Mad then defend...

Jacksonville, Florida
December 28, 2011 5:47pm CST
This is weird but so many people do it, maybe even I do without realizing it. Someone will be fighting with someone else and they come to you to vent and ask your opinion. You give them your opinion and all of a sudden they defend that person that they were just so mad at. Have you ever had this happen to you? I feel like an idiot and ask myself why I even gave my opinion. Whats your thoughts?
2 people like this
11 responses
• India
29 Dec 11
situation like these are difficult to handel, i too some time fall into the same situation, and two of my best friends are fighting for some reason and the moment they turned to me i felt disghust because among them they put a uestion that nizam who is correct me & me and both for me are same, and that question is difficult to interpret i took the one side and others started yelling at me....hell..
• India
29 Dec 11
yes , the situation you have discussed is really difficult one the most difficult thing in this world is to choose between the loved one and bestfriends are like our loved ones. difficult one for you i would to know about the story more from you because its intresting to know that how you tackle these situations.
• India
30 Dec 11
yes jaiho, the sitaution becomes sometimes even worser and our so long friedship too fall prey to these situation. i am always wondering how to tackle all of them.
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
30 Dec 11
LOL, that made me chuckle. I can be one of those people who complain to a friend about the hubby and then when they say something negative, I then start defending him. I also have had friends that have vented and then turn around and defend the person they were complaining about. LOL, I think it is in our nature. What do you think.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
Ah hah! Your guilty too! Lol. I can more understand if the person takes it to extremes of bad mouthing the other person. But if they are just agreeing with you then theres no reason to defend all the time. Especially when its the same person that does it all the time it gets on my nerves sometimes...
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 12
I don't do it all of the time. There are other times where I won't stick up for him. He does not stick up for me at all. If I want to say something about him that is my choice. I guess I feel I have to defend him if someone else starts saying something bad. LOL.
@celticeagle (115084)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Dec 11
Yes, and i think it is normal. Even though you are mad at a person you still care about them and care about the way they are seen by others. I certainly would be defensive. I think it is normal. It does seem odd though doesn't it? But such is the psche of most people.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
Thats true. It just gets annoying when the same person does it a lot. I feel like saying dont ask me because your just going to defend them anyway!!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (115084)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Jan 12
.....and know when to pick the big arguments.
• India
29 Dec 11
simply, how peoples creates idiotic situation. i mean they are fighting with other person and they are for opinion and all of the sudden when you favours or oppose them they starts barking at you, yes it did happens with me lots of time,in schools, in collage and now in office. in offices the situation sometimes goes from bad to worse.and sometimes it gets even worser they it can becomes yours job threatening as one of the employed made a serious nod of complaing to the boss.
• India
29 Dec 11
yes jaiho, how much they sometimes annoy you, i mean for a moment its difficult to judge and at the same time, they started yelling at you.its was like the old quote if does not matters either apple falls onto the knife or knife fall onto the apples, its predecided that apple will have to cut.we are in the same situations sometimes. specially in collages.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Dec 11
hey nizam, you are right so many times i have been like feeling pissing off between. and yes great you have suggest a great of analogy between apple and knife, i am completely agree with you, if feel the same way.to whom to choose and to whom i do not.may be life you too came across the similar situations.
• Southend-On-Sea, England
31 Dec 11
I think it's that they've disagreed with what you've said rather than instantly jumping over to defend the person they were mad at. I hate it when people ask for your opinion then when you give it, they jump down your throat. Why ask if they don't want to hear it? I'm wondering if they are seeking collaborators rather than third-party opinions.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
I hate it. Its annoying especially when the same person does it over and over again! Its like why do you always ask? Just to defend them? Lol.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
29 Dec 11
Yes....my boss is that way! It's okay for her to talk about others but when you say something she defends who you are complaining about! Of course I feel like when I say black she says white etc.....no pleasing that woman!
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
Ugh! Its so annoying isnt it? Especially when its the same person that does it over and over again!
@AmbiePam (46151)
• United States
29 Dec 11
Yes! I have had that happen and seen it happen so many times! And it seems to happen a whole lot when it is a spouse/significant other talking about their other half. They complain to high heaven, but if we say what we think they turn around and defend them and get mad at us in the process.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
Yeah! Its like why did you even ask then? Crazy! It gets super annoying when the same person does it over and over again!
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
29 Dec 11
Yes that has happened to me, and I'm starting to realize that it's always better to keep my opinions very neutral when being included in a discussion with family or friends, so I don't offended either side. though I'm not gonna lie sometimes it's really heard not to share my brutally honest opinion because I'm normally a brutally honest person so it's not easy for me to reel my completely honest opinion in and be neutral instead but believe me it's best But like I said sometimes it's best not to choose sides or give opinions that are one sided neutral is the way to go, and there is an art to being neutral and giving opinions to friends and family without offending either side lol I'm becoming much better at it thank goodness! because I don't like being pulled into drama, and then being turned against after sharing my honest feelings on an issue, and left hurt and confused emotionally in the wake of some conversation that I didn't ask to be apart of in the first place Not a situation I want to be put in so keeping a neutral opinion has become my way of dealing with awkward conversations, and situations like that. Just don't ask me to be completely honest because I WILL LOL.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
Sorry it took so long to respond, I have a million things goin on. I agree that it is better to stay neutral in the situation. Some people wont stop if you give them that kind of answer but if they do let it go, neutral is great! It gets even more annoying when its the same person that constantly does it! Eventually it gets old, at least it does to me.
• United States
29 Dec 11
Yep that has happened to me. I should have just held my breath, or just skipped that discussion. It’s easy to get pulled into people’s lives and then when you learn the dynamics of their relationship, you want to just scream. I mean why complain if you don’t want to hear what they people have to say? We don’t have to be right, but we might have some insight to the problem and the op doesn’t want to even consider what we say.
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jan 12
I agree it is annoying sometimes. Especially when its the same person that does it every single time. I think we all do it sometimes but when you do that every time people no longer want to hear it. Or at least I dont.
@jugsjugs (13046)
29 Dec 11
I gave up giving my opinion and now i try to keep myself to myself, as that way people do not ask my opinion and i dont have to put up with people that i know are two faced to their other friends.I try to take a back seat when people are going on about other people, as i do not want to really know.
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Dec 11
I completely understand why you don't give an opinion anymore. I feel like doing the same thing!
@lajonez (478)
• Poland
29 Dec 11
It happens to me sometimes, when i'm mad on my sister and i'm asking him about what he is thinking about this what she did, and i might even call her stupid but if he'll go too foreward with his words then i'm defending my sister ;) I really think it might happen to everyone when is about people we love...
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Dec 11
Yeah I can understand it in that situation. Very true. Some people go too far and thats why you feel you have to defend them.