sometimes i do not want to wake up for another day anymore
By airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
Philippines
November 28, 2011 2:25am CST
to my fellow mylotters,
as the time and days goes by, during the past months, my life is really struggling in so many loops and trials. as my everyday life is passing into a tunnel of trials, battles and depression. as there were times, i do not want to be awake anymore. there were nights that i am praying, that God will take my life and will not grant me another day to live in. as i am very disappointed with my life that i have now. only if i can turn back the time where i was before, then i will do it as quickly as now. but i really don't have that ability. besides, God can only do that thing if He will really allow that to happen. often times, i am asking some questions to God, what are His plan for me. what is my mission here where i was now. i am really really upset and depressed as the days goes by. i am just hoping that God will grant me very soon the cries of my heart.
11 responses
@averygirl72 (37716)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
I also feel that way in my life. I have many struggles and problems too and things are not going the way I like it to be. However, I still appreciate my life even though my life is plain and not impressive if others will know it. I just count my blessings no matter how simple they are and I just say that This too shall pass...good days will come.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
you are right, things will just past and good days will come. just like my sister keeps on telling to me, everything will come to its end.
@shigang1130 (2)
•
28 Nov 11
yeah,we should trust ourself.if we work hard,and i think day by day,good days will come
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
i am looking forward for the good days to come. how i wish that tomorrow is a good day.
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
I understand and see what you mean. I am not in the position to tell you that everything will be fine. But what I can tell you is that as long as their is life, there is always hope. Just move on, and continue and try to have a positive attitude. If things go not the way you want it, then simply accept and from there find a way to move on. Perhaps God has a better plan for you that is why you are not getting what you want right now. Just continue to pray and ask for more strength to continue moving and life will be worth waking up every waking moment of your life..
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
how i really really wish that what you have said regarding the better plan of God for me, will all happen tomorrow. so i can say that tomorrow is a worth waking up.
your positive thoughts are truly appreciated.
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
Hi Aira, if you feeling upset now and struggling with your life, put in the Lord all your problem and trust him that he will not want you to suffer that long, be thankful that everytime you open your eyes because he gives you another opportunity to live again, to correct the mistake you done before, to learned and for letting you live to share your love to others. I just hope that you surpass all your struggling and your heart desire. Just pray and believe that you will survive.
@sijabatnaburjut (2171)
• Indonesia
29 Nov 11
I wish I could help you out of your continuous problem. We were far apart and I mostly have done anything else. I was sure deep down in your heart that there was a will that you wanted to change bad performances and purposes as well. You know you must do something while you're praying for the spirit and service of our God. It is not worth a try to just stay in and focused on one thing. You must share a vision with other things. You have to know that you're not only who struggle hard in battling their stressed and depressed life as well.
@renee1216 (15)
• United States
29 Nov 11
I definitely know how you're feeling. Sometimes i have days where i just rather stay hidden from everyone around me. But staying positive for the things and people i do have in my life usually helps me. just stay positive and keep going. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. It'll come in time.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
28 Nov 11
If you want myLotters to make you feel better you need to share what is bothering you. Not that we have a magic wand but a bit of advice, some suggestions could perhaps help ease your tension. So do open up.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
My friend, we cannot advise you or suggest anything to do about your problem, because you are vague in what you narrated.
Maybe it would be better if you will be able to share that with a close friend or to your mother perhaps. By that, you will get some advises and perhaps help on your problem.
@haopee (493)
• Philippines
28 Nov 11
Hi aira. It's sad that you feel that you want God to end your life. The worst thing to do in life is regret the present and look back at the past. Wishing for things to have happened differently is not the answer. I know you are upset, but asking God to kill you is never the answer. I get depressed as well. But I'm glad I've already noticed the cycle of my depression that I can consciously control it now.
Although I believe in God, I hardly rely on him because I know he has already a lot of problematic people to help aside from I. If you feel you do not have a purpose, bear in mind that others have searched far and wide for theirs. You're not alone in your confusion.
For now, I can only give you a digital hug and tell you that if you stop crying and start finding, what you seek will appear in due time.
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
28 Nov 11
Hello there. It appears you are gripped by severe depression and going by the tone of your post, one thinks you have been battered repeatedly. While it may be difficult for anyone to offer you full counsel without getting to the depth of issues and without interacting, we can counsel perseverance & faith. Personal interaction either with a counselor or with some one in whom you can confide is needed right now.
However, as a fellow mylotter, I can certainly advise if that helps in some way. It is about losing faith in oneself. I recall a very pertinent quote from a philosopher monk who spread personality development & positive thinking to the World, Swami Vivkananda: If you have faith in in three million mythological Gods and many more history has introduced amongst us and still do not have faith in yourselves, then there cannot be salvation for you.
Having faith in God, you must also have faith in your virtues that God will reward you for. Talk it out with people you trust, relieve your burden and I am sure, you will emerge to carry on.
Peace, Blessings & Happiness. 
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 11
I'm not sure of what problems and difficulties you had faced. But I do believe that there should be some moments of your life which is pleasant and happy. When trials strikes you, you can always recall such happy moments to give you strength.
Life is full of challenges and obstacles. It can be worse for some people, but I believe you will gain more insights, experience and knowledge from it. Stay positive and get people you care to walk the journey of life with you ^_^
