Dealing with people against homeschooling...

@LLWolf (119)
United States
January 16, 2012 5:00pm CST
I homeschool my son who has ADHD. He is doing great and is in the fourth grade this year. He is making Bs and Cs, which for someone with ADHD who is not on medication it is almost a miracle. He is very social and takes karate, plays soccer and we all bowl together on a youth/adult league on Sundays. This brings me to my question...How do you deal with people who are against homeschooling? There is a teacher at the bowling alley that quizzes and questions both of us about homeschooling and what my son is learning and it just goes on and on. I feel like I'm on trial every time I talk to her. I just try to be polite and answer whatever she throws at me as thoroughly as I can. So, how do you deal with people who are critical of the fact that you homeschool?
2 responses
@peavey (15770)
• United States
17 Jan 12
I think she is rude to continue asking you about him. It's really none of her business and I would treat her intrusion as just that. Smile and tell her that you're both getting along quite well and thank her for asking, then move on. Turn away from her if you must; don't make eye contact with her again, try to avoid her when you can and act as if you have far more important things on your mind, which you do: having fun with your family. Anyway, that's the way I would deal with it. Hopefully she would get the idea that I wasn't going to talk to her about it. The choice to homeschool is a valid choice and no one has the right to question it, especially teachers.
@LLWolf (119)
• United States
17 Jan 12
I thank you for your reply. I had actually thought about just telling her that we come to bowling as an extra curricular activity and to have fun so we didn't want to focus on school right now. So, I would appreciate it if she would just kind of drop the subject. Is that too nice? Should a be more forceful or not so nice?
@peavey (15770)
• United States
17 Jan 12
I think you would be giving too much by saying it that way. You don't have to be forceful, just don't respond in any way that would allow her to comment or react. Just say something like "Thanks, we're doing fine." Then turn around, walk away, speak to someone else or take a bathroom break - anything to end the conversation. At least that's how I would do it, but everyone is different. If you feel more comfortable telling her directly that you don't want to talk about it, then do it that way. However you tackle it, don't let her intrude on your private choice. It's really none of her business.
17 Jan 12
I'm one of those people how believe in honesty, you say this person is there every week, so once you start with a half truth, you've got to remember it week after week, and make up more to cover the holes in the first one. It's not worth the effort to get around some busy body. I'd advise you to be totally honest and quite direct, start with something like 'I FEEL you disapprove of my homeschooling' nobody can argue with how you feel, it is after all how you feel. it may be that this teacher is simply interested in what you do, but because it's an un-common circumstance some arkwardness is there. Of course you may be quite correct and she disapproves completely, but if that is the response you get, you simply have to reminder that it's a free country and the choice is entirely yours, and the you son is doing quite well in that environment and has several social activities. I do agree though if it persists then you can say we've discussed this already, clearly we don't have the same opinion, however I must remind you that this is family time and I need to spend it with my child. Once you've actually had that 'meeting of minds' and worked out you have different opinions, you simply have to agree to disagree. Good Luck
@SinfulRose (3518)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Jan 12
My advice to you is just put your best smile on, let her ask her questions and just answer her as best as you can until she finally realizes that not everything is taught in school and there are times when going to school doesn't help certain cases like my baby brother who is normal but hates the idea of going to school. Despite that he is almost always absent, he knows way better than his classmates in terms of Japanese, English, Math and social skills(especially towards the ladies. The guy is just your average Cassanova). And he knows a lot about using mobile gadgets and using the computer and the net way ahead of his peers. Well, what can I say, he's surrounded by people who just loves computers.
@LLWolf (119)
• United States
17 Jan 12
This is what I've been doing and this last Sunday I was going to do something different. Tell her we were there to have fun and I didn't want to focus on school right then or something along those lines. She did keep glancing over at us but she did not say a word so maybe I finally wore her down.
• Davao, Philippines
18 Jan 12
That's good to hear. I hope your child is doing fine. Just yesterday, my baby brother's homeroom teacher advised my mom that he should be schooling in SPED--I think it's a school for children who didn't fit the "average" of our society. (He still don't know how to speak well despite he's already 5 years old) And my reaction when I heard it from my mother was, "WHAT THE HECK?!" He didn't even want to get out of the house like we all do. He hate the word "school" because it means, "it ain't fun". Unlike when we're at home, we can draw, we can sing, we can dance, we are free to be as we are, creative, imaginative, resourceful and be whoever we wish to be. I think it's normal too that he can't speak much because this generation of my family are late speakers. And as I remembered in my childhood days, I hate making mistakes, so I rarely speak up. I collect as many words as possible and go over it in my head repeatedly until I think I've collected enough and started speaking the language taught to us. I had a good storage of childhood memories and I don't plan to forget them any time soon. My baby brother reminded me of who I was before, I would repeatedly play a movie just to get certain words, learn them by heart despite not knowing what they were talking about but still learning at one's own phase. Let your son be who he is. Let him learn at his own time. A human's intelligence is not to be messed with, especially those who were termed "special". It's something powerful that should not be limited by school or what others think is right. It should not be molded to think like what other think. It should be let run wild because human intelligence is a power with limitless capabilities. Who knew that a termed mentally challenged man can become very wealthy in the end?