what should i do?

January 22, 2012 1:07pm CST
hi friends she was my classmate........we know eachother since last twelve years......she knows i like her too much......two months back i proposed her..........and i directly asked her will you marry me....she kept mum.....i was frozen and was simply looking at her, she didnt reply anything.......i think i was wrong i should have told her "i love you" after sometime....question of marry me......... now whenever she crossed dont even look at me.....i thought i made a mistake but if dont like me you tell me very clearly......i know she is single and not in love with anyone....and if she has any problem she can discuss with.....but she looking at.....talking is so far but previously it was not like this she used to talk with me hours and hours suddenly what happened to her? this is big question in front of me.......now what should i do? i have true love for her.......and i dont wanna loose her.........i directly wanna speak with her dad but i dont want to create any problm for her.........
11 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
22 Jan 12
I will say this straight away: how on earth or what makes you think you can say to a complete stranger: Will you marry me???? If anyone would do that to me I would think he would keep me for an idiot. This is something you do if you have a relationship with someone already. Not if you never spoke to someone. Being a classmate is not the same as knowing someone. I also find it weird you want to speak to her dad if she is NOT even look at you anymore. Don't find this a weird thing to do? Don't you have any respect for her and her wishes? If you really want to know how she feels about you, about your proposol the only way is to go over to her, speak to her and listen! And please do it somewhere privately. I would NEVER get married to someone who asked my father/parents first.
22 Jan 12
thank you i am in such big depression and its not like she dont know me we were friends for 12yrs i agree to you but i/she are not stragers for eachother......as i told here she used to speak with for hours and hours can over the phone call or in school and collage...........and she knew i love her since childhood then why such bad responce.....
• Netherlands
22 Jan 12
Because you tell a different story now. Then (again) I can only advise you this: go and talk to her (not to the dad). Big chance she doesn't know if this was a serious question or just a joke (don't know how or where you asked her). Show her you mean it seriously and if you dare: do it again in a private, romantic, proper way and wait for the answer. Nothing wrong with telling her you like to have an answer. Might be too she feels confused. You will only find out if you go over and take your chance. I wish you luck.
22 Jan 12
thank you kitty for sure i will do as you told here.......thanks being my friend here and to give first responce to my first discussion.......i will meet her and ask her if this is right time or i will wait till right time.......
@ritzz07 (791)
• India
22 Jan 12
hi mithun as i know you,you are very shy type of buy and hesitates to speak with girls and also you area man of few words this happens.......but what people have suggested you here is correct follow the instructions..... thank you have a great day ahead!!!!
@ritzz07 (791)
• India
22 Jan 12
what luciano and wakeupkitty has suggested is the best you can do as i am a boy i cannot get what a girl can after your action.......
• France
23 Jan 12
Thanks Ritzz07, to wait is the best thing to do...it is a bit like a game...do not show all your cards at once...one at the time according to reaction.
@Micmac (6761)
22 Jan 12
Well, you are getting the silent treatment after your proposal to your classmate. It looks like she is not ready for marriage and doesn't want to be tied down yet. Since she is ignoring you, I think she is giving you the message to leave bye gones and forget her. Talking to her Dad, is heresay; you are not marrying her Dad. :D
22 Jan 12
hi micmac you are correct she is giving silent responce in your language treatment......i think she is not ready for marriage and may want to continue her study.......as i know she want to do mba,,,,,
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
27 Jan 12
Never talk to her Dad because she will hate you if she does not now. You should tell her that you love her and want to have a close relationship with her. By the way you describe here, your relationship with her is just friendship, not romance. You cannot ask a girl to marry you before you romance her. Maybe you can talk to her to start your relationship with something more serious than friendship.
@mselin (77)
• India
23 Jan 12
Do talk to her before you even approach her dad. Leave her dad alone. It will complicate the matters. You know her well. You feel that she took it as a joke or she feels embarrassed about the situation. something of that sort. Any ways talk to her. Even if she ignores you, just tell her that you are sorry if you hurt her feelings, but would like to talk to her. Get her to talk to you first. May be you were wrong and she never realized that you liked her. Talk to her. Make sure of what went wrong
@sumatix (258)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Jan 12
why don't you talk to your parents first and then you can ask your parents to talk to her's.Are you rady for marriage in every term like are you having financial stablity, good job, home, are you ready to take the responsibilities of a family?If yes go to her family and talk to them you will get your answer as i don;t think so that she do not like you as she has been talking to you before. may be she can not decide on her own about answering your question or may be its not her who will decide about her marriage..
@vt689586 (585)
• India
23 Jan 12
it is very difficult to give answer when anyone directly ask to you Will you marry me? it looking kind of joke.might be her thoughts about you are different and may be she likes you not love you. i suggest you to go again in-front of her and discuss all the things that you have in your mind. then you know what is going on in hers mind.other wise you will never try to understand her.
• India
23 Jan 12
hello friend....well friend first of all i would like to tell you that there is a lot of difference in love and infatuation.Infatuation can prevail any time but love takes its own to meet and talk time and space.So i feel that one should not make therse delicate decisions so quickly and the other thing is that i dont think if she actually loves you because as you say that you knew her for the last twelve years and it does not take so long to understand each others feeling for so long. somewhere i feel that there is love bond feelings between the two of you so the best thing is to meet and talk to her frankly and if you still dont find any response then it will be most wise on your part to forget her. have a nice day..
• India
23 Jan 12
so simple dude, she loves you too but she is afraid of few people around her like her family members or from some friends. This may happen with a shy gal so just wait and watch for a good response or may be she is checking your passions also.....
@Luciano63 (157)
• France
22 Jan 12
Hi, what happened to you happened to me too when I was in school about 30 something years ago...so now after different experiences I tell you what I think I learned. However I never asked a lady to marry me!!! I did it at the age of 38 to my actual wife. 1. in general in school in the same class if the magic from both sides does not starts at once it is difficult that my begin because girls that love to talk to us about their problems see us as a good trusty friend to talk to. He likes me he will listen to me I can count on him. For us men this attitude is confusing because specially at young age we did not understand how really is women way of thinking. 2. men when they are in love they become very passionate about the idea of being with the one thay love virtually...we dream about her and when we talk to her we see her almost like our girl. This is a mistake that provokes us a state of pain...we suffer, we try to decifrate every single eyes expression to understand if she is liking us in that moment, if our behaviour was appreciated and why. because she really loves me too? Because I am just a friend for her? This is wrong too! We are concentrated on us and how to perform to be appreciated and loved and WE DO NOT listen to her or see her for how she really is! Women feel this attitude a lot faster and better than us! So watch out do not be too servant she is just an human being like you...is she with you the same way? NO probably not than...do not overwork your behaviour it is useless. 3. Specially today never start with I want to marry you! You get banned by the person! What to do now? 1. do not show too much interest in her, lets say you understood she is not that interested in you so you will wait wisely and see if with the time she will start searching for you. The best way is to wait and not to search! 2. do not show yourself sad, this will ban you again, be cool, normal, be nice and educated, if she asks for a favour do it for her be nice...BUT do not tell her YES every time! Sometimes you MUST say no...sorry i can't. 3. do not send 1000 of sms messages on her phone....just do not send messages...lets see if she will send you one and what she will write. 4. in general a forced relationship is a failure so...take life differently, remember that if a door is closed on your face there are other 3 ready to be open for you! Good luck!
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
22 Jan 12
I think you should leave her alone ..... Well ..... actually you made bad move when you try create love relationship with someone. You can't suddenly said "would you marry me" to her even you know her more than twelve year ..... there is possibilities she don't know you personally. You supposed to get closed to her first, dating her for couples of time and then when time is right, say "I love you" Right now she afraid with you (you scaring her .... what you expect). Forcing your move make situation even worse. The only way that I can think right now is you should apologized to her and start your move from very beginning again.