Do you have a problem reconciling with your past?

@Pose123 (21671)
Canada
January 4, 2012 1:24pm CST
Many people have a problem reconciling with their past. Before we can heal ourselves or come to terms with our emotions, it can often be helpful to reflect on our history and examine how we have become the person we are today. Closure can be difficult to reach if we are not conscious of the issues that we may still need to work through. By taking the time to sift through our emotional baggage, we can heal and free ourselves from conditioned reactions that are interfering with the way we live our life. Only when we make the choice to explore our inner self and come to terms with our past can we find find peace.
3 people like this
10 responses
• Mexico
7 Jan 12
Hi Pose: Thanks. These are really wise words. I must admit that some years ago I had difficulties to reconcile with my past. It's not that I have made big mistakes that have changed my life in a negative way but even with that I have to say that I am a very perfectionist person and that was bad because we need to have the right to be wrong and even if we always make some mistakes they are part of our learning. I feel now more conscious about that and this makes me happier. ALVARO
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi starsailover, Thank you for commenting and it's true that we have to allow ourselves to make mistakes. Often it is easier to forgive another than to forgive ourselves. Blessings.
• India
6 Jan 12
hey i have some incidents from past and i am still unable to judge what will i do either reconcile or move on? during the past one year i have been thinking about my ex girlfriend, as things did not work between us so we moved on, but still some where my minds things about her occassionaly, i do not know what is that love or some thing. may i have to reconcile or just move on. what she is thinking? does she is thinking the same way as i am thinking. so many question are bursting my mind and i am still thinking what next?
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi jaihobalodiji1, Thank you for sharing. Blessings.
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
hmmm.. Honestly I do have some problems before, but now all the pains are gone because of Time, so right now, it ain't a problem anymore :)
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi carlotay, Thank you for sharing and it's good that you are feeling better. Blessings.
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
5 Jan 12
I used to. Not anymore. Other than traumatic events happened in my childhood, I had reconciled with everything else. My brain did what it could, suppressing traumatic memories but the more I do inner work, the more they come to me either in dreams or clear memory. It was huge shock, I have to talk to experts to help me deal with them and I also get rid of unsupportive, judgmental people from my life as they are nothing but clutters.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi LittleMel, Thank you for sharing and I agree that sometimes we need professional help. Blessings.
@jaimz19 (236)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
I think closure is very important especially at the point of ending a relationship. Only then can I say that I'll have no regrets whatsoever in the future and it helps me be more confident with the decisions I've made in the past.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi jaimz19, Thank you for commentingand I agree. Blessings.
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 12
Sadly, I am still in therapy coming to terms with my past, I have long term therapy which has been ongoing since 2008, mainly caused by the abusive relationships which lasted 9 years. Both relationships have left a legacy which unfortunately is negative, I don't trust anyone, I prefer my own company and I don't like being around people. When I look back to the person I was to the person I am now I feel sad. I know you cannot change the past, I have had closure, closure on the relationships and I have no contact with either of them, but it's how they left me that is the problem and why I have a real problem reconciling with my past and letting it truly go. I have a lot of baggage and until I get rid of that, if I ever get rid of that, I cannot involve myself with anyone, friend or otherwise. But I have vowed to myself that I will never ever get into another relationship again. One valuable lesson I have learnt from my past is NEVER to take freedom for granted.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi wolfie, Thank you for responding.Your case seems to be quite severe and it's good to see that you are in therapy. Nine years is a long time to be in an abusive relationship and it has to be terrible to feel that you cannot trust anyone. Since you are in therapy, I can only wish you will and a complete recovery. Blessings.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
4 Jan 12
Mt parents were farmers, and my Mother taught school. They were religious people and good parents, but the 'Religious Faith' did not do it for me, and I opted out at age 23. I found Yoga, and Meditation, and a new door was opened when I learned to 'look within.' Looking back now, I have no complaints and am very healthy, happy, and ready for whatever my future brings.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
6 Jan 12
Hi barehugs, Thanks for sharing.I too had good parents but I'm afraid I kept the religion bit up for much of my life. I thought that there had to be something to it, and was determined to find the truth. Well, I did find it, but like you, not in religion. It was probably more difficult for me to make the clear break as you did, as I had so much baggage from all the years that I spent going to church. Blessings.
• United States
4 Jan 12
Hi Pse! I guess it depends on which day you ask me if I have problems reconciling with my past. Part of me is fine with everything in my past and part of me feels I made some horrible mistakes. I feel a great sense of loss, Pose. I feel like I lost so much in my life that I will never get back. I've had to kind of forget the losses and just keep moving forward. If I spend too much time thinking about the losses it makes me sad so I really try to live in the moment. I don't think I've reconciled. I've just accepted that there are things I can't change.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
6 Jan 12
Hi PointlessQuestions, Thank you for coming here and sharing those thoughts. We have all made mistakes my friend, and many of us feel a sense of loss as well. I remember thinking once that I had thrown away my life and knew that I could never get it back. You are right, it's a very sad thought. We must learn to forgive ourselves, which is often more difficult than forgiving another. You are a good person, remind yourself of that every day, it isn't wrong to do that, you've beatin up on yourself long enough. Each day is a new beginning, live in the now and know that you are in Divine order. Blessings.
@savypat (20248)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Funny you should bring this up. I do tapping, to help control pain and deal with emotional issues. Yesterday I tried a new series dealing with parents, at my age you wouldn't think I would have much left over from my parents, but response I got was so strong it was like an electric shock. I guess we are never to old to need to clear childhood emotions.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
6 Jan 12
Hi savypat, Thank you for sharing this and I think most of us still have emotional issues left over from our childhood, although it isn't always about parents. I sometimes wonder if we could live long enough to be rid of all of them? Blessings.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
4 Jan 12
This is so true...but actually doing it might be harder then it sounds. I for one have a hard time letting go...of people I have loved...situations that I haven't exactly done the right thing.....or things I have said. But if we could all do this our whole world would be more peaceful. Great advice for all of us!
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
7 Jan 12
Hi jillhill, I agree, many people find it very difficult to reconcile with their past. We must learn to forgive, whether that means forgiving ourselves or forgiving another. Many people have to seek professional help in getting rid of their 'ghosts', while others handle it on their own. Thank you for your response. Blessings.