on having a one and only child

Philippines
December 6, 2011 7:29am CST
I am 34 years old and having a daughter who will be turning 5 by January. She keeps on asking me when can she have a younger brother. I keep on promising to her that she would have him by the time she turns 7. My colleagues would advise me to have a new baby but I know our finances could not guarantee. I don't want that the needs of the new baby will not met, that is why as much as possible we must be financially stable before having a new child. Is this correct? What do you think?
2 people like this
15 responses
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
6 Dec 11
i am an only child not because of finances but because my parents just couldnt have another. i found it lonely to be an only child, not only when i was a kid but even now as an adult. now i know, sibling relationships are not always ideal but i still wish i had a sibling, especially as my mom ages (my dad passed away 2 years ago).
@lumenmom (1996)
• United States
8 Dec 11
I was also raised as an only child (I later found I had half brothers and sisters when I was grown but it was not the same as growing up with siblings). It was very lonely many times and now I have one child which came late in life and no more will be coming. I feel bad for her when she wants that sibling company. If I had known I would have her I would desperately tried to have another so she would not be so lonely. She has many friends but most of them have siblings or close cousins. Unfortunately she is not able to get along with the cousins I thought she would be close to because they bully her. If you wait for finances to be there, they may not ever be ideal. I would not let that be the deciding factor because I do believe once the new child is here you will make space for him or her and the finances will adjust as needed.
@indi15 (883)
• India
23 Dec 11
Same is the case with me. My son just turned 4 and we were thinking of having other baby but because of financial problems , we have postponed our decision for an year if we are financially more stable then.
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
Hello my friend! Well, you have a point there, in some way or another, i would agree with you to be financially stable first before having a new one in the family, considering the needs of a baby is no joke! That's for practical reason and am a practical minded person too. I also have a son who is one year and 2 mos old. I just turned 32 years old and my husband keeps on asking me to have a baby girl! Whew! As much as possible I want to have a two year interval before having a new one, financial constraints is one the factors, another is I was on C-section when i had my first born, plus it was a high risk pregnancy. So I'd really like to rest for just a while before having a new one. However, in your case my dear, i think now is the best time for having a new one ;-)... We are not getting any younger and based on experience being preggy with our age is quite hard. Plus until when will we wait to be financially stable? hmmnn... Am sure with our hard work, God will help us provide. Anyway, if we're already there, everything will come into places. ;-) Good luck to us my friend! Happy mylotting!
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
8 Dec 11
I think that you have to decide. just if you feel insecure makes no sense to make a baby. Yet think about whether you want to stay with a child. This is an important decision. just ask as a dinner let everyone speak their mind. since the birth of a new human life is something special and trbyav be done with love. successful friend. Hopefully important decision and it is in your favor. nice day!
• United States
7 Dec 11
I can relate, I'm 31 and had not planned on having a baby in this economy or in my financial situation. Though it was accidental I am now 9 months pregnant and happy about it. Don't get me wrong I still have fears, but I'm learning to roll with the punches and figure it'll all work out. Though shocked at first, my family and 4 year old dUghter are ecstatic about the new addition.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
For me yes it is very hard to deal with that case things would be okay by your plan.
@jpso138 (7868)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
I am already 39 years old. Me and my wife only has 1 child and he is 8 years old. Though that question was also asked by our child if he will have a baby brother or sister a couple of times... Our answer was maybe a couple of years ago. But now, we told him that he will be the only child. The maon thing that we considered in coming up with such decision is financial capability. I know that adding an additional member to our family would be great but we also considered what is best for the whole family. We can surely provide a single chikd with better support considering the cost of living nowadays. We wish to give him the best of what we can offer and with our status right now, having an adfitional child would most likely compromise our plan. So i guess will just settle for one. On the other hand we will also be helping our country since we are over populated already.
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
hi there, in my opinion having your age it is wise to have new kids now than waiting for another 2 yrs to have one. What you will spend for your child in two yrs time is same as the money you will spend now. having an additional age in pregnancy have many risk involve. And with all the risk you will still add finance for it.
@picjim (3003)
• India
7 Dec 11
I agree with you one has to be financially stable before a new baby comes into the family.We can with difficulty manage the initial years.But as the children become older the expenses mount and it will be difficult to provide if the income is less.Bringing a child into this world without being able to provide adequately for the child will strain the family and make bringing up the child a difficult task.
@r3jcorp (1383)
• Philippines
7 Dec 11
If you are really planning of having another child, I think it is proper to have it the soonest you can. The 5years age gap is very far and there would be a very far interest for their age. My youngest daughter is 9 years old while my oldest is 14 years old. My youngest is very playful while my oldest is now being matured which she doesnt like to play with her sister. There are times that instead of being the best of friends, they always ended up quarrelling. And if you are a mother, you know Pregnancy would be risky after reaching 35 years old. They also say that children born before the mother reached 30 years old are more healthier and intelligent than those born after. What you need to do is to take a look on your budget, cut the things that are not important and I'm sure, there is a big place for a new baby in the near future. Goodluck!
@madteaparty (2761)
• Japan
7 Dec 11
I think you should explain your kid why she can't have a brother or sister. As a kid won't understand it now, as still doesn't know about adult life problems like affording everyday life, but she will understand it one day, and it's better than making up excuses when you don't know if you will be soon in a better economical situation. Also, a kid is something that you must want before having it, not just because of any kind of external pressure.
• United States
6 Dec 11
I think you're making a wise choice, wanting to wait until you can be financially secure to ensure you can provide well for a new child. It's no good raising kids in an environment where you can't provide for what they want and need, and it's a responsible choice to wait.
@mohkanari (1957)
• India
6 Dec 11
I think father, mother and two children form a model family. You can say " We are two and we have two". Two children can play themselves and would bring pleasant moods at home. I believe that god would show you the ways to improve the economical conditions of your family.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
6 Dec 11
In my opinion two kids are the best to have , has many advantages , but , dont wait to long to have the second one , is not very good a big distance in between of them and you are old enough to have him, the more you wait the more tyred will be. I know the economy is not very good nowadays but , two kids are perfect , they can grow up together and be a nice family , to have one , it will be so lonely for her or for him. Good luck , take the better desition that fits you.
6 Dec 11
Well, I agree with you. I have a nine-month-old baby, and my husband and I plan to have a baby again in the next five years. However, it can happen only if we already have much money to fulfill my new baby's needs and my daughter's needs as well. Financial planning is really needed nowadays, I guess. To me, I'll always try to give my best for my family, my husband, my daughter. Therefore, if I want to have a baby again, I'll prepare them well, including my financial to welcome a new baby. Yeah, we have to wait until we have a stable condition of our financial..