Ever looked back at your life and see nothing changed much?

@chiyosan (30205)
Philippines
January 7, 2012 11:34pm CST
I feel why does all of the people i know seem to have lived a more fulfilling life than me? Why does it feel that their lives are more happy than mine... And how come i have to live a life like i did and feel troubles and be lonely like this? I was looking at some friends who were married, who were happy and who already have people to continue living for... I saw friends who have better work, or who have worthwhile profession whereas I am still stuck as to the same life i started living 8 years ago... Feels so stagnant, really. Why have all the other friends moved quickly with their life while my life has not moved forward a bit... Looking at their pictures, smiling, attending al the parties, meeting together, etc... why does it feel that they are happy and I am not.
4 people like this
11 responses
• United States
8 Jan 12
Because your not doing anything to make yourself happy.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i am trying to be happy. i just do not have the means, i do not have all the money they have to go on vacation. i feel stuck in my life and wish if i only had money to spend i would probably be happier. =(
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 12
I need money as well and trust me I don't have a clue where it will come from. I am going to look into going back to school though.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
haizz that is true, don't we all need money? goodluck with your school!
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
First, Thank you for starting this discussion. Second, I want to tell you that I felt the same stagnant feeling that you're having just the other day. Third, it is really depressing to realize that my life has not been improving for the last few years. Fourth, I didn't like the feeling so I pray for divine intervention. Fifth, the next thing I know I was attentively listening to a colleague who's sharing his teenage experience . When at age 13, he decides to runaway. While walking, he saw a family sleeping on the streets. A man, his wife & three kids (estimately age 4, 2 & 3 months). Since he doesn't know where to go, he decides to sit beside the mother. My colleague talk to the mother and ask about their condition. The mother told him that their life was not easy - no house, no decent clothes, no regular food, no daily water. They have always depend on the alms people are giving them. During their conversation, my colleague mentioned to her why he was there. It was this woman, who convince him to go back home & say sorry to his parents. The woman has also given him fare money. Lastly, the woman told her to start counting his blessings because only that way, he'll realize that life is not miserable afterall. It is only us who insisted to get too much from this life that makes life ugly & unhappy.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
thank you larish. its a wonderful story that you shared with us and i got your point... we are blessed, indeed. i am happy that even if i was hurt by the person i love, i have family, even if i dont have high paying job, i have work while others don't... maybe i should just look at life at a different perspective and all would be better.
@jkct02 (2859)
• Malaysia
8 Jan 12
Don't be discouraged by what you think you see. Every smiling face lies something not too pleasant that we don't get to see. Similarly, there may be other people who looks at you and feels that you are doing better than them. It is an endless comparison. We have different interpretation on what is good and what is not. For someone without a car, having a bicycle is a bless while a small car owner may be looking at his friend's big Mercedes... If you know what you want in life, think about it, make a plan, do it. Keep in mind that you have to be always realistic. Something is just out of our control and we just have to accept it, for example, my look. I always want to look like Tom Cruise but I know it is mission impossible for me, as I look more like Rowan Atkinson :( A good way to be more open to look at the world and our life is to do voluntary work to help those unfortunates, the old and the disables. Donate your blood at 3 months intervals. Always do good. After you have done all that, you will fell very different. You will look at things differently from before.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
thank you jkct02. i will try to do that... i will most definitely try to just think of the good things, that i am in a better position than other people and yes, though i may have wants that i am unable to meet... others are barely even able to meet their daily needs.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
8 Jan 12
By any chance were you looking at facebook profiles? Then stop! You know that they only appear to be happy there because they chose to post 'happy' moments. And for those that are genuinely successful, or genuinely happy, they came to a time in their life just like where you are now. They looked at their friends and saw that a lot are happy and successful. So, they did something about it to make their lives better. And not stagnant. So, take their cue. Do something about it too! Goodluck.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
thank you bounce! maybe that is what i should be doing. i am taking a step to do this, i will change my number and only give to those that are dear to me. i will save more and make sure that i would make myself better... sometimes i think its going to be really hard... but what the heck.. everything is hard anyway. i need to get to that place, and better even.
@neonmay25 (208)
• Philippines
13 Jan 12
You're not alone with this. I feel the same way too but I just do what I should suppose to do, just feel positive when unfortunate events struck. And I have compared myself as well to my friends and other colleagues, they have done pretty much with their lives and I felt like I was sooo behind but I still go on hoping my time would come. I think this is normal but I would respond to it on a positive way and just don't compare myself to others so often. Well that's their lives and I got mine and I know for sure things happen for a reason. I'm just thankful each day that I'm alive and enjoying the benefits of being human.:) hehe.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Hello there! thanks for your time in your response to the discussion. appreciate your sharing this to us... hope to see you around and have a happy mylotting day! Godbless you.
@dlpierce (489)
• United States
8 Jan 12
Only you have the power to control the outcome. Over the years I faced much of the same feelings until I realized it was all me. Avoid letting people tell you what to do, when to do it, and where to go. A positive look on life itself helps a great deal. Keep negative thoughts away by avoiding the ones who bring them to you.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Cheers to you! Thanks for your response in the discussion... appreciate what you shared here with us. see you around mylot, have a blessed day! =)
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
8 Jan 12
It does seem like that sometimes but changes are not obvious, unless you go back far enough. I think that there are just going to be a lot about life that is a slow and gradual change. Which is more than fine, as those who change for the sake of change, I am really not all that comfort with to say the very least. Of course, there are times where people change at a rabid rate but they also burn themselves out much faster. As I step back from a lot of things in life, I realize that there have been some rather moderate changes over the years and perhaps I am in the middle of a change. I think that when looking at a smaller, more closed off picture, you realize that not much in your life has changed. Which really is not necessarily a bad thing, although you can feel as if you're stuck in a rut at times. There are times when you're in a huge transitional period in your life when the frustration kicks in.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
17 Jan 13
Appreciate your response to the discussion, thank you very much and have a nice day! see you around the site! =P
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
If you know there is nothing change in your life and looks the same well it is only on your choice what your plan to change and need to achieve. Me i know that there is things need to change and it only depend on me what need to do.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
thanks for your response. i guess sometimes we ought to really assess what our life has become and think of what we can do about it. goodluck and thank you, godbless!
• United States
8 Jan 12
Trust me your not the only one to feel that way. I've felt that way for some time now & I'm married. Don't get me wrong I love my husband & he makes me happy, but we live hours away from both his family & my family. We have no friends here either so while my husband is at work I spend my days cooking & cleaning & doing laundry, but always alone. I miss my family. I miss being with them, seeing my nephews & niece growing up. The years go by faster & faster & I can't help but think that so much is passing me by. So you see your not alone. Everyone feels this way some times. Just remember that even though some people seem to be happy all the time, it may even look like their lives are perfect, but there not. Everyone feels like there is more they want to do or accomplish in their lives. Just remember that no one's life is perfect.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me robswife. i am feeling so much better now talking with all of you. i know somehow even across the globe that i am not alone.. we may be far but i know i have ears who would listen to me after all... and even though my life seems to be stuck on something i just need to take a step back and aim better... i wish you and your husband all the best.
@mayka123 (11050)
• India
8 Jan 12
This morning I woke up with the same feeling. Its not that I felt that everyone else was happier than me. It is just that why is my life taking a turn for the worse? Why are things just going wrong with me. Nothing is happening right. This were not like this before. Just hope things will change soon.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
hi there mayka... ihope your day goes better.. my day is going to be better, i guess. i hope it will actually. sometimes its just that nothing is happening so we are sad... it would really help if someone is with us, right? =(
• Philippines
8 Jan 12
I can relate to you, chiyosan. Recently, I've been feeling that too. It's not that there's nothing happening but the progress seems very slow on my part compared to the others. Although I am not really unhappy, I just feel dissatisfied with my accomplishments. Perhaps, that's one reason why I do not go to class reunions... Anyway, I'd be glad to read others responses to your discussion.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
hi eunique... thank you for your response. maybe i am not as lonely anymore. there are just days where i would fee so sad and so helpless and there are days that makes me feel that i am not really doing any less than most of the people i know. maybe you are right.. its about the accomplishments turning up really slow, hence the feeling of sadness.