Seriously? How can they be so insensitive!

United States
January 16, 2012 12:17am CST
I am at my whits end this evening. You see, a very dear little furry friend got hit by a car the other night and I watched it happen. I have been broken up about this little stray. Two people that I told, right away began chiming in about a dog they saw or heard about getting hit by a car. Each dog in each of these men's stories were quite unknown to them. I fed this cat and played with him and worried for him since he came around in the spring. Both these men know this cat, at least have seen him around. One man happens to be my boarder who has been here for years now, so he knows the cat personally. I just cannot believe each of these men thought their story was better than my sad experience! That's what it felt like, a fish story, you know, people have to have a better story than you do. There was no concern about the cat or myself, nothing like that. They both had to tell their story, even when I told them both I really do not care about it. Yes, I did, because it was not their dog, or their stray--the boarder merely watched a dog he never laid eyes on before get hit. Tragic, yes, but quite inappropriate to speak about when someone is talking about a pet. Do you agree or not? I just could not believe he didn't even say I am sorry to hear that.......nothing of the sort. Just went on with his story, as though we were talking about nothing important. The other guy heard from another guy who hit a dog, and cried over it. So the second friend did not even see the dog get hit, never even laid eyes on the dog, but heard about it from another person who was crying because he hit the animal, and had to tell me about it right then and there as I am still talking about Judah! How insensitive and rude. He did not care for the dog, there is no feeling for the animal or even the poor man who unfortunately ran over the dog and cried. I just cannot believe it, that neither one seemed to care at all that I am hurting, and that Judah had been put down after suffering all night. I did not tell this experience to them because I wanted to hear about their my fish is bigger than yours story (that is what a fish story-mine was bigger, harder to reel in, the elements were against me, a shark nearly took my arm off when I tried to reel in the whale, etc) In fact, I do not believe I told a story, just talked about my stray cat and how I felt about him being hit. Let me tell you, after talking to each of these men, I was even more hurt and upset. What would you have done? How would you feel after someone tried one-upping you when you tell a heart-wrenching experience?
2 people like this
5 responses
@tatzkie23 (773)
• Philippines
17 Jan 12
I feel sad about what happened to your cat. I know how you feel, because our dog was also hit by a car last week. It's so sad to see him dying. But about those guys, yes, they're kinda insensitive. Maybe, They're so excited to tell their story about their dogs. I have this attitude of not telling stories to someone, because i know they might not listen to me. They have their own stories to tell. They always like to be heard, and if i want to talk, they will not give attention to what im saying. That's why i don't tell stories with people. I am much more of a listener.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Jan 12
You pegged them correctly. They do so love to talk! lol. My poor dear friend who is being stalked by an exboyfriend who did some unspeakable things to her, tried to tell one of these guys the ex had sent her an email, she's scared, etc. and of course one of the chatty gentleman had a story of someone he knows met a guy online and he's harassing her now. It's like, wow.........never even connected the dots how traumatic this is, then pour salt into the wound and keep talking incessantly about someone else. The girl was in tears, she was so frustrated! She told him how do you think I feel that you are bringing up something else right now? What about how I feel? lol poor thing. Kinda don't blame her, though she did rather over react. It seems there is nowhere for her to turn for help. Just to have someone listen and validate the terror in her life would be helpful! But this guy is just not the guy. I am so very sorry to hear about your dog! That is an awful thing to bear. I hope the grieving process is quick for you both and your broken heart is healed.
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
16 Jan 12
It is very sad when people are insensitive this way. There are are many people who feel like they have to tell things like that. Animals are so awesome and it is very sad when we see them get hurt. Especially when we have cared for them and known them. I would have felt hurt if this is how they would have treated me.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 12
These guys are like that no matter what. Always trying to come up with a better story, or at least a similar one. It does not even seem they spend any time thinking about your situation or what you said, they just have to but in with a similar thing, whether you are done talking or not. Usually, it is before you have completed your experience! I just don't understand them.
• United States
16 Jan 12
Yeah it is hard to understand people like that. It would seem like they would at least make some type of comment about your experience and how sad it is before they start talking about another experience. Unfortunately though there are many people who have to tell stories and who like to hear themselves talk.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 12
I do believe you hit the nail on the head. It seems that neither of these gentlemen really want to engage in actual discussion; they rather enjoy doing all the talking. And more talking. And still more talking. Until their victim wants to tie an anchor around their neck and plunge into the river, just to escape their talking. (there is a gentleman who said something like that, and when one of these talkie talkie men walked into the public area we were at, he proceeded to get up and make his way to the door that faces the riverfront! It was hilarious!)
1 person likes this
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
16 Jan 12
I don't mean to defend these men, but that's the way men think. Just trying to rationalize. Sensitiveness is a different ball game for men. What the were attempting to do was to narrate something maybe more horrible and gorier in comparison to what happened Judah, in the hope that you will take solace in the fact the suffering was brief. What they didn't realize was the sorrow of a mother, for whom the loss was personal and devastating. Depressing as it must have been for you, that is as far as men go with emotions, anything beyond that earns them the tag of different preferences, if you know what I mean. Yes, rough and gruff, that is the image that men have to keep up. The fact that they took upon themselves to do what they did, shows they cared for you and your loss. I am a male and may have been biased in what I have just said, but, believe me, I am sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 12
Perhaps you are right. I still can't believe neither of them could wait until I was even finished........didn't even wonder what happened to the cat after he was hit; they had to tell their tale as soon as they could. I got as far as I saw Judah hit by a car, and no sooner did I get those words out, they were both, at different times, in different places, not even together in the same room, chomping at the bit to tell their dog got hit by car. It's surreal to me. One is as you say a macho man, the other is not quite like that, but his preferences are intact. I guess they are just trying to be men, huh? O, my. I did not expect them to cry over Judah, but goodness........
• United States
16 Jan 12
I will try to do better to understand.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
16 Jan 12
yes when it comes to animals some people are so insensitve and cruel, I am an amimal lover so to me animals are important lives with feelings and should be treated like all living creatures and that includes humans, I hate people who do not respect the feelings of animals.
• United States
16 Jan 12
These two guys do not seem to be able to care about anyone's feelings, animal, mineral or vegetable. lol. Even so, common sense should kick in but I guess it doesn't.
• United States
16 Jan 12
Some people just march to the beat of a different drum. I guess I should try to understand them better.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
16 Jan 12
People are different. The way they cope with sadness, shocking events is different too. Some cry out loud, others don't say a word. It's the same with trying to comfort someone who is said. Some people listen, others just embrace you, others try to tell a same kind of story. I don't think it's about catching a bigger fish but not knowing how to respond in a right way. Not everybody is able to deal with sadness. I think if you would tell them (later on) how you felt about their response they will be shocked. I don't know how I would respond on that moment, don't think I would tell an other story, same kind or sorth of, but still I would find it hard to deal and give the right response. You never know how someone will respond on it, if it was the right thing to do or say.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 12
Believe it or not, I did tell them. Right away. I didn't even get to finish about what happened to Judah, before they were interrupting me to tell me about their dog got hit by car stories. I did say look, I really don't care about that dog, MY stray was hit and I am hurting, I don't need to hear about another animal getting hit. They did not listen. They did wait impatiently for me to finish, then had to chime in with their story. Not a breath after I had even completed my version. You are probably right, they just do not know how to comfort someone or say the right thing. There really is no right thing to say, but telling a tale of similar consequence is not helpful to most people. But, it is possible they do not know what to say so they have to say something and a car hitting an animal triggers their brains to find a similar story in their past, or in someone else's past.