Two different sides of the glass..

Hi Vandana I cannot be, no, I am not, that strong when it comes to this. We have a family disagreement running within our own family and we (our generation) is not allowed to interact with any of one part of our family. But I do. They all know it, have rebuked me, have told me that consequences will be dire and what not but... I follow my heart. Happy that I have made up some strings between that secluded part and I am certain, if nothing else is going to change, I will be happy at end that I did try. One of my friends here, frajil, always mentioned that when you love anyone, you should always tell him/her about your feelings as you never know that you might never get another chance. I did that with this "part of family" and I am a little more connected. Not to say that all will go fine and as planned/thought about but at the end of the day, you will feel happy that you did try. You can always send one PM on Fb to your long time separated sis, and if she too feels the same, she can always return back to the PM. But dont keep expecting a response once you have sent it out... as that will force you to send some more Oh, I forgot to provide you a link - http://www.mylot.com/w/image/2542269.aspx - I made this portrait here. And you are on the second section with my family at MyLot.

Before I went through the responses, I wanted to talk about me, as how I see in black and white and just turn away from everyone. But now reading the details I'm simply sorry. Sorry that I am in no position to advise you. These are the moments I accept my 'kiddo' status silently. It hurts sometimes to be unable to get close, but from what you say you can't risk losing whatever you have now. Maybe waiting is indeed the way. Hopefully she will understand your reasons for being distant so long. How was your relation back then, when you met last? I remember the intense fight between my family and my friend's. Our parents never talked with each other ever after. We tried to do the same, but in the end we just resumed our friendship. Somehow, our families too didn't object much. But we were kids then and circumstances were different....

Boy, oh, boy...has your discussion ever conjured up a lot of painful thoughts! Emotions amuk! I have a situation...somewhat similar...a friend, that did me so much "dirt!" Used me...I mean literally used me, for house, home food..financial gain, her daughter is MY GOD-DAUGHTER--this overa period of 22 years...and when she married, finally for the 3rd time, into the upper classes...she dropped me like a "hot potato"! It is SO painful...as I must stay in contact with my God-daughter! This is a person, I shared everything I had with...every failed marriage, I was there to pick up the pieces...I can't tell you how many times she lived with me (with her daughter)! When she married the last time, I interrupted a "family vacation" in Disneyland...to come home and make her wedding cake for her! I pre-made the cake and froze it...but had to come home and decorate it! And believe me, living on this Island that was a complicated task! YUP...there's still a lot of pain...and she dumped me years, ago!

hi vandana yes I so and I do not know where she is or even if she alive anymore. She was my younger sister and i loved her evern though after her birth I received little attention from my parents as my siste was retired. We had a good relationship until I got married then things fell apart.She became a w.h.o.r.e. and I tried to rescue her but she spurned me and then tried t o tear my marriage apart so finally in self protection and to save my marriage I just stopped all contact with her.every time she came to see us she managed to try to make me believe my husband had been cheating 'with her.I knew this just was not so becaues of my husband's good character but it put a wedge between us and she broke off all contact. I feel'badly as she is my baby sister b ut I cannot condone what she does.She is retarded and there are all sorts of help getting her into decent fields of activity and jobs if she would just accept that help but she refused. so I just more or less gave up now. I am widowed now but my son did not want me to hav3e anything to do with her and I really did not want it either.now she would be in her seventies late seventies as she is 9 years younger than my self.She married a fellow retarded person and I just do not know anymore whats happened to her. every time I have had contact with her its been a diseaster so I have given up now.

Very emotional expression. I enjoyed it like a short story.

I do not think you have lost in both ends. It maybe her duty to stand by her parents but that may not be how she really feels. Keeping it from a distance is a safe way to stay in touch even if there is no communication. Have you tried maybe talking to her husband you said you checked out his page and he checked you back out. Maybe he could talk to her. Seeing that there shouldn't be anything between you and her husband problem wise it might be worth a shot and maybe that could open the lines of communication. She's your sister and we can all tell you love her in a way this isn't easy to describe with words. So maybe if you two could meet up it might not be so bad. But thats only hoping for a happy ending. I'm not a pessimist but she and her husband could block you and thats the cold hard truth of things which you seem to know too well about the cold hard truth. Another option you might could try is try writing her a letter and sendning it to her through the mail, she can either choose to contact you by what you write in the letter or not and you can still keep tabs on her through facebook. Hope this helps..

Hi Vandana, I just read through your exchange with Suny ...just enough to get an idea of what is going on here. I think Sunny is right on...you are being overly worried. This girl is 5 years younger than you. I am understanding that there was something huge that took place between your parents and hers. She was just a young child and now she is an adult. I would request her friendship and talk to her. At the very worst..she could reject you but she hasn't yet so why not give it a shot? It's been so many years that she may not even remember you. She was pretty young. Maybe with a little prompting she might. I recently found a man on Facebook that I babysat when he was a child. He has Cerebral Palsy and for me, learning to care for him and help him had such a big impact on me that I could never forget it. When I requested his friendship, I was a bit surprised that he had no idea who I was. After sharing a few memories with him, he finally did remember. So ya..request this girls friendship. She would have blocked you if she had an issue with you and ...YES, I believe you can block someone from your account.

It’s the yearning of a friendship long ago, All the fun and frolic you both had to forego. Haunting enough for you to be nostalgic, But sure, you can still whip up the magic. Set aside all the wrongs in you’re purview, That’s all this companionship needs, to renew. Once you are out of your rational block, Camaraderie will be a pleasant shock. Words of caution, on her take of this here, She will be as good as her rearing will bear, She will hold out against you, something she thinks is true, Be ready for that, for that will add to the present rue. From anonymous, to the familiar and to the bond that is due, Step ahead confidently, and do something completely new. Think out of the box to box it in and tie up all those lose ends, A big heart is much needed here, for all to make amends. Just sing 'Honey Honey' again from ABBA, that would be a fit re-union song. I had this elder sister, the last of my four foster sisters, who was my sweetheart, my friend, my guide and my mother surrogate. She married when I was five, had a child the next year and never made it out of the hospital. When I meet her in the world beyond, I hope to renew our special bond, after she makes good the pain she left me with.

Thinking back, I don't think I've eve loved someone that much. I sometimes think that I can't possibly have a deep feeling for anyone. I am too skeptic and practical. You, on the other hand are lucky to have that deep emotion. Hope someday you will be able to tell her your love...

HI ma! I wonder for how long you would want to stay like this, watching her from behind the virtual wall as you can't reached nor you can't meet her..Perhaps she would be happy to see you face to face. You will not know until you try to get close to her. You could send a message without her family know right? Just my suggestion.(^^)

First of all thank you so much for sharing this story, this is so personal Vandanaji, i don't have any Facebook account, i don't have any relationship like you have stated here.. Well life is so complicated at times.. Happy posting, cheers. Kalyani

I’m so sorry for the pain you are feeling about this. I can understand your feelings. I think I would venture to message her and ask if you can add her… maybe message her to say how hurt you are, but that she has done no wrong against you. She may be as hurt as you are that you are no longer friends communicating with each other. The only thing like this is I follow my grown grandsons on facebook. One of them talks to me, but the other one doesn’t. He ignores me.