" I am not enough for you?You are enough for me."

United States
January 22, 2012 1:28am CST
This is a line I heard in a t.v. show and I Finally understand why some women are so upset when they find out their mate has another. Silly me I never thought I would be Everything to a guy, especially a husband. So this idea of being enough for him feels strange to me. If you found out your partner/ spouse had an love affair would you say " I am not enough for you?"
3 people like this
18 responses
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
22 Jan 12
I might not say that but I would probably think it. Sometimes it really has nothing to do with the partner that is being cheated on anyway. It is something that the other hasn't found. We are not always going to be the "right one" and sometimes people do stupid things that hurt others in their search for happiness. I don't expect there be another in my relationship. I am too selfish for that and I know it. I will not except being second where my love life is concerned. If I can't be first for one person in the world then I think I would rather be alone.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
I'm used to being invisible. I never thought about being first Or second. It is strange to have a guy who sees me as the best.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
23 Jan 12
You deserve to be number one..I'm happy for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 12
Thanks.
@shibham (17025)
• India
22 Jan 12
I am still unmarried and if such issue occur then definitely i shall ask the same. As i will be liberal and loyal to my spouse, then how she can think about an another guy? Is not it? Have a nice time.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
That's why I will never marry. I would close myself up to a husband and that is the worse thing to do.
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
22 Jan 12
sarahruthbeth22..I hear people say they will never marry...and then they chage their minds when they meet the 'right one'
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
Stary1 I equate marriage with a battle of wills and pure hatred. I have found my One and I will Never marry him Why? Because I love him.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
22 Jan 12
Honestly I don't know. If my present husband would have someone else I would leave and never come back. I would not even ask: I am not enough for you? Since this already shows. My ex husband always had 2-3 gf next to me. I did not care anymore, just wanted him off my back. My ex-bf had someone else too. I left since he only had bad excuses why or what or how. I can't stand cowards.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
The way you felt about your ex husband is how I would feel about A husband from the moment I say I Do! I really would prefer it if he slept with anyone Save me! But with a boyfriend, a man who is choosing to be there, if I am not enough, he should leave.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
22 Jan 12
I think if I found out my partner was having a love affair he'd suddenly discover I'd become far more than he could handle! That is a ridiculous line. It demonstrates how TV perpetuates the imagine of pathetic, needy women.
3 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
It is so Ironic. It is from the series Mistresses.Spoiler alert. If Anyone who wants to see the early episodes Please stop reading now. Jessica, the woman who was never going to marry And would sleep with married men says this line to her own husband as she is leaving him. She is a strong woman.
• Canada
22 Jan 12
I would simply tell him that he does not deserve me, And then I'd walk away!! His affair would not be a reflection on me, it would be a reflection on him.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
Wow! Ok. If he a husband I would just stop sleeping with him. If it were a boyfriend I would leave , not because he didn't deserve me , it would be because I wasn't a good fit for him!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Jan 12
sarahruthbeth You should a lack of self esteem as what makes you think you are the flawed one? you did not c heat,he did and that shows he is flawed badly.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 12
Hatley I am flawed . If I marry I will give up any self esteem I ever had in the first place. I'm owned as wife the Only thing I can do , besides murder, is refuse to sleep with him. Once he has a mistress the pressure is off!
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Jan 12
hi sarahruthbeth If my husband had cheated on me,I would not use that corny line, I would yell " get the hell out of here and do not come back and I dont care if the door slams on your cheating butt." He would be out of the house so fast he would not know what hit him. Next he would get divorce papers and that would end that. I could forgive a lot of things but not cheating, never.I am an honest loving person and I was lucky to have an honest loving mate.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Jan 12
Wow! I'm honest and loving but that has nothing to do with what type of wife I would be. I always just assumed any husband of mine would Have to have a mistress. I wouldn't divorce him, I would just stop sleeping with him.By then I would have stopped sleeping with him anyway. I liked this line because I finally understood Why most women get so upset. I never thought I was suppose to enough for a husband! I would never try.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
22 Jan 12
Same here Hatley....don't let the door hit you in the backside on the way out....
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
22 Jan 12
If I had mate who had a love affair with another woman I would be very pissed off after I got over the shock of finding out! I probaly would ask my mate why he did it and ask if it has something to do with me. Did I do something to make you do this? I would not come out and say "I am not enough for you? You are enough for me". Knowing myself I would blame myself first, then him! Then I would divorce him or break up with him,depending on the relationship. Then I would think of doing something nasty to him! I would never do anything crazy like that!
• United States
22 Jan 12
I'm all for revenge! If I were married I wuld just stop sleeping with him and maybe have a favorite of my own!
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
22 Jan 12
sarahruthbeth22 ..I think one should feel they will be respected and be able to trust their partner. I suppose it would be normal to think one is lacking if their partner looks for someone else but it also would indicate the partners lack of character...
2 people like this
@jeetking (190)
22 Jan 12
If my spouse had an love affair with another I would say he/she is better than me.
2 people like this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
22 Jan 12
I think I would say that too if I have a husband. But I will asked him to move out. It would really be stupidity if we let ourselves be fooled and cheated by our husband.
2 people like this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
25 Jan 12
No I would not. I have been there myself. You know. Now, I did get angry and upset, but I did work it out with her. That was a mistake on my behalf. I did what I thought and was taught was the right thing to do. I believed that when you get married, you stay married and stick with your partner. Boy was I wrong. Now, as was my original ways back before I was married. I will never let it go, no will I ever fight to stay together. I would giver her her walking papers and she would be out the door. And I would see a swoosh of air behind her. LOL. So, I would never say anything except, get out.
• United States
25 Jan 12
Was I being too insensitive ? Forgive me. The type of wife I would be , a guy would have to be frigid or gay not to have another woman! I just expected it to happen as other expect they will have children. That is why it took this line from a show for me to Truly understand why women are so upset. Once i know and I'm married I just don't sleep with him ever again, Yea! But if a boyfriend cheated I would resemble you my twin , I would be off like a prom dress!
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
30 Jan 12
No, you were not being insensitive at all. Don't worry about it. I was just saying that I tried to work things out with the wife back at the time. And that was my mistake. I never should have tried to work anything out with her. But we live and we learn. I thought I knew it all back then and I thought I was above defeat. But life screws you over. And so do wives. LOL. But that is something I will never let happen ever again. Not that I would ever have to worry about that with T. She is true blue and loyal. Thats what I love about her.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 12
I love that about her too. And yes I do love her like a sister. I am so happy you two have each other. You deserve to be happy, Finally!
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
2 Mar 12
No, I'd say: "Get out of my house. Hope your illicit lover is enough for you. I'll send the papers over as soon as I get a lawyer" And I wouldn't be angry about it either. If they need someone else, they can have them. Neither one of my parents cheated on each other, nor either of my grand parents. And I know of many others. Just because people shack up with people without moral boundaries, doesn't mean they can't control themselves. There's a difference between can't and won't. People won't control themselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 12
Wow! As far as I know my parents didn't cheat either. But then again they were happy And married at the same time. But then again when they married mom stayed at home and he worked. Very traditional. Me? I never thought I would Ever have that type of marriage. So I always looked at the 18th Century aristocratic model and respected it. You are married to have an heir and then after that is done, he has his favorites and so does she. So this statement Finally got me see why many are sooo upset with a spouse having another. I just assumed another Would be necessary.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
2 Mar 12
Ok... explain this to me. You never thought you'd have that kind of marriage. Fine. But... You then say you just assumed... just assumed that someone else would be required. YET.... "As far as I know my parents didn't cheat either" Do you see my confusion? You just admitted that your father was happy with your mother. And that your mother was happy with your father. There are hundreds of marriages like this, and both you and me have first hand experience. Why then would you assume that someone would need to cheat? How did you get that idea? Did you just come up with that on your own? Were all your friends cheating on their spouses? Did you watch too many movies or something?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 12
A-ha! It may have been too many movies and soaps. Plus I never thought I would ever be loved for me. So I never thought love and marriage Should go together at least for me. To this day I Know the first thing that would happen if I were to marry is that I would shut down.Plus I never wanted children , Why Marry? Now I do know I can be loved for me but I will not marry my guy. He would hate the change that would happen if we were to marry. I love him too much to hurt him like that. I still see marriage as a trap.
@ShyBear88 (18091)
• United States
23 Jan 12
No I would say am I enough for you. Just kick him out nothing more need to be said bit bye.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 12
If it were my boyfriend I would leave. but if it were my husband, I would stay and just not sleep wuth him ever again.
@ShyBear88 (18091)
• United States
23 Jan 12
No because then my poor kids would be confused to why we are t together an liing together would cause more harm then good. I wouldn't want to cause my children harm and hurt myself more if in living with a man that doesn't want me but other women. I don't want to see him come home with another women and have my kids ask why is daddy with that women and not you.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 12
First , just because he sleeps with another does not mean he doesn't love you. Or that he wants to leave. Second , he wouldn't bring his girlfriend around.
@Rick1950 (1565)
• Lima, Peru
26 Jan 12
I'd say she's cheating on love, and likes pleasures. The same would be valid for me too. Actually it's very annoying to discover that your partner has an love affair with another. I think nobody likes to live such an experience.
• United States
26 Jan 12
I would welcome a mistress for a husband I was forced to have. But not for my boyfriend.
• United States
23 Jan 12
As far as I'm concerned, I'd better be "enough" for my guy. I don't think that he'd want any more trouble than what he already has (considering, he has an ex-wife who isn't far enough out of the picture as far as I'm concerned), so I don't think he'd be too inclined to go a-wandering. Now, he is free to check out other women as much as he wishes--as long as the rest of him doesn't follow his gaze.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 12
My mom used to point out beautiful women to my dad. I agree I want my guy to admire beauty.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
23 Jan 12
I don't expect to be everything to my husband, but I do expect to be enough. Obviously he should have friends and have other people he talks to, but he doesn't need to have an affair.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jan 12
Yes i think so,and also will hurt and woman easy to hurt.I don't know why some boys and man are not enough their love but it depends only who are faithful to each other.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
22 Jan 12
I would say......hit the road Jack because I'd better be enough for you! I don't think I would ever think of a relationship in those terms though..
1 person likes this