i do try to solve my problems
December 3, 2011 9:19pm CST
the problem is those solutions are not permanent one. the real solution would be more difficult and would take more courage actually and entail more real sacrifice. which i am not willing to do right now. as it is not easy to do that actually. it would be indeed life changing experience if i can do that ultimate sacrifice to solve my problems and my family's problems. sometimes i feel that my family would be affected by how i live my life or if i do this sacrifice. somehow if i am able to solve my personal problem that there problems would be solved also if i had solved my own personal problems.
4 Dec 11
although i am not to be blame for my father's sickness, as no one wanted this as it is some thing that no one can prevent to happen, but somehow how i wished that i was able to deal with my personal issues in life back then when i was younger. if i did i would be a stronger and happier person and that would definitely affect my family in a big positive way and hopefully help them recover in their sickness. it just sad that i didn't realize that even back then when i was very young that my personal life would have affect positively in their life as well if i do live my life the best i can. although i would not say that i did live such a terrible life at all. only that not the ideal life i would imagine that can bring them some positive things also.