My Nerves Have Gotten The Best of Me...

Jacksonville, Florida
January 30, 2012 5:40pm CST
I am getting so frustrated with still not hearing if my husband's workers comp will be going through. We have no gas for my husband to even get to therapy on Wednesday so guess we will be skipping that. Were still stuck in this place I cannot stand where our kids are not treated the greatest. I cannot get a job because we have no gas for me to get there each day. My husband and I are fighting more because we have no money and we are sooo stressed! I have not even been sleeping at night because my nerves are shot so bad. Were supposed to find out about his comp sometime this week but hes already been out of work for two months!! Anyone else stressed? Or need to vent?
4 people like this
14 responses
31 Jan 12
oh my goodness! thats terrible! are you ok? i thought you moved for the better because your husband got a new job? i take it that didn't work out? i really hope you are ok. when times are hard it's easy to lean on people, and sometimes when we lean on people, we transfer our aggression and anxiety out on them, and vent our issues at them, rather than with them, thus leading to arguments between you and your husband. please always remember, everything happens for a reason!!
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
My husband got cut on a saw at work and has been out of work for 2 months now. It has been horrible. =( We are so broke that we cannot even afford gas for the car. We were doing so good. It seems every time we think we are finally getting ahead, we take 10 steps back. Usually nothing of our fault like this! I really am trying to remember that. I'm sure as you probably know it is so much easier to say that than to actually do it... =(
7 Feb 12
OH BELIEVE ME! i know exactly what you mean! i have bi-polar disorder and sometimes, even when things in my life are going fantastic, my brain makes me get down for no reason at all! so i understand completely how you feel! however, in relation to the accident. isn't your husband getting sick pay? isn't he getting some sort of accident compensation!?
• Jacksonville, Florida
7 Feb 12
My husband was told if he filed for workers comp he would be fired. He did file and his boss didn't have comp! That is why he didnt want him to file. He has not had insurance for his jobs since 2005!! So my husband's boss was subcontracting for another company. We have to try to get comp from this other company which is a longer process and much harder to do. Our lawyer is trying to fight for us but it is not an easy case. So, we are stuck waiting until workers comp actually gets everything they need, and they will let us know if we got it or not. In the mean time we are just left to worry and struggle!! =(
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
2 Feb 12
I just saw you commented on my response to another one of your discussion, so I hope that you're feeling a little better today. I hope that your husband's workers comp came through already. I've been feeling stressed too! The bills are never ending!
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Feb 12
I am honestly just trying not to think about everything Bounce. No it did not come through yet. The lawyer said they are waiting for another form to be faxed to them and then they will make their decision. I am so terrified about what is going to happen! =( I am so beyond stressed I cannot take it. But it doesn't really help dwelling on it so I am trying to stay positive and dwell on things here instead of life outside of here...
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
2 Feb 12
Hang in there!
@celticeagle (119804)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Feb 12
In my community a person can get what they call 'script' and can use it for appointments and either have a van pick them up or call a taxi. I would check with the H & W in your area to see if they have such a program. And some will give you a free bus pass also. So he can't file for unemployment until you find out about workman's comp? H & W in my area will give a family several hundred dollars in such an emergency situation. Sounds like this is the case. I would check with them.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Feb 12
He cannot file for unemployment the minute he got fired for filing workmans comp. The ex boss told him if he filed he would not have a job. You can only file for unemployment if you were laid off and if he was working there more than 6 months. He was only working with this guy for 4 months.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119804)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Feb 12
I see. Well, good luck to you.
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
1 Feb 12
I thought that you had heard from your lawyer that your husband would be receiving workman's comp. Or was this an earlier discussion that I did not get to? Take a deep breath and hang in there you will get through it.
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
The lawyer told us that and then the comp people said not until my husband did a recorded statement and then they would decide. I don't know if the lawyer was mistaken or had a duh moment or what. Now the comp people are taking their time letting us know and we are just stuck waiting however long to find out if he is getting it or not. =( We got our hopes up thinking everything would go through and then the lawyer calls and says workers comp needs that statement before they will give it to you! It never fails I swear, our life is one thing after another...
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 12
You have to admit that all the different things that go on in our lives challenge us, they make us better people, partners and parents. The things that we are challenged with make us stronger and better people. We understand things better and manage to get through each difficult challenge that is handed to us. Well I guess all you two have to do is get the paper work done and handed in to workman's comp. They are usually pretty good. I know when my husband had to have his appendix taken out years ago that it took 6 weeks before we saw any money at all. It was a long wait, but we made it through it. You two will make it through this as well. Have you looked into getting help from social services until the workman's comp comes through. You might be able to get fuel assistance and food stamps. Also if you talk with you minister/preacher sometimes the church can help you out too. Good luck. Hugs
• India
31 Jan 12
first thing in this situation you all have to do is calm down and bit inorder to get thing in place you have to take a rest. then start counting the options availabe for you as you know that you do not have money so you can borrow them from someone, this is what you can do and one the dark clouds gone then you can back the borrowed money why paniking and fighting with each other
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you for your response and advice but we dont have anyone to borrow money from. Everyone we know is just about broke like we are... Thats why we are stressing so bad... =(
• South Africa
1 Feb 12
You know that the Word of God says that we need to give thanks in everything, not only when things are good, but even in our most critical times. Maybe start by thanking him for your situation, tell Him you know where you are at and what you are going thru, thanking Him for your health, your children's health, the sunshine, the rain, His beautiful creation, and for everything that he has created. Start your day by saying This is the Day that the Lord Has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Also say the Our Father prayer, and Psalm 23, The Lord is your Shepherd. Also try fasting for a day or two, things will get better. do you remember the story of Job, to see if your trust is in Him or man. Look to Him only , He will never allow you to go beyond what you can bear, He will deliver you soon in Jesus Name, their is so much power in that Name. Call on His name thru out the day, you will see small miracles everyday until your breakthru.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
31 Jan 12
I'm sorry you feel so stressed out, I find the major stress most people have is due to finances..I do sometimes, but if I can't do anything about it, I just keep following G♥d and giving it over to Him..I pray you find some peace soon..
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you for your response and hugs. =) I keep giving my worries to God and I end up taking them back on my own shoulders again. Not intentionally but I do it. Its so hard sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 12
Hey, we all do that, thinking that we can "take care of it" it's natural, not super-natural. Yes it can be hard, especially when one has bill collectors calling daily, but as one who almost lost my home, I can tell you, there is a way out, just keep taking it back to Him, and He will continue to take it..
• United States
31 Jan 12
I'm fine. Girl Take him by the hand and sit down and just look at each other and Remember all that you have gone through. Hang in there. You have each other and the kids . Never let this set back, and that is what it is a set back, tear you apart. I know you love each other , You Just have to remember!
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Your response hit me so hard I was in tears. I am so glad you responded. Your right. We have been through so much together and we have gotten through more than most couples get through. Sarah, we help so many people so we both feel like when is our life going to get better? Were always helping others even if we are struggling because we love to help. But we are so ready for things to go our way for once... We are so in love. Were both stressing so of course sometimes it gets directed at each other even when it shouldnt. I really hope we get some good news soon. Thank you again for responding hun. =) I really needed those words.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 12
Oh Girl I didn't mean to make you cry. I want you both to remember you Need each other and not to take things out on each other. You both Deserve All the best and I hope sooner more than later it will come your way.Hang in there and remember I'm just a PM away.
@marie2052 (3697)
• United States
31 Jan 12
The system is hard. Especially when neither spouse can work because of the evil word "money" It took me almost 3 years to get my SSD and then I got a measly 559.00 and have worked up to 652.00 a month with our just raise. Do you have an attorney? I hope so for the workers comp claim. If not look into one. They do not charge you and may be able to get you more then they take a percentage off what you get from the claim. Even though you have no gas, take your husband and babies out for a walk. Fresh air can sometimes do good. Get help from a local church, charity, food bank etc. I was in your place once only husband dumped me 7 months pregnant with a 17 month old toddler. I have probably been through one of everything and now I just don't care anymore. I realized I am a person just like anyone else and I do for me now. I had 5 children and Lord knows I had to pull inner strength when I did not even know I had it. US mothers tend to worry and stress more than any man on this earth! Make me a friend here and I will follow your discussions to help you get a bit more money. Just smile at something you like. Or do something you like to do. Everyone needs a me moment just to drain the stresses away and be themselves even when surrounded with all the world falling down around you. Bless you hon
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
The system is very hard and frustrating! We do have a lawyer and she keeps leaving messages for the workers comp people and she is waiting for them to get back to her for us to find out if our claim went through... He has been out of work so long and we have no money. This is the worst feeling ever. We are on food stamps thank goodness so none of us are going hungry. Thank God for that! Thank you for your help and your response. I appreciate it very much. =) Thank you for the blessings too. I need them.
• United States
31 Jan 12
Remember, some things that are good in life take time and patience. I know it is hard to hang in there right now and I also know how it feels to be frustrated. I am going through a rough time in my life right now and really wish you the best. Just try to be a supportive person in all of this. Take care.
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
I am trying very hard to have the patience I need to get through this. I think the hardest part is not knowing. We don't know if the claim went through so we are just waiting and waiting. Praying and praying a LOT. I hope things get better for you too.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
31 Jan 12
Difficulties do bring in stress related issues and that is what is getting you. You know how deep you are in and only you can get out of it. So, clam down and start being rational about it. I know it is hard but, have the confidence in you that you can pull it off. So there is no gas to go about doing important work, that is no reason to abandon work itself. There is public transport, which can provide the transport, maybe inconvenient, but not inconvenient enough to skip therapy or a job. Make do with this till you are financially comfortable enough to afford your own transport. You need to lose some to gain some. Just try this once, you will be surprised and will be thrilled with your success at things you had not done before. The emphasis now should be on saving money so that you have a little something behind you if you happen, God forbid, to find yourself in another sticky situation. So use the compensation wisely and be comfortable. We all are stressed, to different levels and due to different circumstances. It is on us to deal with it and come out unaffected. This is the hard truth about life.
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Yes this is very stressful! Public transport would be good except that costs money! We have absolutely no money at all, nothing. If we have a quarter right now its a lot. We are seriously broke. Oh we will be very careful with our comp when and if it comes... When you do not even have one dollar to your name there is no way to get out of this situation...
@SassyBrat (463)
• Canada
31 Jan 12
I am just seeing your post now, and I do relate all too well with your frustrations. Are you able to apply for Unemployment Assistance - Medical for your husband? How long have you been waiting to hear back? Is there a number you can call, or a worker assigned to your case? Failing that, if this isn't standard procedure, I would be calling an Ombudsman for your community to find out what they can do. Do you have an Advocate's Society? I know we do here, and have used mine, and let me tell you, they do get things moving.
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
No he cannot get on unemployment because when he got hurt his ex boss fired him. You get unemployment if your laid off, not fired. We have been going through this for 2 months now! Our lawyer is trying to find out for us sometime this week but my husband has been out of work for two months now. The lawyers doing everything she can but its really hard waiting! Thank goodness we dont have to pay the lawyer until after we get paid.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Hi lovingMyBabies, I feel so bad for you...I will pray for your and your hubby tonight.. I have had a few rough times in my life but fortunately, God has always been there to pick me up when I have fallen...I know the light is looking very dim now but you must believe that its going to get better and sooner rather than later...No one likes to be stress but we are sometimes pushed to the boundaries beyond recognition.. Just continue to hang in there..I hope life will change for you and hubby soon, very soon....
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you, I will definitely need prayers. I absolutely do know God is going to help us through. We have been through so much stress together and I just want things to go good for us now! We help everyone and try to make their lives better, like what about us? When is it our turn for life to get better? I am tired of struggling. I just want to give up sometimes. This stress is killing me. Please keep us in your prayers that Gods will is done.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
31 Jan 12
So sorry that you haven't heard about his comp yet...hopefully you will get results soon. I am fine right now.....nothing too stressful...
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
I am hoping the results come in soon, hopefully good news. I am glad for you and I hope I can join you on the happy side soon. Lol.
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
4 Feb 12
I think you both need a time out. Don't drink no coffee either. That will make you more nervous. I feel your pain and stress. Maybe you could ask your parents for a little help to get through this rough patch. I feel for you and your husband. I assume you live in more of a country setting where buses and trains are not close by. I have been stressed now for the last 4 years. I am in therapy but I don't find myself getting any better. I also have depression and some physical problems. I cannot work and I have nothing either. I am lucky that I live in my parents house in my own apartment. They are currently helping me until I get word on my disability. It takes a very long time. I am trying to hang in there, but it is not easy. I am in bad shape so I understand your pain.