Maybe I should really think about choosing my words carefully

United States
January 13, 2012 4:53pm CST
So I started a discussion with the title "I'm tired of living at home" and I guess some people thought that I was living at home. It kind of hurt that someone wrote "don't you think your mother is tired of taking care of you". Which shouldn't have been said because no one has any idea what exactly is going on in my house. Yes my mother does take care of me by cooking and washing my clothes and I DO appreciate that. But it's not like I'm an ungrateful brat that is just sitting around doing nothing. I work two part time jobs and I just graduate from college. I'm on my way to graduate school and I'm applying for full time jobs and maybe another part time job for the time being. Since my mother is not able to work right now my paychecks go to the bills and to helpinb buy clothes for my siblings and I have my dog to take care of as well. I just thought I should explain what I meant about tired of living at home. What I mean by that is that I want to have the EXPERIENCE of being able to LIVE by myself and have everything to do by myself. Even though I do appreciate my mother and I love everything that she's done (she did bring me to this world after all), I would like to EXPERIENCE living alone and taking care of my own home just like she has. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Or is there?
1 person likes this
12 responses
• United States
13 Jan 12
Im 26 and still live at home so no i dont feel there is anything wrong with still living at home and helping your parents out for anytime. I pay my own bills and by groceries and stuff for my house i also do the laundry and clean around the house so helping out my parents is a good thing and i do want to be on my own and im also tired of living at home and living under my parents roof but this year might end taht because me and the boyfriend would like to move out and be on our own soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 12
Congratulations on taking that next big step. I don't think it's wrong either I guess I just need to watch how I say things now. I just want to be able to experience living on my own.
@Bamboee (645)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Jan 12
Well there is nothing wrong in wanting to live by yourself and try to independently take care of yourself and build a home for yourself. I know everyone of us come to that stage where we want to be independent and be by ourselves and live BIG!. I hope that you get to experience that stage, but before you do anything do think once about your mother, maybe you dont need her anymore because you are capable of taking care of yourself. She has done a good job of raising you that way, she might be really proud of you. But think once, maybe she needs you.. :) So try to find a solution that serves both ways.. That you get to live your dream and experience all of it!! at the same time, you be there for your mother, who is so loving and kind !! Best of luck, Cheers!
• United States
14 Jan 12
Hi Bamboee I'm glad that you are not jumping to conclusions that I just want to leave my mother or that I don't do anything around the house to help her. But that's why I'm searching for a full time job as well. I want to find a full time job that will cover all of my expenses as well as to help her out be cause for now she's not working. I'm the one that's working two part time jobs to help pay the bills, but even that it not enough. And she does want me to move out and experience what it's like to live on my own as well but I know that even after I move out and get my own place I will still be visiting her every week and especially helping her out financially. Happy Mylotting!
@Bamboee (645)
• United Arab Emirates
15 Jan 12
I can make out your drive for living your own life and proving to your own self that you can do it.. I am glad that you will visit her and take care of her financially.. God will surely bless you every step of the way, that your doing all that you can to make sure your mother is in comfort, and that it self is a very great achievement. I wish you a very best of luck in life.. :) God bless!!
• United States
20 Jan 12
Thanks a lot Bamboee, that means a lot to me. But it's only the duty of the daughter/son to take care of their parents. God bless you too and Happy Mylotting!
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
There is definitely nothing wrong with wanting to experience living by yourself. I have been wanting to do that, too. But in these economic times, I need to be practical. It saves me a lot of money if I'm living at home and if I save a lot of money, I can give a lot to my mother. Regarding what happened to you, I guess people really just misunderstand things a lot of times. If they misunderstands, of course, their reaction would be different from those who understands. And most of the time, their reaction is not very pleasant. Maybe you weren't able to explain clearly in your discussion what you really meant. Or probably, the person who said those things did not entirely read your discussion and did not even try to understand you.
• United States
20 Jan 12
Hi secretbear! Thanks for the kind words. That's exactly why I'm staying at home and why it's easier. I can save money and pay off as much as I can for my student loans. I can also give her as much money as I can to help her out around the house. Just today I was able to give her some money to buy some necessities around the house. There are people who I guess just jump to conclusions extremely quickly without putting themselves in another person's shoes. People need to think and read before typing. But I'm not really letting it get too me. I have more important things to worry about. Happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
22 Jan 12
That's good! We shouldn't really be bothered as to what other people think as long as we know ourselves. And I think you're a good daughter ayumi.
1 person likes this
14 Jan 12
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I guess some people are just hyper-sensitive, Ignore them. I moved out early last year, although it's been increasingly hard; I love that I'm in my own home just me and my partner. Continue to work hard for your family but most importantly work hard for yourself. Sounds to me like you do everything you can to help! So hold your head up high. Hope everything works out. P.S Everybody needs too vent or people would spontaneously combust.
• United States
15 Jan 12
Yeah I hope that I didn't come off like an ungrateful brat but I do try to help out as much as I can and I sometimes wish I could do more but I just can't! But I feel that everyone has to go through this stage at one point or another and I want to experience it as well. Thanks for the advice and I wish you luck with your new home. Someday I'll be in those same shoes. Happy Mylotting!
@parascevi (314)
• Greece
14 Jan 12
I know how you feel and you have absolutely right.I feel the same too.I work part time so i can not rent my own house and i have to still live with my parents.It is kind of depressing meaning that i want to feel independent and care take of myself.This gives you strength and self confidence that you can achieve something.
• United States
15 Jan 12
Sometimes I feel like I will never be fully independent but I keep trying to just push myself and have more confident in myself in what I am doing right now to get me to that point. I'm going to wish both us of the best of luck so that we can get there. Happy Mylotting!
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
14 Jan 12
Yes being independent is good.Learning to live by yourself and eat from your own sweat working salary is good in long term.Also learn to save money and plan for the future is nice also. Maybe sometime we can stay not far from own home, like rent a room or stay share rent with close frens is good also.Personally i think your are working toward independent since your are sharing the house bills and sibling bills too.Congrats.
• United States
15 Jan 12
Yeah I'm trying my best. And I was actually thinking of renting an empty apartment building in the same building that my mother lives in but unfortunately I know that I wasn't ready to do that because I don't even have a full time job. But I'm slowly making my way there and hopefully one day I'll be able to live on my own and still help my mother out.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
14 Jan 12
Most mothers understand that their sons will have to move out of the house. In fact, they are happy that their sons can live on their own. There are mothers who still like their sons to live with her. They are worried about their sons being far from them. So, it is better you tell your mom about it. Of course you mustn't tell her that you are tired of living with her. Never say that.
• United States
14 Jan 12
I'm a girl not a guy and I haven't told her that I'm tired of living with her. I have told her that I want to EXPERIENCE that next step in my life of living alone. I wouldn't say that to her because I love her and I do know that hurts.
@squallming (1777)
• Malaysia
14 Jan 12
haha, that is why when we make a discussion or respond to a discussion, there is a note beside our message box which says "Please be as descriptive as possible". So when you made that discussion of yours back then, you should have detailed the discussion subject to avoid misunderstanding. Perhaps in the future you can proofread your discussion or respond and try rephrase them to make sure people get your intended message. Anyway, I'm glad that you want to be independence. It's good but you can start helping your mom in housework too.
• United States
14 Jan 12
I never said I didn't help my mother around the housework. I work two jobs so that I can help pay the bills because my mother doesn't work. And when I am home I have resumes to send out but I always make sure to help my mother clean the house or anything else she needs. I'm not just sitting around all day not doing anything and taking things for granted.
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
14 Jan 12
It's difficult when you're misunderstood. It can elicit responses that are off the mark and can be hurtful like what happened to you. I haven't read your original post but I also think there's nothing wrong with moving out. Almost all of us long for that moment of independence. Well, I guess the word "tired" that you used may come across as a strong word. It can really make people conclude that you hate living in your house.
• United States
14 Jan 12
Yeah I read it over and the word tired was probably a word I shouldn't have used. But I can't go back now and change it that's why I decided to make this discussion, and like you said everyone longs for that momen of independence at one point in our lives. Sooner or later I will have to grow up and get my own place and form my own family as well. But when you're writting over the internet it's easy for things to be misconstrued.
@moneywinner (1866)
• Brazil
14 Jan 12
Of course not, you already have the age to have this experience, which I can say for my own experience, it's great. I didn't see the discussion that you mentioned, but you can't take anyone so seriously, sometimes, there are persons who don't read all the question before answering.
• United States
14 Jan 12
Yeah you're probably right. I just think that it's natural for a young adult to want to experience what their own parents have experienced already. Even if I do move I will still be helping out my mother financially.
• United States
14 Jan 12
There is nothing worng with that at all. I would be wanting the same thing if I were not on m own. I like living alone an visiting my mother as well.
• United States
14 Jan 12
Hi! Yeah I agree. It's only natural that a young adult would like to experience living by themselves and learning how to fend for themselves. Happy Mylotting!
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Jan 12
ayumitakashi hi not at all. we all have to leave the nest and mom and dad and make our way as new adults at some time. I did this when I was twenty and I loved the feeling that I could take care of myself. Pay the rent and work at a decent job and be an adult caring for my self. I would visit my parents on most weekends but I was always gld to get back To Rapid City and myj ob and apt. too.Its the thrill of being able to care for yourself and know your parents did a fine job of raising you to be self sufficient.
• United States
14 Jan 12
Yeah and I want to feel that thrill of being completely independent and showing my mother that I can do it as well. I want to have that feeling of getting home and knowing that I was able to get an apartment all on my own and am able to pay for it and take care of myself. That's something that everyone in their lives must go through at one point or another.