Dying Soon.

Philippines
January 9, 2012 1:01am CST
I was actually thinking very hard if I wanted to post this. I did not have the guts to post this in facebook but I just thought that I did not know anybody personally in this site and it would be easier to hear their thoughts on this. I know that it will be soon because my body is getting weaker. I have made peace with all of my enemies and yes confessed when I was very very ill to a priest. You know what, after that very long confession, I felt lighter. I just hope when the time comes, It would not be so painful and hard like I was in the hospital. I'm sorry for being this morbid but this is the fact of life we all have to face. God Bless.
5 people like this
27 responses
@CarlHalling (3617)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 12
I remember you from past discussions here at My Lot, madonna143, and I'm so very sorry to read this. I am very sorry you have suffered, and I pray you suffer less. I'm happy though to know you've accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour in your heart. As a Christian myself this gives me joy, because all who do this will know Eternal Joy in Heaven with Jesus. But as I say, I'm so sorry for all you have been going through and are still going through. I have prayed for you.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Thank you very much for this. It has been six years since I last logged in here and it is only now that I am active again. I'm so sorry if my post have made you sad. I am very thankful to all of the people who wrote to me here and I hope they would never go through like what I am experiencing now. God bless you all.
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
9 Jan 12
Do you want to die?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I will look into this and try it out. Thank you very much.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Even If I wanted to, it is out of my hands because that decision is up to God. But honeslty yes I would love to go but without pain.
@BoboMama (319)
• India
9 Jan 12
strange question at a desperate situation like this..
1 person likes this
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I'm sad about your revelation *sigh! Well, just hold on to the Lord! He can move mountains, right?! Hmmmm... sorry, I don't want you to hope more errrrr! You should just to accept it freely to be able to go on until.... I'm sad... If I'm in your shoes now, I should want to be always in the church. I will pray hard... and hard... and hard until that I accepted my fate... I'm really sad... I'm praying for you friend! I can't say more...
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I am sure your mom doesn't want you to be in pain my friend. Just pray and pray. we will help you pray my friend , so you will not feel so much pain. Assure your mom, that even if your body will go, you will always be looking after her from above.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Prayers are all that I ask because I know that this is all that I can rely on. When I was doing well, my so called friends were all around now they are gone. Some of them did not even know how to pray. Its a good thing that most of my relatives prayed maybe that was the reason I am still here and some of the pain might have been alleviated. Thank you to all of you and God bless you all.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Hi again Madonna! I'm hoping that in this bulk of comments of us here you get sort of serenity ... Hoped too that we can get and somewhat alleviate your concerning stress... and I'm hoping again that your worries are now be a courage to face all your fear. Hoped we touched your heart too, like you did to all of us here! Hold on to HIM...
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 12
My heart and prayers are with you, for the pain you have to endure. I wish I were a millionaire or magician so I could help you in your need for better medical care or to cure you of whatever illness you have. My friend, I pray that God will continue to comfort you until he calls you home. Don't be afraid to let go, for my God will take away all the pain and suffering you have endured in this life time. He is a forgiving Father who loves you unconditionally with all of your faults and disappoints. He hears your fears and worries. Trust Him for he will never forsake you. I know losing a child is the worst fear any parent can endure. I too, am a mother of four and each day I continue to take my children into prayer for guidance and safety. I feel so much for your Mother's pain. It brings tears to my eyes for I can't imagine losing any of my children, its the worst nightmare for any parent. I will keep you and your mother in prayer, please have faith and be strong at heart for your Mother. Reassure her that you will be at a better place and that you will see her again soon in Heaven. My friend, as I mentioned don't be afraid to let go for He is waiting to hold and comfort you. May God continue to be with you....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you very much Alex. It is really hard especially at times like this where you feel so alone. Problems pouring in left and right while scared of what might come when I go to sleep or wake up. I hope I can face this until then, all I can do is live day by day and hope for the best. God bless you all.
• United States
10 Jan 12
You know sometimes we think we're fighting this battle alone, but honestly our parents and family are also praying faithfully for a miracle or at least to ease your pain. You aren't alone, God is with you, put all your troubles and worries in God's hand and let Him direct your path. Don't lose hope for He knows what is instored for you and your Mother. Yes, live day by day but enjoy it with a smile. Don't feel its the end of the world for their is so much ahead of you. Keep the faith and never lose sight that everyone is praying for you. May God continue to comfort you and your loved ones.
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Thank you very much. I just spoke to my mom just now and told her that I have had so many responses from people around the world in this discussion. I asked her to read all of your discussions so she may also feel some alleviation as I did. Thank you all and may God bless all of you!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Hi madonna, I don't know you story but maybe you can at least try to be optimistic on whatever condition you have. You have to go to the doctor to help you. Don't wait for that time, you may still longer than what you expect.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you sir and I will try to look in to your suggestion. All I have with me now is hope and the prayers of people. God bless you all kind people all over the world.
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you so much. I have to admit it is quite hard to be always optimistic especially when I am feeling bad in some days. May God reward all of you with more blessings to come. Thank you all for being so kind to me. God bless you all
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Oh I am so sorry to know all these things from both of you. Thanks madonna for telling me what you've gone through and still going through. I have no idea you have been in such situation. And happy to know that you have survived. Still, I would advise you not to think about dying. Be optimistic. You have managed to endure all those pain. Just try to gain more weight and be back to normal. Believe in God and continue your medications if the doctor still requires you to take meds. I will include you in my prayers.
1 person likes this
@sabado_dc (1001)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Oh God.... Why is it that you are dying? Please don't die, you are still young.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you for your response.
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Thank you very much for your kind thoughts for my mom. I know that she can pass all of these because she is a strong woman. I do hope that she will recover soon and just think about it as a blessing that I am already free from all of this. I hope that I would be accepted inside HIS gates when the time comes. God bless!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
9 Jan 12
That is sad to hear, but I do believe there is a better place, you are very brave, my thoughts are with you....
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you very much. It is sometimes hard to be brave and show face to others when you are in this situation. I am trying my best though.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
9 Jan 12
I have much admiration for you, my thoughts are with you...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
I am not at all to be admired because I am very scared to my wits about my situation. As much as possible I just try to keep myself busy and try not to think about it too much because I know it would not do me any good. Thank you though. God Bless.
11 Jan 12
Madonna, That was a very brave post! If you truly believe in prayer - then pray for a miracle! God loves us all, and if the miracle you want doesn't happen - then maybe there is another work for you to do somewhere else. Just remember this - where there's life there's hope. Take extra care of yourself - and try to forgive and love yourself too. MC
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
As of now, all I can say is that I am very afraid and confused on what the near future is in store for me. My recent post will explain all of what I am saying now. I hope you can read it so you may have a better and clearer idea of whats going on.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
you should not give up. God can extend your life if you would ask Him. i think better surrender your life to the Lord. I mean pray a prayer of acceptance. although i know you believe in God. but i do know that the prayer of acceptance of Our Lord Jesus would make a big difference. And maybe God has other plans than for you to die soon. pray like God i accept you as my Lord and Kind and Saviour and forgive all of my sins in the name of Jesus. miracles can happen. i am sure it can happen to you. without any doubt. i had so many signs from God given to me before. it was extraordinary signs. i had some first hand experience of God giving some signs also. like i had asked if it is his will for me to be healed that he will give me a sign, about a verse in the bible about healing and that someone i don't know would read that verse in front of me. and some one did. i am the one who told God when i should experience that sign. and it happened on the exact time i asked HIm to. and so he confirmed that His will is to heal people.
1 person likes this
@wolveren (1586)
• Cebu, Philippines
9 Jan 12
This is very awkward for me. But I do wish you well. There is a time for everyone, but since you think your time is near and it is inevitable. You may do well to make do with what is left. Remember, now that you are at the edge, you must admit that this is the time that your life is at the most of value. Be with your loved ones as much as possible. Do something good till your last words. No one can readily accept the end instantly. But if you have done well (no matter how little) even with the short period of time you have left, then perhaps it can bring some fulfillment in life. Again, I wish you well, in fact I wish you would get well.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you. I am just living day by day and trying to cope up all the trials that are pouring. I do hope that people here would listen to make themselves ready for themselves if ever this happened to them to try to be financially prepared for medical bills. It is so hard to face financial problems while your in this situation so please secure yourselves so you would not be like me. Have a nice day and God Bless you all.
@wolveren (1586)
• Cebu, Philippines
11 Jan 12
You're much welcome.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
10 Jan 12
I'm really sorry to hear this. If you've gone through so much pain, then trust that you're going to a better place. This world can so much sometimes, and our frail bodies sometimes can't take all the stress and struggles we face. God Bless you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
This body is truly so frail and temporal. All these struggles I hope to bear until the time comes. Nobody deserves to die like this. I offer all of these pains to the people with the same affliction as I have. May they be in God's grace when their time also comes.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
10 Jan 12
Dear Madonna I know this is the first time we meet here at MyLot. I am not going to express sympathies or sorrows here. I have my own bunch of those and I have willingly added one more to it - You. I never read this discussion until now - after participating on SimplyDs Discussion (Prayers for you). You know, (I know you dont) But I am sensitive and emotional. Dont go by that Snowman Avatar of mine, I know it looks colder, but within it I have a Heart that cries for my friends, people around me, and specially when I find myself as a Helpless Person. Never mind. I dont know much, but I make a Promise to you... You will always be held close to my heart. And in case you read this, please do visit my next discussion (tomorrow) wherein I will show you some proof that I will never let go of you... ever. Like you, I too know one fact - I too live by the moment and know that The memories and times we spend together, are the ones that see us through times when we are up or even down. Never lose on Hope. Warm and Prayers for you to live the best you can - Every Moment.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
Thank you for your kind words. Honestly I am so afraid and confused of everything. Expecting that I might go blind and my dementia getting worse. I still have that little hope inside me that I may live a bit longer without too much pain. I leave it to God and my medicines to work. God Bless you.
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Hi,,,sorry to hear what is the problem of yours, i suggest to you that if you ask forgiveness you can go directly to God as possible in your day and time because Jesus is the only way to Heaven,and all our prayers and need will go directly to Him and because He is the only mediator to God the Father.... Make sure that your life is saved and accepted Jesus as your Lord and savior so one day you will in God in Heaven for sure.. I hope that and wish more days to live and always have faith in True God in Heaven..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thank you. I have accepted Jesus as my savior. I hope and pray that it would not be so painful when my time comes. God bless you all.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
I hope so sure and you do not need to worry where you go,because if you true Jesus accepted you will go to Heaven and yes life is painful and we are to accept pray that.thanks.
• India
11 Jan 12
hey, but you have not tell what is the reason of dying. is it because of enemies or some illness.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
You can read my recent post for you to understand the real situation I am in now. Thanks and God bless.
@srik11 (482)
• India
9 Jan 12
I have no words to say. But i wish you don't have regrets and also accomplish all that you want. It is sad to know about something like this. I wish that one of those miracles will occur and change your life.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Honestly I have my regrets but slowly I am trying to make the best out of things. I am trying to do things right as long as I can and to the best I can. I also do hope that some more miracles could happen since nothing is impossible with God.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
YOu aer strong then, you know how to take it head on. I just hope you can go through this and won't die. I am a mother and i can feel what your mother can feel, the lose of a child is something big... and just imagining it is already painful. You should make the best of your life..and do take care more...kiss your parents more..your brothers or your sisters...i am at lost of words honestly. I could give you hugs if you want to.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Maybe the thing is that it would be better that if I will be in great pain again, it would be better that my mom would not be here in the country so that she would not see me suffer. As much as I would like her to be by my side when that time comes, I hope I can be strong and not to ask her to be with me. God bless.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
10 Jan 12
Hi, Madonna, first of all I'm so sorry to hear about your illness and the challenges that you're facing. I know it isn't easy for you, and for your family. I wish I knew what to say, but to be honest I'm speechless. So I'm simply wishing you best wishes, and be rest assured that G-d is taking care of you already, through the hands of doctors, through the kind words of the posters here that I've read, and through your church. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings to you
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
Thank you very much masihi for your kindness. I just hope that I can bear all of this when the time comes. I decided to open up to all of you here since I personally don't know any here, I can express my feeling more freely. I am very touched and I hope when you get to encounter anybody with the same situation as I am personally, you would treat them the same as this. God bless all of you.
@Triple0 (1904)
• Australia
10 Jan 12
This was very sudden! I'm so sorry about your difficulties right now battling your illness. Sometimes life is so unfair and you just ask yourself, why? But life is unpredictable and you have no idea what is installed for you in the future. I'm so amazed at how strong and confident you are. Don't let it take you down from enjoying the pleasures of life. Just don't lose that small bit of hope. God bless you ...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
This is such a hard battle and I hope I can get through it without breaking. I still have that small bit of hope as you say but I also am facing the harsh reality that it will be soon that I have to face the harder challenges.
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Hi there friend thank you for adding me! I stumble to this discussion after look at your profile and intrigued and hurriedly read the discussion, I'm shocked and sad to know your ordeal in life. There will always be a time when we lose hope and accept what will happen to us but please be strong and cherish your life my friend even though your body is starting to succumb due to your illness you have courageously confessed and made peace with your enemies and lifted some of the burden in your life.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Your most welcome pepai. I draw my strength from my mother and just remember her love for me. Its whats keeping me alive I think. I just hope I can follow her examples and the goodness of her heart. May the Lord ease her pain when my time comes. I hope she knows that finally all of these will now and and I hope to be with the creator and with my grandparents whom I also love dearly.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
9 Jan 12
I read your post and I can't control my tears. You are a strong man. I hope there will be a miracle. Your words have touched me and I am seeing life more positively. Thank you for the post. I know it must be very difficult for you. Your bravery is inspiring. My best wishes for you, my friend.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Thank you that something positive came out of this. You all should count your blessings because you really do not know how lucky you are despite the challenges in life that befall you. Try your best to give your love to people so that you may receive the love of God in return. God bless.