raising children

Hello friend, I am glad to know about your kids being successful after you let them fly. Well, I stay in India, where family is the base for anyone. So, there is no question of kicking the kids out to fly. I mean, of course we are given the freedom that we need to fly and the knowledge and guidance too. But, we are not let go off by ourselves. That is because, no matter what, at the end of the day, we all want to be under the same roof with our beloved family and the parents. Such is the practice that we follow here. But yes, now times are changing. people move distances to explore their careers and studies. So, it is not like before, yet people always wish that they could stay together under the same roof!

Yes.....my oldest daughter got herself into some financial troubles and moved back home. She forgot that she was a paying guest on her return and I had to ask her to leave..she she could come back and run the show so to speak. She did well...went back to school and got her degree...found a hubby and now is happily married....

Many times I think it is too easy for children to become to dependant on their parents and never get a chance to really do things on their own, and Grow up. It is a good thing you realized that you were not helping your kids any, and made them move out and get on with their lives. Since things are actually going good for your kids you have proved that you did a good thing. And since they are still wanting to be around for family dinners from time to time, that is even better.

I think good parents know how and when to let their kids fly. While bad parents don't know how to let them fly. They take care of all things for their kids, they think it is love. But in the end, they know they ruined their kids. Whether a kid can grow into a useful and honest person have so much relations with his or her parents.

So of my friends are still staying with the parents , i guess some parents prefer to have their children stay close by since they are getting old and wish to have someone nearby to take of care of the old folks.Sometime it is more economical to stay with parents if the relationship is good.Parents often let they children fly when they are like 18 years old above when they go college to study graduate work and then wish them to settle down after 10 years plus working.

Wow that was so great of you! I think they are very grateful to you now that their life is happy and successful. If it's not because of you kicking them out of your house I am sure they will still be very dependent on you. Wanting to be having a meal with you and see you is a sign that they have appreciated and loved you so much!

I still have a long way before I'm in that kind of a situation. My son's only 8 years old right now. But I don't think I would kick him out of the house. My parents had not done that so I won't be doing that to my son. I believe that he would know when it's time to leave the nest like I did :)

Unfortunately, I had to kick my son out and refuse to allow him to come back to live at my home. It has been a couple of years ago now. As many 18 year old kids do, he thought that with the legal age of maturity came the freedom to do whatever he wished, when he wished and that the house rules no longer applied to him. I had to show him that his way of thinking was just all wrong. It broke my heart, but at the same time, I was relieved that he was gone. He thought he could bounce between mine and his father's houses when it suited him. When he would get mad at me, he would show his tail, and go to his dad's for a few months, and when dad put his foot down, the son would come back to my house for a few months. This went on for about two years. Till I finally got enough of it. I love my son with all my heart, but under no circumstance will any of these children (biological or step), of any age be utterly disrespectable to me or the other members of my house. I will not be cursed and yelled at by my own offspring. His tantrums were pretty unbearable and had gotten to the point that I was not totally sure he would not turn violent. He simply had to go. Today, this same son realizes that he can not use my house as a flop house or motel when he chooses to drop in. He realizes that while he is here, he is a guest now, and will treat my home and its inhabitants with respect. I think that throwing him out done him some good. It forced him to realize that he was not a child anymore and should not expect other people to support him if he was not going to get off his rear and do something to help himself.