Making changes in our vocabulary.

@Pose123 (21667)
Canada
January 19, 2012 5:36pm CST
Have you ever thought of the many troubling phrases in our language that we use often, without considering their full meaning? Even as our ideals progress, our language maintains some phrases from the past that no longer serve us, for example: Boys don't cry; good child; boys will be boys; problem child; illegitimate child; and many more. While these phrases may be used without harmful intent, they are inherently negative and children especially, can be very sensitive to such phrases. We may not even think there's a problem, yet such words may stay with young people their whole lives, adversely affecting their self-image and wounding their self-esteem. We can create positive change by choosing not to use these words and phrases as we come across them in our vocabulary. Do you agree?
2 people like this
5 responses
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
22 Jan 12
dear Pose123 have thought about our use of language quite a bit being a victim to emotional abuse from both parents. I dont have children as I married much too late and can only hope I would have made things better. The vocabulary mainly my mother, a perfectionist of the worst kind, used towards me has not only wounded my self esteem but crushed it altogether. I am nearing 50 now and only now as my mother is no more I break free from all these exaggerating, unjust and damaging messages which were hurled at me way beyĆ³nd my childhood.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
22 Jan 12
Hi RitterSport, Thank you for sharing and I've known many others who suffered from such verbal abuse. Whether parents realize the damage to their children or not, it is still happening today. Let us start with ourselves and give at least a moment's thought to what we are about to say, if there's any change it might hurt someone why say it? Blessings.
• Lippstadt, Germany
22 Jan 12
Blessings to you too, dear Pose. When I start mentioning that stuff to my husband in the form of saying oh my I have two left hands he just answers what a nonsense. And I know I am not as clumsy as my family made me feel After all I have helped him assemble the closets here etc.
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
hi Pose123! i agree with you. actually anything that is negative is not nice to hear or said especially when addressed to a child. you see, i grew up in a family that is full of love and my parents especially my mother always give us positive words and affirmations while growing up. however, they of course are not in control of the outside world. i have always been fighting negative and sometimes cruel words that were lashed at me outside my home. i guess i have been bullied by other people when i was young. so many ugly words have bruised my young heart and when i tell my mother and father about it, my parents have always lifted me up. i am blessed for the kind of parents i have and hopefully people will realize that creating a beautiful world can start with a positive word. take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith210
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
Hi faith, Thank you for commenting and it's so good to hear from you again. We must start with ourselves and watch our words, others learn best by example. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
21 Jan 12
hi Pose123! thanks...nice to be back. i agree with you that we all have to start with ourselves, be conscious in the words that comes out of our mouth because i believe it too that anything that we say and do to others will have an affect on them..so, it would be far more greater if that affect we bring to others will be a positive one.
@veganbliss (3903)
• Adelaide, Australia
27 May 12
Yes, words have power & some more than others, often depending who it is that's saying them. I guess you've seen a lot in your time. The worst ones are specific & direct & often coming from those who are closest to you. Those that keep repeating that you'll one day grow up to be a murderer or are convinced that you will end up in jail are just a couple of many examples. But you are right, we can choose here & now to end the perpetration of this sort of rediculous, unhelpful nonsense by watching our thoughts, lest they become our words, which become our actions, then our habits, until they become our character which shapes our destiny... & by that point in time, we're pretty much finished!
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
27 May 12
Hi veganbliss, Thank you for responding to this post and you've make an excellent point. It's clear that you've read and given some thought to this discussion. Blessings.
@savypat (20247)
• United States
20 Jan 12
I do believe this, in fact my entire life was subject to the fact that my Mom said I hated her from birth, she said I always waited until she was dressed for work before I throw up on her when I was a baby. Of course when I grew up I knew that it was her own fault, all babies spit up and if she had taken the time to put a cloth between me as a small baby and her work outfit there would have been no problem. But somehow knowing this never took away the sting of the first statement. Again it comes down to " do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
Hi savypat, Thank you for commenting and we agree on this. I was raised in a good home but was always very sensitive and people didn't seem to feel that words mattered much back then. I guess we can only start with ourselves as other learn best by example. Blessings.
• Mexico
21 Jan 12
Hi Pose: That's right. People and culture changes but we still use the same words. Stop using phrases with these kind of negative message could be the answer to stop giving this wrong message. Cultural process can take a lot of time to make a result but they can work we just need to make an effort to change thej way people see the world and express about it. ALVARO
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
22 Jan 12
Hi starsailover, Thank you for coming here and sharing your views. I think we must each start with ourselves. Blessings.