20 year gap relationships

@early3 (60)
Philippines
December 26, 2011 4:27am CST
I met a guy 4 years ago who's a foreigner and a business man. We became friends. One time he told me he wanted to marry me. Until now he's pursuing me to be his wife. But he is 20 years older than me. After a year of being friends on the getting to know each other stage, I started thinking what will it be like to be his wife. And oh by the way he is divorced.
3 people like this
19 responses
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
As they say, "There's no perfect formula for love". But I think you need to think about it much. As you mentioned, he's divorced therefore there would be issues like his kids would be the same age as you. Anyhow, if you think that he is sincere and that you truly would like him to be your partner, then regardless what others would say or think, it's still up to you. Have a great MyLot experience ahead! Happy Holidays!
1 person likes this
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yeah you're right. I've been thinking about it and more or less I hope I can come up with a good decision. Basing on a lot of responses I received, it will be much easier for me. Thank you!
@urbandekay (18312)
26 Dec 11
I am 20 years older then my wife, I don't think it is a problem but I was not married before. Personally, I do not believe that a marriage to a divorced person is a marriage all the best urban
1 person likes this
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Okay you got a point there. I don't actually ask anything about that matter although sometimes he is informing me little by little as to the real reason why they divorced. Thanks!
@besweet (7227)
• Greece
26 Dec 11
How old is he? I believe that the age is not that important if you are in love with him but you need to make sure that you can be happy with him. I don't believe that love with first sight is important either, you can love him for who he is, his personality his humour etc. However, girls are usually flattered when a man insists and pursues them for so long because this makes them feel very special. And he is old enough and experienced to know how to treat girls. The decision is yours, you need to think of how do you see yourself 10 years from now. Can you dream your life with him and if you marry him will you be happy?
• India
26 Dec 11
distances never deepens gap, the one who is ready to follow his heart he can achieve every thing.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
I agree with you, we became friends for a year, we dated for 2 years and the year after that he proposed. So if ever I will decide marrying him I think at least I know him well enough. Thank you!
@maharlikah (1045)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
I guess age doesn't matter as long as you are comfortable with each other and happy together. It rhymes...oh I just noticed I became poetic this time. Well maybe because I feel sweet breeze in the air. :-) In continuation, for me whatever the age gap is you understand each other. And regarding his divorced status, I think there is a legal arrangement with him and the woman. But still it's up on your decision. Happy holiday!
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
30 Dec 11
Yes that s actually one of my consideration. Being comfortable and understanding with one another. Thanks
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 Dec 11
Age gap is not a matter to some extend but in case of productivity, it mat create problem. I am not to say that age gape means a 20 years old girl to marry a 40 years old guy.... maturity may arises as a problem here. Hope you have got the point friend. Have a nice time.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
30 Dec 11
Yes i understood what you meant. Thank you
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
I think age doesn't matter because love is the most important thing in a relationship not the money, the looks, age and everything. What is use of money if your not happy. What the use of being young to be your husband if your not happy?
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
You got a point there and what you said is true!
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
Fine- I am so much in love with a man of my dream and he is 20 yrs older than me. I wish he will ask me to marry him...I will never say No- no chance for having a second thought
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Welcome to the club! Now, just wait and see! He will!
@ajagogo (153)
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
There is nothing wrong with that.As you have said, he is divorced and you are single. In love, age doesn't matter, as long as you love each other. Just make sure you know him well before accepting his proposal.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yeah thanks for the advice! Will do that and hey I like your response! Its direct to the point.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
There really would be no problem at all, if there is a 20 year old gap. Anyway, it's the usual age gap - the guy is older than the girl, so i find no problem about it. What is important is you love him and you are compatible with one another.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Agree! But of course you have to evaluate everything first. 20 year gap is no joke. We might have some differences that we are not aware of yet. Thank you!
@swissheart (6486)
• Romania
26 Dec 11
age shouldn't be a problem as long as you have things in common...but you should consider dating a period. from what I read i understood you were friends and than he simply asked you to marry him...this seems pretty weird to me. I mean to get to that I think you need to get trough the dating stage as I said
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yes, on the getting to know each other stage we dated for 2 years before he proposed. Thanks!
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
Hi early3, There is nothing wrong with the age now. I have friends who got married with older man. Both single, never been married, no child in the past. The main thing in this kind of relationship is LOVE. If you truly love the guy then 20 years age gap is not an issue at all.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yes, I also have friends who have the same situation even though some did not succeed but on the contrary majority had a successful marriage. Thank you!
@hnaboro (113)
• Uganda
26 Dec 11
Take your time to learn his ways before saying yes. Due to age difference, your like and his may vary very greatly and with time you may not agree on many things. Spend more time together, get to know his habits, his hobbies etc. Good luck early3!
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Okay I've already done that but I think will try again knowing this man all the more. Thanks!
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
Age gap is not a problem in a relationship. Don't mind it if you have special feelings to your friend who is a foreigner and a businessman. You can't just base a person's age to whom you should love. Because love knows no age limit.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yeah you're correct! Love knows no barrier especially with age! Thanks!
• India
26 Dec 11
Older and wiser people will say that it is always better if the husband is older by at least 10 to 15 years from his wife. The advantages are many…physically, men stay potent for longer while women lose their desire much earlier, so a younger wife is ideal for both the partners. Also mentally, women mature faster than men so in case of same age marriages, there is too much row and fighting as the husband is still immature while the wife takes on more responsibilities. In case where the husband is older, it can be easier for the young wife as she will be pampered and taken care of and not expected to know and do everything. Also a gap of 20 years may seem a lot now but in 20 years time, it will be nothing. Just consider the fact; it may seem odd for a 25 yr old girl to marry a 45 yr old man but after 20 yrs, it does not seem odd anymore for a 45yr old woman to have a 65 yr old husband. If indeed you do marry him, take good care of him so that his health keeps good and you both get to enjoy a long happy married life.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Wow! I like your response! The pros and cons are clearly stated. It makes my decision easier. Thank you very much!
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
26 Dec 11
hello, You dont have to think about the age as long as you love the person. If you really love him then go for it. If he is a nice person and you like him then why not? right?. Age doesn't matter at all you should not care of that. And he actually divorced and you dont have to think about his ex wife.
@early3 (60)
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Yes, for 4years of being friends, dating and the proposal... the ex is out of the question. My only consolation is at least he admitted that he is divorced. Thanks!
• Philippines
28 Dec 11
Hello early3! your discussion catches my attention particularly the 20 years gap relationship. Well, i also have a 10 year relationship with my foreign boyfriend before, distance is not a hindrance to our relationship. But unfortunately, our story never end up as what everybody imagined! But I assure you, age gap is not the reason why... My friend, i think being married to a guy older than you is good, they adjust easily and I could say that they are more mature in handling things than those who are not. I guess it has something to do with their experience... Regarding his past, maybe you should ask first the reason why they end up divorce. I also had a friend who got married to his foreign boyfriend who is also divorced from his first marriage. So far, they are very happy and contented now, they have one child, and more in the making, i think. ;-) Good luck friend. happy new year!
@anil02 (3068)
• India
27 Dec 11
Hello, it is not matter of age. For marriage likes/dislikes and choice is important. Are you thinking like your friend? If you can live happy with your friend that I think noting is wrong in marriage with him. Age is not a important factor.
@cotruelove (1038)
• Denver, Colorado
27 Dec 11
All relationships depend on the individuals involved. Some are wonderful and some aren't. My daughter was married to a man 20 years her senior and lived with him for 8 years before the marriage. But when he retired and they moved to a small town and the roles were reversed where she became the primary bread winner, it came apart in less than a year. She was a big city girl and a small retirement town wasn't a place for them to be. I even tried to warn both of them in advance of their move, but of course, they got angry with me for discouraging them. Today, he is still friends with me, and my daughter has decided she is gay. I have no opinion about my daughter's gender choice but it is sad because he really loved her. He was expecting her to be older than her years and things that were new to her, were old to him. I have seen one successful marriage between extreme age differences but the younger person was the lady and a school teacher mature beyond her age. So it truly demands on the circumstances. Good luck!
• India
26 Dec 11
still loving like love song. hmmm