Brother returning

United States
January 18, 2012 7:09am CST
My brother came to live with us about two years ago because he was basically homeless. He ended up getting back in touch with some of his buddies and he got arrested and has been in jail since Oct.2010. He is returning today and will be on probation for a long time period. I hope that he can stay out of trouble as he will not have any way of going anywhere unless he walks. I would like to see him straighten his life up and get a job and do something constructive- he is almost 40. Have you ever helped someone in your family like this? Did they grow up?
4 people like this
9 responses
@tatzkie23 (773)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
I hope that your brother had changed. Being jailed is not really easy. Spend more time with your brother if you can, i think that your family will play a big role here. Encourage him not to get into fight again or make friends with wrong people. No one in family ever got jailed before. But, i know someone, My friend. He went to jail because of robbery. I didn't expect him to do that. I was shocked. But i didn't judge him. He ask for our help, i helped him. It's not easy but we did help him. And now, he's out. He's been good since then. I asked him why did he do that, he told me that, he's really in need of money to pay his tuition.
• United States
19 Jan 12
We have always tried to encourage my brother to stay out of trouble. The last time that we allowed him to live with us we told him to stay away from his buddies as they were trouble. However, I won't allow drinking at my house and I won't allow him to party at my house so he had to go there because he has a drinking problem. He needs to get the help that he has been offered and stay out of the trouble.
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
I hope he will change for the better. Drinking will not solve any of his problem, it will just make it worst. I hope that he learns his lesson from being jailed.
@moneywinner (1866)
• Brazil
19 Jan 12
I never went through to a similar situation as yours, but I imagine how you are feeling. I hope your brother grow up this time and start act like his age, but, probably after spend a time on jail he will grow up because now he knows how bad is to live there.
• United States
19 Jan 12
The sad part is that this is not his first time there and so I don't know that it will help. He needs to see that he has lived most of his life doing things his way and that he has not gotten anywhere. Now he needs to listen to someone who has their life settled. I have my family, my house, own my car, have horses, and many other things in life.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jan 12
I hope his stint in prison has truly changed him and has turned him into a new leaf. Having a family member who has been on the wrong side of the law is not giving the family peace of mind especially when he is jobless and relying on family handouts. I have a brother who is married with two kids who refused to seek employment as he does not like to be instructed what to do by his superior. He is depending on my mother who is his financial supporter all this while. But mom is old and one day she has to leave her earthly existence and this would create a problem on us, his siblings.
• United States
19 Jan 12
I won't support him finacially. I will help him by giving him rides and stuff but the work and money is all his to deal with.
@TrvlArrngr (4058)
• United States
19 Jan 12
Kudos to you for being there for him! I have not experienced that but had trouble with my son in his early teen years of rebellion. Maybe get him involved with helping others or with Goodwill - they will teach him a skill and put him to work. Staying busy is key to staying out of trouble.
@arjunm (439)
• India
19 Jan 12
A challenging life waits at the end of the prison gate. For the ex-prisoners trouble arises when they come close to their friends and family. They have to face with various factors like and discrimination, trust issues for getting a job. Your brother is very fortunate that he has such a wonderful family that can help him from get out of trouble. With the help of this institution his depressed mind can be turn into a positive. As a volunteer of a NGO, I have been facilitated employment and transition preparation classes for many ex-offenders, their proper grooming, counseling, resume etc. And they have done quite well. There are many such organizations working in this field. You can get help from them from their website. I wish your brother's must grow up. God bless him and his family.
• United States
19 Jan 12
I have never heard of this group. However, he was not in prison just a county jail. Do they work with them as well? I hope he can get the help that he needs.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
19 Jan 12
It is good to always give everyone a chance. We should always believe that people want to change and do better in life, but they only need some assistance on those trying moments of their lives, like your brother for instance, show him and make him realize that there is still hope for him. He needs a lot of help, I can see that and the best people he can count on at this point of his life are no other than his family. Keep hoping and doing good deeds and everything will be all right.
• United States
19 Jan 12
We have done this before and he just continually messes things up. I hope for his sake that he straightens his life out,but I bet he won't.
• United States
18 Jan 12
Well inmy family i dont have to worry about this no one has been in jail but now at work my boss had his daughter in jail for either 2 or 3 years she is out now for almost a year and works on and off here with us when she has a free time from her other job of cutting hair. She has been getting her life back on track and doing the right things and doing to probation and doing the paperwork going to meetings and doing all the necessary stuff she needs to do to get her life back on track and make things right for herself. It of course might take time for him to do but do rememebr that he has court and has to get there and will need rides here and there as i do this for my bosses daughter who is 41 years old. It takes family and friends to sometimes help them out and get there life back together so stick with him and let him know hes improving his daily life.
• United States
18 Jan 12
I plan on being very strict and I want him to straighten up and do things right.
@AmbiePam (49874)
• United States
18 Jan 12
He's lucky he has you as his family. I hope he treats you with the same respect you are showing him by letting him live with you again.
• United States
18 Jan 12
If he doesn't show me respect, I will call the probation department or whatever and I will tell them that he no longer has a place to live. I won't put up with the stupid stuff.
@KrauseHome (35522)
• United States
21 Jan 12
Well, I have never been in that situation with relatives to the point where they needed help like this. Not sure if anyone would come to me like this if they did need help, or even someone from my husbands family. But I do believe that people can change if they want too. They just need to have a loving surroundings and want to change and make their life better. You just need to be there for them while being open and allowing them space as well. Hope everything going ok.