What about you guys?

Broken Heart - broken heart
@ipanks (890)
Indonesia
January 23, 2012 12:03am CST
I became acquainted with a girl 10 years ago, let's called her name A, she lives (lets call it the city of DA) and I live in city of DB. By the time we met, she was 18 years old and I am 24 years. We met through chat programs, actually I was met by her friend but her friend gave to A my mobile number, and finally I became acquainted with A. For 10 years, we've lost contact for almost a few months but finally we can get in touch again through short message or telephone. In 10 years we have increasingly close in that relationship, which in the beginning we were both just as the brother and sister, but eventually from time to time, we fell in love, but we have never met even once. We just knew from voice itself. Actually, our religion is different, I asked her if she wanted to move into the religion I profess, and she said no problem to move into my religion. I say that if we have a good intention and sincere to continue this relationship up to the wedding, then we both will be given a way by the Lord's. And day by day, our relationship become more deep and I asked her to married with me but she still hesitated, and finally I said better we continue as it is just like what she want and continued to pray that we can be united in marriage. But in January 2012 yesterday, she showed a different attitude, and in fact this has been going about a month which is between November-December 2011 but I do not matter and I never ask why. But in January 2012 yesterday, her attitude already looks different than normal, and finally I venture to ask her about this. She answered nothing happen to me, but after I begged to be truthful, she said that she had been asked by her friend to get married with him. Her friend was working in the town of DC, and her friend said that he has a target to marry with A in next year. I do not know what to say, A said that she affection, and love me, but she hesitated to proceed with our relationship especially after a friend asked her to marry, his doubts grew. I am attempting to ask, is there any possibility for me to marry her? She replied, there are no chance possibility for us because we are different and we've talked before. I am more confused by her manner that seemed to play a love triangle between the three of us, while I still want to ask her to marry me but she said that she was hesitant and unsure. Maybe I was a foolish man in the world, who still dreams to be able to marry her while there is a principle difference between us, I really can not forget the affection and my love for her. And now she 28 years old and I am almost 34 years. Maybe if my condition was like her, I'm also going to be like her, I was just trying to understand as I can, and I can only pray to God, if indeed she is my wife for the rest of my life, please make her close to me, so I can really hold her in my shoulder, unite us in a wedding and help us to get out for past obstacles.Aaamin
5 responses
@cruride (66)
• United States
23 Jan 12
Has she been in another reationship with this man? Do you know if she saw yor relationship as possible only a friendship in which she loved you in that capacity? There maybe a sense of miscommunication amongst the three of you.
1 person likes this
@soulist (2985)
• United States
24 Jan 12
That was the same thing I was asking myself. Was she in a relationship with the other man? What else would be a reason for him to ask her to marry him and does he know about you? There seems to be a lot of holes in it and seems to be some miscommunication as cruride has stated. Have you meet this young lady in person if not that is another thing.
@ipanks (890)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
i don't know about that, but i only know that she really love me. and to prove that, i have a plan in the middle of this year, i want to visit her, talk to her and i want to ask her to make serious relationship. maybe this year would be my last chance to get this girl and i want to trying as possible as i can.thank you for your comment.
@mselin (77)
• India
23 Jan 12
All these years you never met her? May be that is why she is turning away from you. May be started feeling that you are simply playing with her and do not want to settle down actually. If she loves you as you as you say she would want to marry you. Go meet her talk to her. Give her a particular date by which you are planning to get married. If you really love her go for it. forget differences in principles or whatever.
1 person likes this
@ipanks (890)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
yes i never met her, but in deep of my heart i really want to meet her, talk personally that what i am saying is true, and i will want to introduce myself to her parents and asking her to really marry me. but its back into religion again, because in our country religion become sensitive matters when man and woman wants to get marry. if any of these was not same religion then its need to discuss for a long time and many of these couple was not get approve from their parents, just because different of religion.thank you for your comment.
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
24 Jan 12
phew!! Thats a lot to deal with. Its sad that things seem to be taking a turn Im sure. I really would not suggest for you to try to force this on her. Especially since she seems upset and highly confused as you basically said. If she is really thinking about it and maybe thats what she wants. Then she will come around especially if she doesnt seem forced. No one likes to be made to do anything and feel pressured into a certain direction. ~C~
@ipanks (890)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
yes, i know about that, no one wants to be forced to do something that she don't like. let's see later. thank you for your comment, i really appreciate it.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 12
I think you should hold one in your arms, not in your shoulder. Also what I don't understand is why you never took the time in all these years to visit her. To meet her life. Or did you? Also I wonder why she had to change into your religion? Why didn't you offer her to change into her religion? Why is your religion, the way you are raised so more important as hers??? I think that if you really love her so much as you say you would have gone to visit her, see if your phone/text feelings are right. You would have offer her the world, even give up your religion for her. You didn't do anything of this. You are or were just a friend she could text, not real. Then someone shows up in real life. Someone who is not asking her to give up her religion. someone who knows what she looks like and he is asking her to marry her as well. And probably more men will. You preferred to stay in your dream world. Asking her to give up what is important to her but not investing yourself or making any sacrifice. Just sitting there and praying and hoping god would solve your problem. You are nearly 34 years old. In my eyes you are a guy without any character at all. A man you can't count on. If you really love her I would strongly advice you to pay her a visit as soon as possible.
1 person likes this
@ipanks (890)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
ok i should hold one in my arms. i never to visit her because we have long distance we separate by many island but in one country and to go in there was not cheap, and if i visit her,where do i live while i am in her town? i do not have much money now to be stay for long time even in just for 3 days. but i would to go visit her in the mid this year and talk to her. i did ask her how if i change my religion but she never give the answer yet and not talk much about this, but she was told me that if she would not mind and no problem if she change her religion into mine. but after she's been asked to get married by her friend, then i think she think twice about changing religion. i realize that i am dreaming about asking a girl to marry, even we both never meet at all. thank you very much for your advice, its open my eyes if i am making mistake after this 10 years :( phew. maybe this is one chance in my whole life to do something to get this girl, to show what i am saying is true. thank you for your comment.
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but maybe he loves her friend more.. Because I have a friend and a classmate once since my elementary years. she is my best friend. As we grow up, I realized that i love her because i feel that i am hurt when any boys would be with her... Maybe, for all the the time she spent on his friend, she must have loved him... For religion sake, sometimes barrier comes.. She's might be afraid what would happen to her if she changes her religion.. It is so difficult to change religion because it is the religion you are born of.. Time will come, you sure do find someone you can love most than her...
@ipanks (890)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
i don't know about, because if i ask about this she will answer that she do not know about her feeling. and yes in my country, religion will become barrier for two couple that have different each other :(
• Philippines
25 Jan 12
I don't believe that she do not know what she feels about you.. If she loves, she must have told you that.. I think she is just confused and anxious because maybe she thinks and telling herself "Do I love this guy who I don't even seen and talk in personal? Maybe that why....