When both the parents work

@samu64 (98)
India
January 23, 2012 1:23am CST
We both work in various organizations and we meet only in the weekends.This situation is affecting my children.They feel very lonely sometimes.As a result my son is becoming introvert and hardly shares anything with us.He don't share his feelings and this is a very alarming situation.We are trying our best to control this situation.I try to spend more time with him and this method worked somehow but I am unable to stay with him always as I work in a far place outside. Drop in your suggestions regarding this and help me.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 12
I don't think this only happens with two parents working. It also depends on the kind of kid you have. The most important thing is that you share quality time together. I think that might be hard since you will need some time for you and your partner too if you are not working. What my ex and I did with 1 daughter was this. Every other weekend one of us was spending some hours with her (on Saturday) alone. This was her quality time. My son is different. more lack of self esteem and kind of isolated because he is more intelligent as the other kids in his class and his interests are on a complete different level as well. There was a moment he felt very lonely but also thought he was a big ZERO. So I gave him cards and told him to write down everything he is good at. Doesn't matter if others share that opinion too but it counts what he thinks. This helped him a lot. He is joining a new school now. Longer days. Piano lessons on Thursdays and extra English lessons on Tuesday. At the time he is back home there is less free time. Enough to do his homework, play a bit before dinner. Once or twice a week he is going to visit a friend or that friend is at our house. On Saturdays it's scouting day on Sunday mornings swimming. The feeling of lonelyness is hard. I don't know if you can take it away. Perhaps kind of life schedule will make it easier for them to live and to look forward to the times you are together.
@samu64 (98)
• India
23 Jan 12
Children want to be always engaged doing interesting things in their early days and parents should give them more time to do such things like what you have stated in your very practical response.
• Grand Junction, Colorado
23 Jan 12
It is very difficult when both parents work. The best advise that I can give is that the time you have together making it quality time. Make one day a week at a set time that you all sit down to dinner together and make it family night. This means no phone calls, no unexpected visitors, watch a movie together with a bowl of popcorn. Make it fun and exciting. During dinner share with each other. Plan little outings even if it's just going to a park on a nice sunny afternoon. Kids just want reassurance that all is ok and that you miss them when your away. If the problem is as bad as it sounds you may want to go to the pediatrician and discuss children shouldn't become introvert just because their parents work and their could be an underlying issue. I worked off and on with all my children and they have grown up to be strong independent individuals. I still have one at home but she seems quite confident. I know longer work outside the home.
@samu64 (98)
• India
23 Jan 12
I want to give quality time and more love to my children so that they will not feel lonely and rejected.Thanks for nice advice of sharing quality time with our children.
@youless (93525)
• Guangzhou, China
26 Jan 12
This is a difficult situation. Of course the double payment is better for a family. And the education also charges a lot. This is why usually both parents need to go to work to ensure a better lives. On the other hand, of course they can't take good care of the children since they have to work. It is just like my situation. My parents help me to take care of our child. We will see him at night and we will stay together until he goes to sleep. We will go out with him in weekends. We try to stay with him more time. I love China
@yanzalong (10174)
• Indonesia
24 Jan 12
It is one of family problems. Many married couples with children face this dilemma. In some families, wives can still bring the children to work. This is a bit better. Children need parents' attention by being close to them not in terms of buying them toys or clothes. Spending more time with them help children feel secured. If I may suggest, one of you should give up working for the sake of your children. Or find work from home job, if that's possible.
@sharone74 (4839)
• United States
24 Jan 12
Your son's introverted personality may actually have nothing or very little to do with your working outside the home. You are not the first parents in history that both work to support your household. Do women in your country traditonally stay home with their families rather than working for a wage to help support your household? Is two working parents an unusual circumstance? The best that you can do is love your children with all your heart and make sure that they know they are loved.
• India
23 Jan 12
The best is that the parents make time for their kids but the other thing you can do is share a common house with your sister or someone like that who also have kids, it really depends on your relationship with them but if many kids are together they may be a difficult bunch to manage but they will not be alone and growing up together with many kids is really enjoying for a kid and it boosts their confidence too to tackle the world!!