6:03am CST
When someone is in pain they look for companionship with someone they trusted or had trusted. If you're friends are busy and nowhere to be found when you need them would you call you're boyfriend or girlfriend's companion instead? Why ? Do you think it won't complicate your present love affair with someone? Let's say you go out and drink with your ex without the knowledge of your present bf/gf.
10 responses
@fannitia (2170)
• Bulgaria
27 Nov 11
Why not? If your ex is someone you trust and respect. I'm still in contact with a man who was my boyfriend years ago. We were deeply in love with each other but got separated. After a while I got married but I wanted to keep this man as a friend. I presented him to my husband who was a wonderful person too. And my husband made me meet his ex wife. She was an amazing woman and I liked her very much. Things can be so simple between all the people if there are trust, friendship and respect.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Yes I think it will be different if you are married already. Marriage is like a seal of someone's love to a person..It can mean trust to.. Wow! I had the same love story. But I haven't introduce my friend to my husband. Thank you fannitia!
@Xansus (950)
• Bulgaria
27 Nov 11
I dont think i can get in that situation . The situatuin is strange so you want to say overall . You are in pain and you need the companionship of someone , but not your current GF/BF but your ex one since like your current dont give a damn if you are in pain or so whatsoever :P And after that the question is Lets say you go out with your ex without the knowedge of your present one that dont give a damn about your pain . Ok this got messy :P But well first my ex is my ex - its in the past . When i'm with a girl i'm all and only hers . So i dont think i will need to share my pain with my ex , but even if that do happen in some twisted fate scenario :) - its only natural to tell my girlfriend that i will go out with my friend (or say exgirlfriend) . And sorry i dont drink - i like Cola :P
@eljayo (1107)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
Hi! I think this is not good. Why not have your parents accompany you. Let them be your confidant. Anyway they give good advises than your friends do and they know better. Calling your ex will just ruin a lot of things unless it is really over for you or you two are not alone together.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Good choice! Why not parents , right.. I agree it can ruin everything especially when it's complicated already.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
25 Nov 11
I would call my ex-boyfriend if my friends don't exist when I need them. Just because we have known each other's flaws.. :)
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Won't you consider the other party? I mean his gf or your bf's feeling? It might be misunderstood... Knowing each other's flaw won't guarantee that's the best decision.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
25 Nov 11
Oh no, never. If I break up I can't go after. Only if after weeks or months they call so that means I can have a friendship. I wouldn't then call for companionship, like never ask an ex boyfriend to go out but I would call if he done it first. The rules can be different if I was dumped, then I would never forgive
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Thank's for being straightforward. Of course , what a slap if a woman dumped by a man and you go after him for companionship.That would mean that you love him so much... Never!!
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
For me as a single , I will not contact him because his girlfriend is so strict . I don't want to be the one reason of their fight. So its better to endure my pain alone and heal it in my own courage. When I am sad or suffering from pains . I usually read bible,encouraging words from the bible make me feel really good. I usually do that ^^.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
That's rght. We also have to consider the effect of our decision to other people especially to the new gf of your ex... surely it'll create misunderstanding since you said she's strict... Reading bible would ease the pain and that would be a healthy decision to do so.
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
As what other had said, It really depends on the depth of your friendship after that love partners relationship. The only one thing Im sure is that no matter how the problems you are about to share in your EX- expect to arise the complications of getting that pint of hurt or ouch feeling especially if the topic are covered with the new/present relationship. Matters may discuss to a point you will also talk about your past relationship that means creating a connection again and what comes next? The question is " what if both of your have clearly agreed your relationship are part of your past but the actions do not justify itself when you are together for that moment in time? things may be compromised and the worst is, " if both of you wanted to be re-united again? how are you going to deal with your present relationships? You see? this will add more confusions alot especially if the love for your EX has greater bearings than your present. Very hard to answer that question, and it is only between you in that situation can answer. But, for me, I will not compromise myself to call my EX - even left with no option. For, it is in my thought the reasons why we had ended is enough to prove that we can never work again as a team and can never be replaced again but move on,just leave a part of the past..No matter how things you can say you can handle it, the tingling emotional attachment may string and lead up to something we cannot predict at all.. But, the level of forgiveness had been achieved, and the level "friends" may remain as long you know your limits also.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Well said genericbe.. I won't suggest too, for me in terms of love affair it is better to deal more with your present than your past because there are things left unanswered or not ended and if it would be reopened complications are hard to manage so the best thing to do is NOT TO.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
25 Nov 11
Why should I call my ex? Ex = exit. With me it means I lost all trust in him. So why would I turn to someone I don't trust when I am in need? Also i don't think my ex is the kind of person that would understand what I am talking about or is able to help. So calling him is just a waste of my time and good energy. I also will NEVER go out with my ex. If I would do that he would think I want him back after all these years. I want to get rid of my ex not keeping stucked to him for the rest of my life. Also I will get married soon. I think it's strange if you have someone new you turn to your ex if you are in need. I know there are plenty of people who do so, but if you start all over again, esp. if you have a new relationship, you should not keep going back to your ex. That is a very unhealty situation and not positive for your new relationship. So yes I do think it would complicate my present relationship. If my partner would turn to his ex if he is in need first or instead of me he is exit too. Since that is a clear sign to me he is more interested in the ex as willing to share with me.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
I agree, when you say goodbye to you ex that means having a new life with someone. Having him in the midst of problems would make an idea that you want him.. That's surely expected if you turn to someone whom you loved before...
@boyuancy (1709)
• India
24 Nov 11
If I am good friends with my ex then why not? My ex needs to understand that you can still be friends with your ex while not having any feelings for her except the feeling of friendship. Also, as you said, she needs to understand that I did it because there was no one else for my company.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
Would your new bf understand your decision to be with your ex in such situation? Won't he feel jealous or doubt for your action? Many people decide wrongly when they are mad or in pain so , though ex bf or gf are so called friends there would be some instances that they were driven by their feeling and commit mistakes in pampering someone who needs it.
• Philippines
24 Nov 11
It depends on the situation. An ex boyfriend or girlfriend can be your friend eventually. There are some cases of couples who broke up but as time pass by and as the wounds of their hearts began to heal and they have already completely moved on, they'll be reunited not as lovers again but as friends. And I think having an ex as a friend would be amazing since you already know each other's likes and dislikes. But some does not go in this stage and they completely forget about their past relationships. So yeah, I would definitely call my ex (if we are friends) whenever I need some help.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Nov 11
I'm not really sure if all ex bf's and gf's eventually become real friends even though they call themselves. Sometimes they do pretend to be just friends for them to get along.. Well it's the case of most but there were still rare cases like you have pointed out. BUT calling ex bf or gf would be the least thing to do if you already have new relationship because it will create doubt to your bf, might be acceptable but in some cases it creates misunderstanding so better not to.