I choose to live a miserable life!

Life as you choose it to be - Miserable life of your choosing
@bounce58 (17550)
Canada
January 9, 2012 11:50pm CST
Sometimes when all the troubles I have in my life overwhelm me, I get down on myself, and I feel depressed. I feel helpless and I forget that I was the one who chose to live this kind of life. Every big and little decision I had through out my life led me to this point, however miserable it is. I just forget. I just wish sometimes I could, or I had change my mind. Do you ever feel the same?
4 people like this
22 responses
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I have at times. Mainly over financial situations though. I get aggravated because it seems sometimes that I have had to struggle and suffer for every little thing...even things that should be simple. There are some things that I can trace to choice but there are also life's little surprises...sometimes good, sometimes bad, that have contributed to where I am and the life I lead. One of my survival skills has been optimism though. I have to see the good side to continue on. I have to tell myself that there are people out there that are suffering far more than what I will ever know. Sometimes when I think about that and see how things could've been for me if I hadn't did this or that...it gives me strength. Bounce, if you don't mind my asking, what is it that you are miserable about? Is it your job that brings you misery? You can always tell me Jen...you are being too nosy and I don't want to say. I wouldn't be offended at all. Part of being friends is to be able to tell people that without the worry that they will not be your friend anymore. I just can't help but ask.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Thanks Jen. And I appreciate you asking. It tells me that your curiosity goes beyond this discussion. But it's a bit hard to let it out in the open just yet. Even with the anonymity we have here on myLot. I'm not ready yet. Maybe soon, but thanks. I like that you call optimism as a survival skill. Maybe that's one I should learn first. I was born a pessimist, so this would take some learning.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
15 Jan 12
That's ok bounce..it sounds very emotional and those things can be hard to share. @binggaling....I miss HWG horribly too. I do hope that she comes back soon. Optimism can be contagious and I try to spread it as much as I can. It's amazing how uplifting a smile can be to someone that is down and out. I can use that random smile sometimes myself..lol.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
OK, I admit it, I miss HWG too!
@katsmeow1213 (28707)
• United States
10 Jan 12
At least you recognize that your misery is your own doing. I realize it too, most of the time. I still have those moments where I'm down on myself and wonder what I ever did so wrong to deserve such things.. but like you said, I made the choices that led to these situations. People who can't recognize that drive me absolutely insane. They somehow think the world owes them for no good reaason and that they don't deserve the bad things that happen to them when they've done absolutely nothing to deserve good things. I know someone like this very well, and the behaviors and attitude are absolutely shocking.
2 people like this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I hate it when people expect things to be laid in their lap without reason too. I know some people that thinks the world and everybody in it owes them. I think it is admirable that we take responsibility for our choices. It shows good character to be able to say it was me. I know that life has a lot of little surprises but I think it is what we do with them that matters.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Hi kat, hi Jen. I think this is also the reason I hate people with a sense of entitlement. While I recognize my own misery (and the choices I made that led me to this situation), there are just others that still think that the world owes them something, everything. Thanks.
@much2say (33466)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I can get sad about things, but I don't often get depressed. If anything, I get angry - even at myself. I think this anger drives me to be productive (in order to forget) and then that busy-ness makes the sad part go away faster. Not that I ever completely forget though. I don't remember the exact quote - but I always kept in mind about being responsible for your own actions - and to not sweat the stuff that is out of your control. Yes, my decisions are my decisions, but the outcome isn't always as planned - beit good or bad. I can choose to make the most of it, or choose to let it get me down. These days, I'm trying to convince myself that I have the right to be down - and it's ok to let others know I'm down if I'm really down . . . can't always be this positive person I portray myself to be on the outside.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Sometimes I feel that way too. Although I don't portra myself as a positive person, I feel that I have the right to feel down, when I am really down. Thus this discussion came about. But I like that you can focus your anger. I wish I'd have a clear mind too to focus mine. Thanks.
• United States
10 Jan 12
No I felt worse. I assumed I Never deserved to be happy Ever. I thought since I Still had feelings it mean I was evil And that Every good thing that Ever happened to me Was a Huge mistake. Like I had to steal happiness. But Everything has changed now How? First I had a guy see something in me that he liked, Don't ask me what. But it was fleeting. Second, I turned to a dear friend who told me I do have worth and I do deserve happiness and I have the right to feel. Then I met my guy who really loves the new me! I do not believe you choose to live a miserable life. I think miserable things have happened. You do not deserve this! You are a nice man and a good father.You have worth and you have a good friend in me. There will always be bad things that happen but you are not alone! YOu can change your life!
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
10 Jan 12
Wonderful response, SarahRuthBeth
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 12
Thanks. I hope Bounce can Really hear it!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
10 Jan 12
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
11 Jan 12
I hear you. I do the same thing. The depression just takes over and then I feel down and helpless. But, our lives don't need to be miserable. I think sometimes we choose to be miserable or not happy. And this is hard to over come somedays.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
Thanks for getting 'it'! I know we could always choose to be happy if we want to. Or choose to be not miserable. But the hardest part as always is making that choice. Specially when the feeling of hopelessness overwhelms you. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 12
You are very welcome. I wasn't quite sure if I had it or not, but thought maybe I did. That feeling of hopelessness can be overwhelming at times. If you ever need to chat, just message me.
@parascevi (314)
• Greece
10 Jan 12
I know people who have regret for decisions they made in the past and they feel exactly like you. I try do give them strength to keep up with their lives and not thinking so negative.You never know how things might have been.Might have been worse or even better, we will never now. The sure is to think ahead and look the future. The past has gone and we could do nothing about that.But we can change the future.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Hello parascevi. You are so right that we should just look ahead to the future, as the past is the past. Even if it led to a life we don't like, we can't do anything about it anymore. But we can certainly make the future. Thanks.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
10 Jan 12
hey dear we all are human being and prone to error.No one is right all the time we all tend to do mistakes so forgive yourself and try to start new fresh life.Good luck!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Hi piya84. Thanks for the advice. I think I'm still not at that place where I can forgive myself for all the past mistakes I've made. Maybe soon. And thanks for dropping by.
@angelako (280)
• Italy
10 Jan 12
Me i dont,I feel that life is beautiful sowhy not waste it.Whatever you are experiencing right now just think about that life is beautiful and interesting so lets be happy.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
15 Jan 12
Hello angelako. I know that life can be beautiful if we choose it to be. Sometimes we just scr*w it up with the choices we make. And that's what gets me down. Thanks for dropping by.
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
I do that sometimes - wallow in misery. But, I don't let my self stay there long enough. Somehow, after some time, things begin to be better again. I do believe that misery is a part of life, but I try to not dwell on it much. I hope that whatever decisions you make will be good.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
13 Jan 12
So far (as I am trying to respond to all the responses here slowly), you've given the most hopeful one (response) yet. That even though I too wallow, there's a sense that it gets better sometimes. Thanks glorycaam!
@SIMPLYD (73807)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
I avoid getting depressed. I fight it , as much as i can, if there's one coming. Maybe i love myself so much , because i want me to be just always happy. When i have a problem, i share it with a friend, so it can get off my chest and be given an advise. I confront a person if he/she is the problem,. In addition, i turn to praying and crying . After that , the heavy load seems lighter and i am back in my fighting form. My friend, try to combat the feeling of depression. Be with your friends or family. Be with happy people. Life is beautiful, despite its problems.
@SIMPLYD (73807)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
Oh really, i would love that bing! I would like to meet my friends in person as well as show them around our place. I would like to help them unload whatever it is that overwhelms them, in my own little way. That would be a nice idea indeed bing. I hope it materializes.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
Thanks for the advice SIMPLYD, but I don't think crying is appropriate for me. I'll just turn into a big baby if I did. You should binggaling! And if you did meet up with SIMPLYD, don't forget to share some pictures. Or meet his hubby if he's not working. And let her tell you about her doctor-to-be daughter. Or watch telenovelas with her.
@SIMPLYD (73807)
• Philippines
13 Jan 12
Bounce, men can also cry. But not when others are around of course. IT could be with a partner present , to comfort him or it could be in the confines of his bedroom. Crying relieves one of the heavy load inside of us. Bing, someday we can meet one another too. Manila is a nice meeting place.
@MsTickle (24752)
• Australia
18 Jan 12
I used to. I would wallow daily in my misery and every day was the same. I knew I had to do something but when I would try, I questioned my choices. I finally did something about it only to find that nothing had changed, in fact, things became worse. Meanwhile, I made a couple of good decisions and things began to change, I began to change. Something wonderful happened by way of a small inheritance and I grabbed this opportunity and ran with it and I am now happier and more content than I have ever been. I'm not saying my life is perfect but I'm constantly getting better-maybe even a little bit every day. If you want things to change, you must change.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
18 Jan 12
I know that I must change. I know that I'd have to do something drastic to change everything, including my perspective. Maybe jog my mindset into a happier one. Hopefully I get to that place. I hope that the next few decisions I make are good ones. Thanks MsTickle.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24752)
• Australia
18 Jan 12
It doesn't happen overnight my friend. It cannot be forced. You just have to want to change enough for it to happen of it's own accord. I believe in you because I think you are in the right place to make some small decisions and choices that are right for you. Believe in yourself.
@GreenMoo (11842)
10 Jan 12
There's times when I sort of imobilise myself with negative thinking. It's pointless because it does not get me anywhere or improve things one little bit. By keeping moving we can move on. Yes every decision we make leads us to where we are now, and sometimes that's not a happy place. But each decision also brings us positive things, and that's what it's really easy to forget when you're down in the dumps. Chin up my friend!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
10 Jan 12
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
14 Jan 12
I get that overwhelming feeling sometimes. When I can't really move or go on because of all the negativity that surrounds me. But I guess you're also right that the positive things we also tend to forget. Maybe I should just focus on them. Thanks.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
Sigh! I feel heavy reading this... Yes I do feel the same. I know how you feel. We may have different life. But I know the feeling. Well I do hope we can always find something good in life so we can forget feeling depressed even for a while.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
14 Jan 12
Sorry to have made you feel 'heavy'. I'm just in a funk right now and a lot of thoughts creep in when I'm in this mood. And the hardest thing is to find that 'something' to get me out of it, and maybe feel a little better. Thanks enelym001.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
As for me now, I am up for something. I am having small plans which makes me kinda busy these days. But it was really a good thing that making myself busy with things I am looking forward to makes me forget about the depression I was feeling the past months.
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
10 Jan 12
yes. and since then I am more careful of my thoughts and actions I've learned to live within my means and be happy with what I have since then life is never miserable to me, because I am happy within I never make good money all my life, in fact the last 5 yrs debts almost killed me and I didn't even cause this debt it's just taken under my name I have health problems that requires me to take time off to nourish myself back to health and just when someone said there is help, I found that there isn't supportive friends said I have to fight for the help I am entitled to get but I know it will be at the expense of my health. so I choose not to. Ironic isn't it. you have to sacrifice health for getting help to recover it LOL and without health who can work or even keep a job? still yes I am luckier than most people, because there are worse situations. You have no idea how much more miserable these people's lives are I'm sure you too are still luckier than they are
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
13 Jan 12
I know I am luckier than a lot of people. I know that whatever I go through, it doesn't compare to what a lot of people go through everyday. That's why I've resigned to accepting my choice. I know that you're in a much better place now LittleMel. Someday I wish I get to that place too. And I hope that then it would be my choice too. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
13 Jan 12
you will be fine just let go of what is not necessary, too high of expectations
@Archaiwy (599)
• China
11 Jan 12
Life is like a mixture full of happiness,fortunes,sadness,miserable things or dooms.We just look at it as it is.When happiness comes,we shouldn't be so happy while we shouldn't be execrative when sadness falls.evey time we should be calm.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Hello Archaiwy. Life is indeed a mixture of everything. The trick is how to keep an even keel, and not to be swayed too much. Specially on the downside. Thanks.
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
As they say, the littlest decision may greatly affect your life. No matter how small the "deal" may seem to be, it could invariably have a huge effect. Nothing is certain actually. All that we need to do is just to be really careful with all the decisions that we are going to undertake.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Hello sophiecheer. I'm aware that every littlest decision we make affects us down the road. And sometimes we can only wish that hindsight is 20/20, as most of the time we're caught unaware of how awful some decisions we make. Thanks.
@Hatley (154578)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Jan 12
hi bounce but cannot you change things starting with what tees you off the most? I did not choose to come to this tiresome retirement center but since we were rendered homeless and we were broke we had no other choice so here I am in this retirement home. So I chose to\ make the best of it and try each day to be happy here.I feel that if its our turn to be able to get back into an apt it will happen so I pray and keep happy.why not take stock of what you do have bounce that you love ,as that might make you feel a bit better.I do not think I have felt like you though.I hope you can find some things to make your life happy again
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
16 Jan 12
Thanks Hatley. I've actually taken stock of everything. Specially after reading the first few responses here. There are still things that are in my control, that I could change. Maybe I would start with those. And slowly work my way back to a sense of being happy.
@Galena (9124)
10 Jan 12
depression is not a choice. it's a medical condition. you can no more decide to have depression than you can decide to have diabetes. if you feel sad, don't blame yourself or believe it to be a flaw in your personality or outlook on life. if you do have depression, it's not your fault. you can try and manage it with a healthy diet and regular exercise, which CAN in some cases help to regulate the chemical balance of the body. when you have depression, you have an inbalance of body chemistry. part of your body isn't working properly, and this results in the inbalance. so it is not a personality flaw or a choice. you can't just decide to start producing the right levels of chemicals inside your body. try diet and exercise, and this can help to regulate the balance. if this proves innefective you may need to take medication under supervision of your doctor. if this is the case, do not feel ashamed. it is no different to a diabetic needing insulin.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
14 Jan 12
Thanks Galena. I'm still in that place just before deciding or accepting that this is actually depression that I am in. Which means I could still force myself out of this funk if I willed it. Hopefully tomorrow is good day.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
10 Jan 12
Got news for you, everybody is where there are because of the decisions they made. What makes any one happy is to be at peace with the decision and the result. If you can't, the make a decision to lead a happy life with what you've got and what you can get and work on it. That should make you happy. Happiness is, after all, a state of mind. That is what Indian mysticism says. And oh yes! been there and through that.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
13 Jan 12
Hi webearn99. No, I'm not contesting that all my decisions has led me to this state. In fact, I'm accepting it. There are just days when I wish I had changed. Thanks. And I hope that one day I could also say 'been there and through that'!
@srik11 (483)
• India
10 Jan 12
it is natural for us to blame ourselves for all the miserable things that happen in our life. but one must realise that the key to derive happiness is to firstly be happy. one must never lose optimism. i hope you will come out of your perils with a smile on your face.
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
Hello srik11. Thanks for the input. I know that we should learn to accept, and learn to be happy. Sometimes, it's just difficult to choose to 'be happy'. Specially when all things point to being miserable.