This is me singing In the Garden
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
January 22, 2012 6:14am CST
Okay, so last night I was enjoying a moment of singing my favorite hymn, In the Garden. At 61, I'm not the prettiest thing that came down the pike, nor do I sound the best either, but I was totally wrapped up in the moment of singing that song.
I felt so free from being let out of the prison without bars, which happened to be my mind, that I felt like singing.
I should probably be self-conscious because I'm not a singer and I'm not young and beautiful, but it really doesn't matter to me that I'm not. I'm okay with myself being the way I am. I'm me and I'm genuinely true to myself. Well, this concept of being true to myself is brand new, because I feel my inability to speak without stammering was due to the stress of NOT being real with my self. I let other people's feelings dictate how I handled my life and I just hid behind my wall of depression.
Your thoughts?
3 people like this
10 responses
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
22 Jan 12
http://www.youtube.com/user/SallyBoo2350#p/u/0/2Zy1Rjx3R0E
You may not be offered a recording contract any time soon; however, your voice was PERFECT for this song. Sometimes we just need to lose what we have in order to appreciate it...many of us take for granted what we are BLESSED to have!!! 
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jan 12
That’s true. I lost my ability to talk in church today… got to stammering, but Parker… my pastor says not to get self conscious about it. I’m glad I’m as good as I am now.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
22 Jan 12
Becoming self conscience will only make it worse!!! When it happens...stop, close your eyes, take a deep breath, hear the words in your head & start over. If you refuse to let your body take control, it will give it back to you. Try it...what you got to lose???
You are more BLESSED than you know!!! 
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jan 12
I do that. Listening to the perfect said words in my head and when the words are there I can usually get them out. I can't get them out though when there are no words in my head or when the muscles to form words won't work. When my brain won't cooperate I can't get the words out. I am blessed. Very blessed.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
30 Jan 12
I think we need to conform to society to a certain extent and I think we need to have self discipline and adhere to the behavioural standards and values that we have. Without at least some self control, we run the risk of being labelled eccentric or crazy or any number of other derogatory descriptions Now we may say we don't care what others think but this is why we behave in a way that most people will find acceptable. For instance it's one thing to break into song in your garden when no-one else is around but you wouldn't do it at the mall or supermarket without someone calling the men in white coats to come get you.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
30 Jan 12
I was in the sanctity of my room when I sang this... this was just because I was so happy to not be stammering. After about a week and a half of not being able to speak without stammering, I felt like I was let out of jail.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
28 Jan 12
I told you to be true to yourself for years
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Jan 12
I censor myself a lot when dealing with people... walking on egg shells to they don't get their feathers ruffled... I'm not going to keep doing that. If I have to do that I might as well not even be friends with them. I'm me, so people can accept me or reject me. I will still be tactful, but I'll not worry so much about not getting them mad at me.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
23 Jan 12
I think you did a wonderful job with the song also. I am proud of you for taking the time and risk of putting yourself out there. I have still not gotten to that point yet. I am still a prisoner to myself and see no change in sight yet. I think you have a pretty and precious smile and you have a great heart too. You are a good person and beautiful to me, inside and out, no matter what anyone else says!
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
23 Jan 12
Thanks Steph! I appreciate you too very much! I know when you are ready you will find a way to put yourself out there to be vulnerable to the world. It’s actually a freeing feeling to be able to do that. I’m not keeping myself a prisoner anymore.
Yes, my stammering and the apraxia and aphasia came back while in church today and has come back on and off today, but it is good to know there is nothing dangerously wrong with me… it’s just how my brain handles stress.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
24 Jan 12
I agree with you Pose. I have to be true to myself or I'm just living in shadow.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
28 Jan 12
Dear PQ its great you see your value and build your self esteem......
Similar here I am doing something for my self esteem now for a bit over half a year and its the first time in my life I say I enjoy life and life is great.
For me it was due to a very stressful personal situation changing in 2011 and I feel that I will need a loooong time to catch up on l i v i n g
Its sort of like people feel when they have just graduated and they have dreams hopes and plans and they feel the world is theirs. Thats what I feel like now with almost 50
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Jan 12
I'm so glad that you are enjoying life now. I am beginning to enjoy mine ... I hope to get out more than I do.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
22 Jan 12
I think you are at the point to realize you do as you wish it's your life and you have no one to impress. Sadly we spend our teenage years and a portion of our 20's trying to impress people and not be ourselves. I love to sing when the mood strikes me.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
23 Jan 12
I enjoy singing too, even if I'm not great at it. I can Lise myself into the song. This song is my favorite one.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Jan 12
some how ive missed the link. i see others have seen this one. i saw the others. anyway, ive asked on one of my discussions about youtube. do you actually get money to put things up there? how does that work? if i looked as good as you, i would put a pic up of me now the way i look today. but im thinking my family is all that can stand me now,
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
22 Jan 12
Dear Sally
I have watched the video you shared, it was nice to see you and hear your voice
At times singing relieves the stress in us, it acts kind of remedy..
When i feel too sad and stressed, you know I and kalyani have health issues, then i sing devotional songs, we call them, 'bhajans'..
thnxs for sharing..
Best of luck.
Professor
At times singing relieves the stress in us, it acts kind of remedy..
When i feel too sad and stressed, you know I and kalyani have health issues, then i sing devotional songs, we call them, 'bhajans'..
thnxs for sharing..
Best of luck.
Professor
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jan 12
Dearest Professor,
Thank you so much for watching. I feel like I’ve been reborn. I want to live my life differently than I have prior to this period where I couldn’t talk. That was the longest week in my life of being trapped in my head. I felt like praising God and I did so with that song. I don’t want to hide anymore. I put my picture up as my avatar, so everyone can see me and know me.
