Making The Big Move

United States
January 28, 2012 10:51pm CST
In a few days I am making the move to Texas to be with my mother who is suffering from Lupus disease and has caused Autoimmune Hepatitis Disease where the body is attacking the liver. The disease is terminal and my dad was laid off from the job that he had health insurance coverage for her and now she can't go see her doctor as well as continue getting her prescription that was making her feel better. There is no cure, however, her doctor told her that if she took the medication she could live up to an extra 10 to 15 years. Without it, he wouldn't give an answer and just said "you need the medicine". So now I am making the move to Texas to be with my mother and help her through this. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to handle this and I'm going to break down. I'm a guy, I should be stronger but I can feel that it's getting harder to handle. I need some advice on how to deal with this.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
29 Jan 12
First of all I don't think you are not strong but you are realistic. You wrote down what is going on and what the situation is like. It's normal to be scared since you don't know what you can expect. It's useless to be angry because there is no health insurance or to speculate what, if you mother would be able to use these meds. There is also no guarantee that she would live up 10-15 years longer with meds. There is just too much that can happen if you have Lupus. Also ask yourself if it's about the quality of life or the quantity of life? What counts more? djshocker, the only thing I can advice you is to live by the day or even by the moment. Treasure the good moments and stay focused on that (not if you will make it or will break down). There is nothing wrong with showing your feelings or being sad or scared. These are feelings you should talk about, even with your mother if possible. Since this is something you have in common.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 12
You mentioned something that reminded me of something funny my mother and I did about 10 years ago. You said "Treasure the good moments and stay focused on that" I was 16 at the time and got home from school. My mother had her Cher CD playing and it started playing "I Got You Babe" by Sonny & Cher. What did we do? She grabbed her hairbrush and put her arm around me and we swayed back and forth to the beat singing that song into hairbrushes. lol :-) You just made me smile remembering that.
• United States
31 Jan 12
:) those are good memories to have. you still have time to make more memories. i know some people in my circle that live with lupis and they still lead a productive life.
• United States
29 Jan 12
first thing is to pray to God. put everything in His hands. then help your mother get medicaid, since your father was laid off, she should qualify. find a motivation to keep her spirits up. if she's been walking in God's light, pray together. find a devotional book, read it everyday. i take care of a lady that was told that she'd be nothing but a vegeatable after her accident. it's been 4 years now, she's still on the road to recovery. we make improvements every day and we believe that God is healing her every day. that there's a reason for everything but is not ours to ask the why. it is for us to believe and have faith and trust in Him. I pray for you and your parents that God will heal and bless all of you.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 12
She has an appointment for Medicaid in a few weeks and I am praying that she gets it. She's never had very much luck getting any kind of medical assistance. I feel like insurance companies and other assistance programs just deny those that have conditions so they don't have to pay out the expensive costs of medications, visits, treatments etc. And that's great news for the lady you're taking care of. I've seen miracles like that many times before. God does work miracles.
• United States
31 Jan 12
we'll pray for you and your family that all goes well. i understand about the medical assistance. when we've needed it in the past, we were always turned down. don't give up hope yet.
@tatzkie23 (773)
• Philippines
29 Jan 12
hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your mom and your dad. I know something about Lupus, We studied it before, and yes, it will affect her body if this persist. I know that you are in a crisis now, but hold on to yourself. You are strong and you know that. You can handle this, just be there with your mom. Support her with all your efforts. You mother needs someone to lean on. So be there with her. I'll pray for you mom.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 12
Thank You!
@maximax8 (27334)
• United Kingdom
29 Jan 12
I feel so very sorry for you, your mom and your dad. Well done for moving back to Texas to be with your poorly mom. She needs to have the medication but it sounds very expensive. It is very sad that your dad has lost his job. It is awful that the health insurance was linked to that job of his. Your mom should try to see a doctor less often and get her hands on as much of the medication to keep her alive as possible. It is terrible that medical appointments and medicine cost lots in America. I live in England and we have the National Health Scheme. Good luck. The best thing will be if your dad gets another job and you and him pay for your mom's medication.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 12
Thank you for your blessing It costs $300 for the medication that she needs. Not only that, but the type of medication she needs (I forget the name) she has to be monitored while she's taking it because it runs the risk of further damage in some people and has to visit the doctor regularly for tests. Those visits are $150 per visit. I'm not familiar with National health scheme. What's that?
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Hey there djshoker, I feel for you man, if i am put in the same position with my mom i think i would also break down, but this will only be for an hour or 2 since you mom needs you to be strong for her and help her get through this you can do it man one step at a time and pray a lot!