I am now afraid to make more friends again.

Philippines
January 16, 2012 12:48am CST
Good day fellow mylotters, I am quite sad for what happened to the friendship that I have had with one of my good friends. That, our friendship just ruined by some issues and misunderstanding due to some situation. And now, I think I totally lost her. That the friend I have treasured for almost a decade was not my friend anymore. As a result, I am now afraid to make friends again. As I am used having so many friends since my collegiate days. And this friend is one of my college friends during those times. And now, I am loosing her. Hence, I am truly happy with a lot of friends around but due to this, I am quite afraid if I can still have more and can still handle more.
3 people like this
15 responses
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 12
Don be judgemental against friends. - Don not judge friends too harshly
I guess if the friendship is tat important your can always ask for forgiveness and batch up with presents and dinner or food to prepare , or something to show nice gesture, however , if the person refuse to accept your apologize then it is time to move on. Human relationship is bound to have its conflicts and such , for me i choose to close one eye and close one eye rather that be too judgemental in things and lose friends.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
Main question: What happened between this friend and you that caused the two of you to be apart? I don't think you should be afraid. Friends are important in life. We just have to be extra careful when we choose them.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
16 Jan 12
I am much in the same position, when you lose trust with the people you think more of than anyone else, it is hard to aacept again, so much so I don't let anyone get too close to me now, I am in control of my life and prefer to have a few good friends but not best frinds with any one person....it has worked out ok for me...
@megalia (60)
• Indonesia
10 Mar 12
I'm having the same experience with you.. It's even happened for many times.. In that time I really disappointed and make me decide not to make a friend with anyone.. But then I realize, people can't live in this world without others.. So that I decide to have a friend but not too trusting them anymore. I mean I just make a friend with everyone, but I have no best friend. It seems OK for me..
@marguicha (100495)
• Chile
24 Jan 12
Not many friends last all your life. But you have to be happy that you had her for some time instead of being afraid of making friends with other people. If you could have this friend, it means that you are able to make friends and be happy with other people. Have fun!
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
23 Jan 12
I lost my best friend of over 15 years. I wonder now if she was using me. When it came down to it and really needed her, she was there for me but she used me, abused me, stole from me and lied to me. She really did a number on me and when we parted, it was the end. I still think of her a fair bit and I think about what she did to me. I think it must have been the last straw for me because since then, I haven't been able to relate to people very well. I don't trust anyone and I feel as if I am closed now, unable to reach out. I still show vulnerability sometimes but no-one cares. I live a reclusive life in a small town far from anything. I'm happy and content with just my many animals around me and my garden.
@tatzkie23 (773)
• Philippines
17 Jan 12
That's sad losing your friend. Maybe there still something you can do. If you really value your friendship, you would do something to prevent it from being ruined. If she don't want, then give her time and space. I also once lose my friend, or maybe i was just angry at her. And until now, i haven't talked to her. But, life goes on. if you are now afraid of making friends again, think about it. I know that it is hard to trust someone nowadays, you can choose your friends. stay happy as the same.
@Hatley (164506)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Jan 12
hi airsheila have you thought that maybe she is feeling the same way.Why not try one more time to sort out the differences and if necessary compromise with her to save that decade old friendship.but do not be afraid to make new friends just take' care with whom you chose and also be honest with yourself, did you do all you could do yourself to save your friendship with the other person?sometimes we have search within ourselves and admit we might have been partly to blame it never hurts to say you are sorry too.
@vt689586 (585)
• India
16 Jan 12
since we have many friends in our life but their are one or at least two friends in our life who supports us in every situation either it is favorable or not they always stand behind us ,they feels us alone they are like the our world. and losing such a friend from our life is not simple thing to overcome with it. but if she is your best friend then one day she will be with you again.all of yours misunderstanding are vanished.so don't be so afraid to make friend ,friends are one who fulfill us and give purpose to life.
• India
16 Jan 12
People learn fast from there own mistake, don't be afraid, life never stop !!!!!
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
What ever your experienced from your old friends never happened again or not all people around are with the same character. May be she (your friend) was like that but others don't affraid because you think ther are same person or character. But as I told you never ever same. So start now of getting and open your hearth to others.
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
Friend are people you can count on in times of trouble. It might be really troublesome to have a friend who don't value you as much as you do but it's not about giving. It is also traumatic to have a bad experience with making friend but we can only move on.
@KrauseHome (35526)
• United States
16 Jan 12
Well, what people need to realize is that many times as a person gets older their needs and wants change. Or someone might get married, and feel it is not as important to be a friend, or they can just not relate anymore. It is usually only something natural and often happens a lot. If there is nothing really you have done just give them space and maybe they will change their mind. But personally this should not stop you from reaching out and looking for New friends that you can talk with and share things with as well. People do live really busy lives as they get older, but finding people you can relate with and do things with is a Good thing for sure.
@sethalex (154)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
Hi aira, I understand your situation. In fact, I also experience that very same scenario! But we ended up the forgiving each other and picking up all the pieces of our ruined relationship. Guess what? It's like the old adage they say! Love is sweeter the second time around but we are just friends not lovers. Lol! In your case, you must not limit yourself to friendship to only one person. Although your relationship with her could not be compared, but please open your heart and mind. A lot of people valued friendship more than other things. It is one of the greatest gifts from the Almighty Father. Start exchanging ideas here in myLot and you will encounter lots of friends, including me. And who knows? Both of you will picking up the pieces and build the second life of your friendship. All the Best!
@SIMPLYD (81659)
• Philippines
16 Jan 12
Don't be afraid to make friends again my friend. Let the experience with your former friend be a lesson to you. Don't commit the same mistake as what happened to your friend. Just be careful though in choosing your new friends. Don't be too trusting.