Should you tell your ex partner where you are going to be living?
By oscarbartoni
@oscarbartoni (2581)
United States
January 25, 2012 8:26pm CST
I told the woman that I have been living with for the last few years that I am moving out and that I do not want her to try to find me(I did nothing wrong to the house or her). He mother owns the house and had me sign a rent lease that included me paying for the utilities for the whole house plus she wanted me to move out all of my fish tanks especially if they were empty. I do not know how she will continue to live in the house because there is no one down stairs to pay any part of the rent and she does not work or bring in any money. I told her years ago that she needed to bring in money so that I could have some kind of saving and not go from pension check to pension check (once a month) and not know if I could stretch my money that far. She says that money is not that big a deal but to me it is because if there is an emergency, I could not afford to pay that plus my regular bills. I do not want her to come to where I live and harass me or those that are living with me.
2 people like this
7 responses
@soulist (2985)
• United States
31 Jan 12
I dont think you should tell an ex where you are living unless you are still friends with them and don't mind spending time with them. It sounds in this case I wouldn't tell her where I lived. If there is the chance of her coming to harass you for anything then definitely not. When you moved out, would you be breaking the lease, that plays a part in it as well.
@oscarbartoni (2581)
• United States
1 Feb 12
I gave my 30 day notice which I was required to do. When I told her mother that , her mother thought that I was going to move her daughter with me. It was a big shock and then the daughter asked how I could do this to her. I told her that she had plenty of time to start bringing in money instead of me paying for everything. I also asked her why she had opened some of my mail (and not given it tome) and wrote letters to the people that sent the get well card to me. These letters were bad mouthing me. They were to people in big organizations that I belong to.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
28 Jan 12
I'd say depends on the ex and previous relationship
my stbx and I always argued when we were married
as soon as I got a new place and he saw me packing he changed
I guess he knew then that I mean it. I am really leaving.
ever since he wants me back and always offering to help with big things such as moving and small things like grocery
I don't have a car and can't afford it yet so sometimes I take his offer and I am willing to keep it amicable, avoid countless bickering, as long as we keep our promise to each other
he only comes if I allow him to and I never set foot in the house or take anything from the house without his consent
if your ex can't keep it civil, I don't see the need to tell her your new address
or even keep in touch other than for legal issues
strange her mother owns the house and you are the only one charged for rent?
I am guessing her mother will allow her sell the house or rent it to someone else after you leave
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
26 Jan 12
Hi there Oscar,
Oh absolutely not. If you don't have children together then I say just make a clean break. She sounds like a mooch and you owe her nothing. I don't know about that lease that you signed but it sounds unreasonable and I'm thinking that a judge would agree but I'm not sure. You should never have signed something like that but I'm sure you know that now. Are the utilities in your name? If so, make sure you get them switched over or off.
@rainbow913 (33)
• United States
26 Jan 12
It is wise not to tell her to keep you away from trouble.
@shimi18 (98)
• Philippines
26 Jan 12
Hello! so, is she officially your EX partner now? I mean, You've parted your ways? Officially? well, if you are, I guess, your no longer or you are not obliged to inform her where you will be living. You are starting a new life without her, so for now you might not want to tell her first where will you be, and if everything's fine and settled in the near future, then maybe you could meet sometimes and eventually maybe she could visit you where you are.(If, evrything is settled. as in everything.)Coz if everything is messed up yet, It might get worse, so you better gather up your self first. You have to fix all the mess first.:)
