Can a Mother Be Justified in Giving Her Baby/child for Adoption?

Davao, Philippines
December 22, 2011 9:06am CST
She has just delivered her first baby out of wedlock...and she is confused. She does not know how will she bring up her baby, knowing she has no job, her parents have forsaken her. Here comes a couple who does not have a child. They offered to adopt her baby and she consented. In return she was given a considerable amount for her to start a new life. One condition is: She will move on forgetting that she had once a baby that she gave up for adoption...What do you think? Can a mother be justified in giving her own baby for adoption for the good future of her baby?
4 people like this
16 responses
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
22 Dec 11
By all means! I should know! I have done this! Twenty two years a go I got pregnant. The boyfriend was a an #sshole! He kept bouncing form job to job. I had no job and I knew giving up my son for adoption was the best thing to do even before he was born! So I did through an a Adoption agency,to a childless couple who couldn't have children. I never have regretted it! It was justified! My life would of been a mess and my son's,too,if I kept him! I knew I couldn't trust his father to pay child support! I didn't want him to even by a part of his son's life because he is such a %sshole! My life and my son's life were better off doing what I did! Some times adoption is the right thing to do!
• Davao, Philippines
23 Dec 11
Sometimes, we go through life through the flow of time which brings us lots of experiences.Out of them we learn our lessons...Out of them we found out that the decisions we made in the past was indeed the best option at that time...This is proven in giving up your son for adoption, a decision you made in the past...
• Jacksonville, Florida
22 Dec 11
I think it is a tough decision but sometimes people feel its their only option. It is much better than killing an innocent child. I could never do it because I felt a bond with my children when they were inside me. I think a lot of people regret it years later though. I am so glad I never did because I would definitely regret it. If I had to I would still want to see my child so I could never agree to something like that.
• Davao, Philippines
23 Dec 11
I see in you the genuine love of a mother to her child, a strong bond which you already felt when your baby was still inside you. Yet,you still considered the act of this woman in giving her baby for adoption, justified...at least better than have her baby aborted. You are among the few women who would really do their best to care and raise their Babies to the best they can without giving them up for adoption...
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Yes definitely. I had 3 children in 1995 and I got raped, ended up pregnant, and aside from the fact that I couldn't afford another baby(I was 22 years old at that time and my kids were 7,4, and 1)I felt like I just could not love that baby when it came. So I contacted an adoption agency when I was about 4 mos pregnant. I met with a few couples, and one single woman who wanted the baby I ended up going with the couple. They didn't pay me money to adopt my baby, that is illegal in the US. But recently Ifound out that that son, now 16 years old had been put up for adoption again 8 years after i had him because his parents divorced and his adoptive mother decided she didn't want to be a single mom. I feel I was justified in putting Dominic up for adoption. To a certain degree I feel that his mother was not justified in trying to readopt him to someone else at such a late date, just because her marriage didn't go as planned.
• Davao, Philippines
23 Dec 11
Ohhh...inspite of what you have gone through, I still admire your guts to put things together and braved to face life..although that included to have your other baby adopted. You're justified with what you have done. What happened years later when your son was again given up for re-adoption is no longer you fault. The first adoptive mother I think has done your child severe damage emotionally when she gave her up to be adopted by another set of parents just because she does want to raise him alone...
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
In my opinion, that's better than abortion. At least she had given the innocent baby a life and a chance to live. yah, adoption is not a solution for being a single mom- but then again, that is more justified than killing or having abortion.
• Davao, Philippines
23 Dec 11
Thank you for agreeing with me that this mother who gave up her baby for adoption somehow could be justified in doing that for some good reasons, for the benefit of her child and another way of providing her baby a brighter future...Yeah, it's much better that she did not have her baby aborted while she was yet pregnant of her baby..
• Bangalore, India
22 Dec 11
hi, only the mother have very high dreams on the baby of his/her future and in that case that is right to give the child for the best future of the child and the other thing is the she should have no more child..to be justified..!
• Davao, Philippines
23 Dec 11
Vishnumuthu, I was intrigued with your comment,although you posted a sensible remark on the part of the bewildered mother...but when you said "..and the other is the she should have no more child...to be justified", I doubt if you agree for that mother who gave up her baby for adoption for good reason, is justified or could be justified by doing that...
@maximax8 (28560)
• United Kingdom
29 Dec 11
I have watched an adoption special on a program called 16 and Pregnant. The young ladies liked finding out about their babies through letters from the adoptive parents and seeing photos. One of them was very upset that she had gone ahead of adopting her cute little daughter. I think most of the young ladies have emotions about the adoption. The other young ladies that kept there babies had a challenging time but coped well. The young lady that you are discussing won't be able to forget her baby it she gets him or her adopted. She will have to move away and she might miss her friends and family. She is not married but if she gets on well with the baby's dad they might get together. Does she have a mom that could help her raise her baby. If so she could get a job. Good luck to that young lady.
• United States
23 Dec 11
Sure, why not? As long as the future parents are loving ones I don't see a problem with that. Hopefully the mother is not thinking just about money though. A good home is not necessarily one with more money.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
23 Dec 11
yes in certain situations.
23 Dec 11
I think yes for the better future of a baby she has to give her baby. She does not have any job thats only a reasone to give her baby? I think it's not suffcient.With some hard work and concentration she can get the best job and earn good income.
@ramonah (213)
• Romania
23 Dec 11
I think it depends on the case, and in the worst of cases she is really justified. If she's poor, maybe she'd rather have that baby live well and healthy than keeping it with her and who knows what might happen and where they both end up. Other case I can think about is rape pregnancy. A mother like that might just be justified to give up the baby that reminds her of a very terrifying event. She might end up hating the baby even if it's not his/her fault so it's better to send it where he can live a better life. Very rare but plausible cases are mothers with terminal disease, or bad health/mental conditions. They don't want to expose babies to whatever harm or orphan state they can reach. I think some cases are really justified, for the sake of the baby.
@Triple0 (1907)
• Australia
23 Dec 11
It depends on the circumstances. Based on the circumstances you describes, I reckon that's quite justifiable. It's like let your baby suffer along with you and offer your child to a better life. You can't exactly offer the best to your child when you're still young, have no money and your parents have abandoned you, I think it's the best to offer your child for adoption. Abortion is just to cruel, it's better to allow the baby to live and have a good life with a couple who is very supportive. Some couples can't even have kids due to infertility so would make a couple very happy to be given a child. I don't like the idea of giving your child away and then forget that you ever had them. That's a little cruel and selfish. I think it's better to return and visit your child once you have settled in your life and visit them once they're older, maybe they'll understand. I love watching the shows where kids are reunited with their biological parents, it's so touching and makes me cry. I love how hard the kids try to find their real parents and the Tv cast helps them. Truly touching.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
I think a mother can be justified. It's better for the child to be raised by someone who is willing to raise him or her. Someone who can support the child financially and provide the child proper education, a home and a mother and father.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
i think when someone gives up their loved one that is for the good of the baby. especially if the family or the mother has no capacity to give the child a better future. I do not think though that the parents can be sure themselves if the child will be given a good future by other people. only our parents, or mothers have genuine love and concern for us... it may be hard for others to love someone not of their own... and that is part of the risk. for me, selfish as it may seem, i would never give up my child and i will do my best and all that i can to try to give the child a a promising future by working hard, etc
@SIMPLYD (84506)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
In my opinion, it is really courageous of the mother to still give birth to her baby rather than having an abortion, despite her predicament. Because her parents have forsaken her and she has no job, giving up the baby for adoption is justifiable. At least, the baby can be assured of a better future , rather than keeping the baby , yet she cannot provide for the needs and in the future, the education.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
22 Dec 11
Why Not??? I think she is very well justified in doing that if her intentions are good... In the first place, if one knows that one can't raise a baby properly, they shouldn't go for baby.. There are many means available which can prevent pregnancy... Why did that mother do that??? Okay... Now, she has done it and lets not blame her anymore... If she finds that her baby can be brought up in a good family and the baby's future is secure, then why shouldn't she give the baby? It is not baby's fault that her mom is not rich... But if the baby is getting to stay with the rich ones, why should it be denied??? Moreover, that lady is gonna get money to start a new life... She can get a good place to live and give birth to another child... i know its tough to stay away for the whole life from one's own baby, but hey if the future is secure for everyone, why not do that????
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
I can feel how hurt she was when she decides to give her baby for adoption. Somehow I can understand her reason for doing it. Only the sad thing is that it would she has to forget the baby. Because for sure once she managed to get her life back on track she will always wonder about her baby.