Is It Easy For You to Forgive and Forget?

Philippines
January 27, 2012 6:44pm CST
Forgiving and forgetting one's wrongdoing are one of the hardest things to do, especially if that someone who has wronged you is a close/best friend or a relative. I think the hardest to forgive and forget has to do with the betrayal of trust. For me, if the pain is fresh, I cannot immediately forgive and forget. Time heals wounds, and when the wounds are healed, forgiving the oppressor and forgetting the act will follow. It has taken years for me to have finally forgive and forget and it's a good feeling to finally have peace within and with the persons I had conflicts with. It's hard to harbor ill-feelings, grudges, anger and hatred because your life and health will be affected throughout. It's difficult, but it's much easier to live life if we let go...and let God How about you? Is it easy for you to forgive and forget? Have a nice day!
3 people like this
18 responses
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
28 Jan 12
Forgiving and forgetting are so xclosely related and yet can be so far apart. I found have the art of forgiveness comes quite easily to me. Forgiveness is a part of healing and I think it is very imporetant to learn to forgive others and yourself as well. forgetting is a bit more difficult. Noi matter how hard you may try to put an incident or event or even a person out of your mind, it can remain for a long time. sometimes forgetting can cause more pain than ther forgiveness can.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
I agree with what you said - forgive others and yourself. There was one time I wish I have amnesia so I'll be able to forget all the pains, but then when the wounds are healed they don't matter anymore... so no need for amnesia Thanks, sender, for sharing your valuable opinion/thoughts on this.
• United States
28 Jan 12
Depends upon the circumstances. Some people can forgive very easily and others take a long time or hold grudges forever. Forgetting is another story. No one really forgets. The trick is if you do forgive someone you have to leave the past to the past and think forward without bringing up old arguments, fights or disagreements. That is easier said than done for some. I believe I do forgive quickly but not instantly either. Everyone needs time to cool down before they can think straight again if they were hurt or hit in the emotional soul of their being. Be Happy!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
You did not really forgive if you still bring up the old arguments and fights. Yes, there are people who can easily forgive even someone who has murdered their child (seen on tv some time ago) maybe because holding grudges forever will never help, besides it doesn't bring back or repair any damage that has been done (or life that has been taken away). Thanks for your valuable response, CIMP!
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
time will tell when to forget and to forgive, we cant force ourself as it might only add pain. time will heal it though scar will stay but we can use that scar to avoid it from happening again atleastwe already have our limitations. we cant keep hatred for long as it will also affect our happiness, we cant be free and happy with hatred in the past so better let go of it first. in due time we will forget about it and once we found new one and we feel so happy and contented with it then thats the time we forgive coz we are already happy.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Very well said, homeshoppers. Yes, we can't force ourselves. In due time and with God's help, we can forgive and then forget. Thanks, homeshoppers.
28 Jan 12
forgiveness is from the heart. forgiveness takes time, when you are ready. You forgive so you can move on, you do it for yourself. God asks us to forgive just like we ask God to forgive us our sins. sometimes too you can forgive and move away from that person, and continue on with your life because life is short. As for forgetting, it is not always easy. Time heals. It makes things better. It makes things not so significant after a while. pray about it.
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
Right. We can't be forgiven if we don't forgive others. Thank you for your valuable and helpful response, readerme.
@shrike (123)
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
hi! you are really true, it is hard to forgive and forget, we really need time for it.. at least by the right time you learn to forgive that person. it happens to me to not so long ago,, maybe i can say that i already forgave her but inside me it still hurts when i think of those things she had done. so maybe i don't totally forgave her.. one thing is she is still the same person after what happened. she doesn't even bother to change for the better but she stays as she is. that's what i really hate. how can i forgave a person when she doesn't show she is forgivable. maybe she thinks that she was right..i hope one day, she'll realize then she will come to me asking for forgiveness
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
We do need to forgive and forget, not necessarily now, but eventually when we are ready then we should. Even if the person who hurt us doesn't come to us to ask for forgiveness, it is still up to us to forgive and forget. In my experience and in what I have observed, when we forgive, it's not only ourselves that are being released from some kind of emotional(spiritual, too) bondage but also the one who has hurt us. It's not easy to forgive and then to forget, we need God's help to do them. Thanks, shrike, for sharing!
@dodo19 (34311)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
28 Jan 12
I think that it depends. I find that some things are easier to forgive than others. At least, this is something that I've noticed. I can't speak for everyone, but I find that this does seem to be the case.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
Yes, there are things that we can easily shrug off and then move on. But things like being accused of something, physically or verbally abused, etc., are some of the most hurtful things that happen to a person and to some, they find it hard to forgive and forget. Thanks, dodo, for sharing your opinion
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
Hi neelia! Forgiving and forgetting is not an easy thing to do. But time matters most in here. I cannot easily forgive and forget especially if the oppressor intends to do it and the reason is not at all a trivial matter. Well, for petty things, I would just shrug them off my shoulders and pray for them. But if the culprit has hidden agenda and did the same thing repeatedly, I would surely bounce back and do the same thing to get even.
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
Yes, it's not an easy thing to do. Forgiving your enemies is the hardest thing to do. Don't get even, just give them a piece of your mind and let them know what you feel. Thanks, visminda! Hope you are having a lovely weekend :)
@Mashnn (4503)
28 Jan 12
As much as I try to forgive and forget, I find that it is easy to forgive but not to forget especially if what was done to me was very awful.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
It's not really easy to forget. But when the painful memory arises, the hatred and anger we have felt should have been gone because we have already forgiven. Thanks for the response, Mashnn.
@Mashnn (4503)
29 Jan 12
That is why I hope and wish I can be able to forgive and to forget at the same time.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
And I wish that, too Well, the memory might still be there but at least it will never have to affect us at all. Cheers!
• United States
1 Feb 12
It's not easy to forgive, but as a Christian, it's something I believe we should do. Forgetting is harder though.
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Right, it is something we should do. But there are people, even Christians, who say they have forgiven but deep inside they didn't really forgive. Thanks, Rev! Happy mylotting
@Micmac (9765)
28 Jan 12
It's not easy for me. Though I'm trying. It certainly takes time and patience to forgive and forget. I think being merciful is a trait that will help forgiving some one's wrongdoing. If we consider that God forgives sins, then it will not be hard to treat someone else the same way when facing conflicts with them.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Yes, you are absolutely right. God forgives so we also should. Thanks, Micmac, for a very wise input.
28 Jan 12
hello. i think this is similar to the discussion I have started. however let me also share my point of view. we dont forget. we only learn to accept and then forgive and then move on.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Very well said. Thanks for the response, bb!
@Rick1950 (1577)
• Lima, Peru
28 Jan 12
It's not easy. So far I'm remebering the offense it's tough to forget it. But I think people who are able to forgive and forget are great, because, I think, they achieve the peace, and peace is important for living. Besides I'm aware I should forgive because I myself commit offenses too and I'd like that these were forgotten.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
I also admire those who are able to forgive and even forget. I agree that we should forgive to be forgiven also. Thanks, Ricki, for sharing your views.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
28 Jan 12
hi, I can’t be upset or angry with my loved ones for a long time. But if other person is wrong, I do make him/her realize that their act did hurt me and he/she should be more careful the next time. And I always try to solve the issues immediately and no carry forward and I don’t start any conflicts all by myself talking about old issues. It is not an easy task and the person who’s doing wrong should be forgiven and if required punished too, so the mistakes are not repeated. Someone doing good to me is never forgotten and I don’t want to remember something bad that person has done.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
It does remind me, why are good deeds much easier forgotten than the bad ones? And yes, I agree with you. Thanks for the response. Happy mylotting!
@prinzcy (5055)
• Malaysia
28 Jan 12
I can easily forgive but I won't easily forget. Regardless of what others say, I took quite a long time to forget something and even longer if I was hurt badly. It's like physical injury that's leaving scar, it's hard to get rid of something like that.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
You are right. Forgetting something is not easy. I think maybe they're not easily forgotten because sometimes they remind us of a lesson in the past, it depends though. Thanks, prinzcy, for sharing
@yahnee (1250)
• Philippines
28 Jan 12
Yes, I easily forgive and forget because I don't want to live with bitterness in my heart. It may not be immediate since being a normal person, I would be angry and disappointed for a while. However, forgiving and forgetting does not mean that I will be giving back the same trust and respect and love if the person happens to be the one I am in a relationship. Time will heal all wounds s they say but the scars will always be reminder of the past.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Right. Some people I know live with bitterness in their hearts and love reminiscing the time when this person or that person have done hurtful things to them. It's not good. Isn't it too sad when a person almost has spent half of his life dwelling on the bitterness of the past then will just let go when he feels his nearing the end of it? Anyways, thanks a lot, yahnee, for the valuable response.
• Kenya
28 Jan 12
Forgiving and forgeting the betrayal of trust given to a person is not easy as switching a light. You can forgive but it takes time to forget.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
If we can even forget about it The memory might remain forever but it's not something we should dwell on. But it's still best to forget what has been done, and it takes time as you say. Thanks for the response
• Malaysia
28 Jan 12
I agree with your opinion.Forgiving is notoriously difficult, but it can bring peace to us.Its might not be a salve for all wrongs but when you give forgiveness not to revenge,so we can live life more peaceful.Its hard but its works.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
You are right, jupijupi! Life is short so we should forgive, then make peace with others and even ourselves, then enjoy life Thanks!
@dilrajj57 (1759)
• Pakistan
28 Jan 12
it is easy to say, but practically it is looking very hard.
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
Yes, it's easier said than done. But no matter how long it takes for us to forgive and forget, we should have to, because we free ourselves from the past, the pain, and the sin of not forgiving others. Cheers! Thanks, dilrajj!