no longer interested to love...

@asliah (11137)
Philippines
January 18, 2012 4:39am CST
greetings to all mylot users and my friends,have you ever feel this way being not interested or no longer interested to love?why?what is your reason if it happens to you?i mean no shrink when someone offer their self to be your love affair or significant one,i think people have many reasons why they set aside love and not interested to love.may we know what is/are your reason/s?
3 people like this
24 responses
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
When people get hurt and the pain it caused is hard to forget, that is when I think people become uninterested to love again. Sometimes it will be very hard to trust someone again once you've been deeply hurt by a person you have truly loved but have ignored you and didn't given you much importance. So some people chooses to remain alone and never to love again. They'll be satisfied just spending their time with family.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
Yeah that is also true. The person should help him/herself too, by getting over such depression doing activities that will help her/him forget about the pain that love had caused him/her.
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
enelym is right. I would like to add just a point. You could get over such depressing time by getting involved in some hobby or such activity. Or you could get a pet.
@Annrose21 (161)
18 Jan 12
Yes there were a lot reasons why more and more of women were no longer interested of love. I will sir=te two of the most important reasons. First was to focus on their career. This was more important rather than dating and fooling around. Then the lessons they have in their past relationships. I mean, they already had enough, so they must have to refrain from love for a while and focus on personality building first.
25 Jan 12
Hi mselin! I am sorry for sending the same comment. I just thought that the later was not processed since I was having some internet connection problem that time. Well, I already moved on and enjoyed having my solitude and single blessedness.
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
Hi Annrose, You just wrote the same comment twice, you must have been hurt really badly in the past to give so much emphasis on it. For your own good, is n't it better to let go?
@ayvanee (149)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Yes, I have felt that way only because I decided to focus on something else-- making myself happier without a partner, and living life to the fullest without restrictions. Now, I have a boyfriend and I have to say I've never been happier. Of course you have to make sacrifices... relationship is a two-way street, never a highway and a smooth bike path, but I have to say I am so blessed to find him. For now, some of you guys may not find interest in finding someone to love, of course you have to wait.. only time can tell :)
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
That is so true. Being in love demands a lot of sacrifice, yet you feel happy to make those sacrifices. often you feel happier when yo have to make some sacrifices. Being single may be give you a chance to live without restrictions, but sometimes then you feel that something is lacking from life.
@Annrose21 (161)
18 Jan 12
Yes this heve to be having a million of reasons. But I will just site few of the most important reasons. First of all was the focus of my career, this has to be prioritized rather than dating and fooling around. And then the lessons I learned from my past relationships. I had enough and I think I need to take a rest for a while. This will help me ease the pain from the past and focus on my career first.
25 Jan 12
I have been considering that a couple of times already. I have been engaging to some relationships thinking that this was the right and a perfect relationship, only to know that this was just another failure from love. Now, I am not taking into consideration some temptations that come my way. Maybe in time, that I can be ready again, I will be sure to choose the right guy wisely.
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
Hi Annrose, What you said is right. It is always good to keep priorities in life. you must work hard for the career, but if you find love in your life you must not reject it out right. Give it a chance. Don't fool around much but do not stop your feelings just like that.
• India
18 Jan 12
i had a love failure recently. but it hasnt affected my romantic nature. sometimes when our partners cheat, we feel terrible..
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
that is such a positive approach to life..
@vt689586 (584)
• India
18 Jan 12
hi,sometimes i had felt that now i am no longer for love. that feeling in comes across from your hurt and it is really painful to live this feel. this feeling is come when you expected from your partner so much and he/she is not able to maintain it.when you believe your partner blindly and he/she cheating you from the back. and if your partner somethings hides from you that is very important for relationship. in my relationship my partner hide something very important to me.and she was lied me for this ago.and after that i felt so hurt-ed but every thing is alright
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
hi vt, So are you saying that even though you were hurt you found a way to overcome it and fall in love again? you said that it is alright now. Or did you just turn cynical? It is very difficult to get over a heart break.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
if you mean romantic relationship with other people I am not interested in it right now because I need to love myself as I am the only person that truly knows my needs and to attend to them I am struggling with health issues and right now this is my main focus because without a better health I will not be able to be independent
@cotruelove (1016)
• Denver, Colorado
20 Jan 12
I have been through one marriage with a cheating husband and my husband has been through ones with cheating wives. Trust was his big issue when we met. I had some trust issues, but nothing like his because he had it happen more than once. I had been married 34 years to my husband when I got divorced. I met my now husband during the separation before the final divorce decree on the internet. HE didn't live anywhere close to me. Personally, I didn't think about love, I was too busy getting over the marriage and dividing the household. My now husband had been alone for seven years before we met, and we actually had met in a computer chat room talking about computers. At the time, we first met, we neither one were looking for "love" or a "relationship." He was still getting over the failure of another marriage, and I was just busy getting over mine. When we started talking by phone rather than internet, he was in another state from me, a long way away. We both wanted a companion more than a love relationship. Since we are neither young then or now, we didn't know how it would end. It has been close to 10 years since we first met, and we did get married in the last year. For us, it was better to just be friends than think about another relationship with the possibility of another cheater. It was a long time before he moved to where I live. And then we were room mates for a long time, with my adult son and his girl friend. It took a long time for trust to be restored for both of us. But it was a decision to stay away from love that kept us room mates for a long time. Now I'm in love and happily married to my best friend, and I have to say, I know him much better than the man I was married to for 34 years.
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
I think there are two reasons why you one no longer becomes interested to much. One is that that person is still hurting and is afraid to love again. The other is that that person has become numb because of the pain of loving before. This is only natural because all people feel pain when they get their hearts broken. But I think that when the right person comes along, no matter how afraid or how hurt you have been, you would still feel your heart beating. Maybe you do feel love but you just don't want to feel it.
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
20 Jan 12
You are too young to not be interested in love! you still got a life to explore and a long way to go! now about me then that is different all together since I Am 66 been there done that! and I Am not interested to be in love any more... not because of my age[ my friend is 71 and got a new partner!]I just don't want to deal with any one's problems...I live my life the way I want...and at the end of the day I don't want to look after an old man!
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Hello Asliah, because LOVE leads to expenses, of dating, eating together, spending time together, gifts. if it's gets serious, weddings and then having children and having family as the result of success love is expensive, you have no choice but to work to provide for your family. As for me, that was my siblings experience, probably why i won't be interested in LOve, knowing it's an even more risky gamble than any lottery game that i've ever played. not to mention, Love isn't even a game, a serious business love to boot
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
Oh.. That is a sort of realistic way of looking at thing. But what about saying that life becomes more engaging with love? you will have to earn for yourself any way. then add love to it and u find some meaning in work, gifts, kids everything.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
20 Jan 12
The reason for me is because I am not ready for it...I don't know when I will open my heart to somebody else but it does not mean that I am not interested to love. I am just not ready to give some of my love to specific person as I never met one.(^^)
@myzhian (584)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
I give myself a break from love to have more time for myself, to focus on something necessary, and to enjoy my freedom. But not to the extend that I will close my door for it!
18 Jan 12
Something must has happen in the past and you still cannot get over it may be hurt
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
Sebastion, you must be right. But i am of the opinion that if you fall in love again, you will get over all the hurt of the past. But its very difficult if you are hurt to trust some one again. right? But sometimes you find the perfect person who will not only make you feel loved but also erase all the pains from the past.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
19 Jan 12
I have no interest in being in love right now. One reason is i wanted mate to have a large family with. Ive no raised my kids alone. So ive done alone already what i wanted a mate for so what do i now need one for??? Not to sy i will always feel that way. Later in life i may find a different reason and my whole outlook will change.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
Even if I suffer a lot of troubles in my relationship I still open my heart to love someone and to be love. I don't want to close my heart in loving someone because I want to find someone who is really kind that love me as I am for better or worse...
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
19 Jan 12
Yup. I am not interested. It's not worth it. Women are too expensive, and I have very little money. Then they get upset at something and leave, run off with some other man. I have a solution: Leave them alone. They will not get upset because I'll never be with them. They'll go find another man to start with. I feel like I am helping them out! Life is better alone.
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
There are people who like it that way. Being single. Or not really interested in love. Maybe because they've been hurt before, betrayed, or dumped. But i hope this won't stop them to love. I've been hurt before, and i told myself that i will never fall inlove again. After that, i took love as a game. I had some flings. I became less serious about relationship. I don't give everything.I've been single for how many years, until, I've already let love in again. I noticed that, i feel sad, i feel like i want somebody to love again. Luckily, i found this guy, He's my husband now. I found love again with him.
@mselin (77)
• India
18 Jan 12
Like many said already, I feel that it must be because of past hurtful experiences. Yet it is like a defensive mechanism so that you won't be in a similar situation again.
• United States
20 Jan 12
I have for a long time wondered if I am worth love, if I can be loved. I am timid in the mention of relationships. Have I given up on relationship love since childhood? I don't know, maybe it is just that I am too afraid of rejection that I gave up. I've never been strong when it comes to emotions and the effort it takes to crush me is far easier than it seems. At the same time I am stuck on my values and I don't waver on them. But sometimes I'm too timid for my own good, I have only second-hand experience of relationships gone bad and both the joys and terrors associated with love. Perhaps that is it, I may be afraid... but regardless, I wouldn't say I have given up... Maybe I'm like the Beast, who doesn't yet understand it fully. But regardless, I can't say one can just... give up on love period. As there is more than one kind of love to feel...