How can I hold on to this long distance relationship

Philippines
December 22, 2011 4:44pm CST
My ex just broke me up three months ago and now I am in another relationship. Do you think it's too fast? I don't know. Before I kept on thinking about him and cried a million times but when I allow myself to love again and be loved with someone I feel much better and I don't think about him anymore. Tears is gone and I learn to smile. But the thing is, I have never been to a long distance relationship so I wonder if I can make this work or not. It is not easy. He's too far and sometimes there would be no call and no message in a day. It creates bad thoughts about our relationship. How can i hold on to this long distance relationship? Honestly, I'm tired of it and I want someone to hug and to talk to. I need a partner in life.
12 responses
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
I'm into long distance relationship. We can't even meet coz he's in a different country. I wonder if your BF now is just in the same country as yours? These types of relationship is really hard and trust is really important here. In fact, there are times I would thought of giving it up... see you're just new in that kind of relationship and you're already having bad thoughts about it. Just like what I feel sometimes. It depends on how both of you deeply loves each other. But there should be an assurance that he will not just waste your time waiting for him. And if you're tired of it and haven;t invested so much of your feelings to him - it's better to decide as early as possible.
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
He's far and we just knew each other. That's why I have some bad thoughts creeping on my mind but i challenge myself to think positive thoughts. I don't know if he's really true to me but I will take the risk to love and to trust. Life is just like that. We need to be hurt and to learn something. I know i have to expect that there is pitfall in this kind of relationship. But anyway, let us just see what i can do. I love him and i want to keep him in my heart.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
How did you know about each other? Is he a classmate before.. a co-worker at your previous work How did you met? Did you ever met? The best thing you can do is to really know whether he loves you truly or not. It's such a waste of time investing feelings to someone you aren't really sure whether true to you or not.
• Philippines
29 Dec 11
Yes, i have been thinking about that too.. It would be a waste of time..but I will take the risk. I have not met him. But he said he will be home next year and we will see each other and start dating..we just keep in touch through online. A friend of mine introduced him to me. And i don't know what will happen next. But crossing my fingers though that we will be liking each other.
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
Communication and Trust always plays a part. I've been in a long distance relationship for quite a while now. My hubby works abroad and we only see each other once a year. Even if we just talk/chat once a week it's okay, I'm okay. If I feel so lonely and missed him so much I'd write him a letter telling him what I feel, or anything that comes to my mind. He'd always appreciate it when He gets hold of my letters. I don't even tell him that I sent letters so he would surprised. I don't email them I send them through snail mail. Now, he sometimes send me letters in bulk because he just have 1 day off or sometimes none so his letters would pile up, he mails it when he has time. ;) It's just a matter of adjusting your schedules to his so that you could at least have a day in a week to date in a chat room :)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 11
what a great relationship.waiting once a year to see him/her just a big burden to me.but huge clap for you bcouse you manage hold that relationship.maybe both of you realy2 love each other and give fully trusty to both side.the most important thing in a relationship is trust and absolutely honest to our partner.
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
I am thinking of sending letters too through snail mail! I just hope he would appreciate it. It is too hard to chat with him because we have a big time difference. He also goes home once a year and I don't know if i am ready for that. But I really have to be ready on that. I know this would be very hard for me since its the first time that I have this kind of relationship. I just have to take risk and enjoy life.
@zaaaan (26)
3 Jan 12
just have trust on that guy..and make him trust you... thats the key.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
27 Dec 11
You haven't mentioned how you got to know your new boyfriend yet. Did you get to know him from a forum, facebook or other similar ways? If you haven't met him in person, I don't think it wise to accept him a special friend. But if he's someone you have met because he lives in the same city and you find him to be a good guy to be with although finally he has to go away to another city to work or something, you may reconsider having another relationship.
• Malaysia
26 Dec 11
yes!!i also have some experience in long distance relationship.just for sharing~ i studied abroad for 4 years and I meet my boyfriend 2nd year of my study at my country.our long distance relationship goes very well..we communicate using phone even we spent much money but its really worth it.Even just 40 minutes a day but its enough for us to get know well,talking about our days, or feeling.. but know i've finish my study and we still in long distance relationship..wonder why?.we live in different city and he is very busy with his job..looks hard but we get familiar with this..phone, sweet sms just make our days really happy..the most things is you should understand each other and be honest.share your days with your love one even through phone, be a good listener..that will make us appreciates our partner...
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
25 Dec 11
Long distance can really be painful I know but if you really love that person, you need to be strong and hold on to it. And whether you moving fast or not with this new relationship is up to you to decide. Don't let anyone tell you anything coz it's your life and your decisions, that's all i will say.
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
Now a days women change partner as fast as if they were just changing clothes to wear. Anyway that is your life, you have your own decision making so whatever the outcome be it positive or negative you have to admit it. In every relationship sincerity and honesty must prevail.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
23 Dec 11
I think when you guys have a chance you must have a real talk, the most you can, to show each other your feelings to learn what you are holding on to. I just had a long distance relationship once, I needed something physical to hold and that was his letters, he wrote a lot to me so I think when we go out of our way to show the other how much we care like he writing me so many times it was an encouragement.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
If you can't hold on to that relationship, you may need to find another boyfriend who lives near you. Someone you can talk to personally, someone you can hug whenever you like. I think you are very young and, frankly, a bit needy.
@dpk262006 (56163)
• Delhi, India
23 Dec 11
Hi! It would be wiser on your part to forget your past. If you feel like having a real partner then go for it and make sincere efforts in this direction. Long distance relationship has its own pitfalls and it is not a substitute for a real life relationship. All the best.
@Lhenni (1246)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
It's really hard to be in long-distance love affair Tess. Efforts and hard works were really a factor. But why not if you two can assure faithfulness and trust with each other. And be sure that your long-distance relationship won't last that long. You should give assurance that it's worth to wait. Happy Friday Tess!
@areskya (398)
• Indonesia
22 Dec 11
Hello, tess. Long distance relationship is not easy, that's perfectly right!!! I do it too, I know what you feel. You can't meet him as often as you want and can't go anywhere with him everyday. Are you ready for this consequence, aren't you? Simply, it's like doesn't have his body only has his heart for you. this relation also needs big trust and honesty cos if you don't, you'll feel as a sorrow. The key of long distance relation is big love, trust and good communication. If you are really love him and really want him with you, do it seriously and you'll work on it. But if you don't really want him and you feel that you can have other relation with other guy beside you, it is better to look for the new one. Before you love the far guy deeply in your heart and be so sad leave him. Choose the best one and enjoy your day without any bad feeling as now