I Am Worried About Him...

Jacksonville, Florida
January 31, 2012 12:46pm CST
My husband is having such a hard time with this whole comp stuff. He is stressing more than I am (if you can believe that). He is sitting outside just thinking about how he is going to work with his hurt hand if he doesn't get accepted for workers comp. He said he will be in too much pain to work, and no gas to get there if he has to find a way through the pain. He is so sad and worried. =( I keep going to check on him but he just wants to be alone which isn't like him...I know he feels like he failed us but we don't feel that way. We know he always does the best he can for us. Will everyone help me in praying for him?
8 people like this
28 responses
• United States
31 Jan 12
I am hoping for the best for both of you.When Hubby is sitting at the table for dinner or right before you two go to sleep, just tell him he didn't fail you and he has Never failed you. A true failure would have just walked away, given up. As long as he is with you , he a success. Money comes and goes but true love Never does. I know it must be hard to let him be alone , but he Needs this time. But he Will come back and be with you. hang in there.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
Thank you for the good wishes. I appreciate it so much. I will tell him because I want him to know that. Everyone here knows that but your right maybe he needs me to tell him too. He is a success in our eyes, we have been through so much together and he has never let yet. He is not that kind of man, he would never turn his back on us. I know he needs time to clear his head and thoughts and I am giving it to him. It just worries me since that is just not like him. I keep just checking on him to make sure he is okay. I'm trying to stay strong for him and the kids but man this is tough...
2 people like this
• United States
1 Feb 12
Yes it is tough to watch while the man you love is in pain. But you are doing Everything you can. But Please tell him. He Needs to hear that he is Still your hero! Even if he acts like he doesn't believe it or acts like he doesn't hear it, Say it anyway. Keep writing here . We all are here to give your strength!
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
31 Jan 12
I remember when my hubby lost his previous job in May 2008 (not that long after we got married) and it hit us both like a train as neither of us was expecting it. He'd been in that job for 21 years and it was a family firm that had been in existence for over 200 years. Then it all went t*ts up to be blunt. It took John 4 months to get the job he has now. Obviously, he is grateful that he is able to work as he is the only provider. Fortunately, we do not have children (only the cat) but it's the general bills that get him down sometimes, especially when they keep going up and his wages aren't! I think the biggest concern was the rise in petrol prices. In his previous job he was working locally but now he has to travel a fair way in his car and it takes its toll, fuel-wise, plus the fact the car isn't exactly the most efficient in the world. To compensate for this he drives slower, therefore the fuel lasts longer. This is not uncommon now as everyone is feeling the pinch, fuel-wise. As for your husband, he says he needs to be on his own "to think things through" but DON'T LET HIM. Don't let him out of your sight because, believe me, he will be at his most vulnerable right now. If he's not really one to open up then you need to watch him even more. I don't want to worry you but even if you just sit with him and not say anything that's better than leaving him on his own. That's my opinion anyway. You're both in my thoughts.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
Wow, 21 years is a long time to lose your job like that. That is terrible... =( Gas prices are so crazy right now its terrible. We cannot get anywhere because we are broke and have no money for gas. So, I cannot even work because literally we have no money at all. He has been out of work for 2 months and we were living paycheck to paycheck when he was working. We never had any extra. I have definitely been checking on him a lot. I can't just sit with him because of the 3 children but I have been making sure he is okay. Thank you. =)
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
1 Feb 12
Sorry, I forgot to factor in your kids..silly me. I'm glad you're keeping an eye on him though. I reckon it hits men harder when they're not in work..it certainly hit John very hard at the time. It's such a trying world we're living in right now and I hope things improve for you both.
@MandaLee (3738)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Dear Loving, Absolutely. He probably feels badly because he is unable to work. You and your family are in my prayers.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you for the prayers! He does feel terrible about it. He feels like hes not a good husband or father but I do not feel that way at all.
1 person likes this
@MandaLee (3738)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Dear Loving, I know you don't feel that way. Men feel inadequate when they are unable to provide for the family.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
31 Jan 12
I will pray for you both and I also want to say something. You said he is more stressed out than you, that is because men are given the role of a leader and he is probably starting to feel inadequate. Will he talk to you? Or does he have a friend he can talk to to encourage him?
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you for the prayers they are so appreciated. He does feel less of a man and provider right now but I dont feel that way at all. He only talks to me when he wants to vent and yell. And he doesnt have friends because he has trust issues...
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 12
Well, I will pray he will listen to G♥d and allow Him to give him the peace he needs right now..:)
1 person likes this
@peavey (16856)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Of course I will pray for him, and for you, too. You've had a tough time of it, but God is still there for you.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you so much. I can always count on people here for prayers and nice words. I appreciate it so much. =)
1 person likes this
• India
2 Feb 12
u have my blessings
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
31 Jan 12
I would be happy to pray for your family. I know that when the main worker loses their job for any reason it can take a huge toll on there ego. And the worry they feel is real. Try to get him to put a little more positive energy into this. The sad and worry will only weigh him down. When my hubby lost his job he felt really bad and was down for a little over a year. He was so depressed and then one day he wanted to try truck driving. He was afraid to try, but I told him he will never know unless he tries. He did it and felt so much better. You need to allow him to feel what he is feeling and then let it go. Help him gain a better look out in his life. All The Best, ~C~
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
Thank you for the prayers, they are needed and appreciated so much. =) It is very hard for him and he feels like he is failing us but he isn't. He got hurt on the job, its not like he did anything wrong. I hate that he feels that way and he is shutting me out. =( I am trying so hard to stay strong for all of us.
1 person likes this
@fannitia (2170)
• Bulgaria
31 Jan 12
I don't pray but I'll gather all my positive energy thinking about you and your family. You have such a good and caring husband and you deserve him with all you have done for your family. Don't discourage and try to suggest him to not give up. If you don't lose hope, things finally will be OK for you.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you, positive energy is appreciated as well. We are trying to stay hopeful its just really hard in this situation. He is a good man. =)
1 person likes this
@azfarali (25)
31 Jan 12
i hope that thgey may soon get well and start to get in the job perfectively as it is very hard to be hurt and work for family.......1!!1
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you. Yeah he is hurt and cannot work. Were hoping workerscomp comes through for us.
2 people like this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
1 Feb 12
Have the kids make Daddy some cards with happy faces or smiles on them with a happy picture showing that they love him, it hopefully will help lift his spirits. I will keep your husband, you and the children in our prayers that you hear something real soon about that workman's comp that it goes through.
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
That is a really super idea!! =) I will absolutely do that tomorrow morning before he gets up so I can surprise him with them. I think he will love it. Thank you so much for the prayers too. They are so needed and so appreciated. I hope it goes through soon too.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Feb 12
I sure hope it helps. You can also make him a card letting him know how much you love him and that you both will get through this together. He just needs to know that he is loved and needed. Once he heals he will be able to take care of his family again. But, it all takes time. Somehow make sure he gets to those physical therapy sessions, they work wonders to get you back on your feet again. Good luck.
• United States
1 Feb 12
Wow your both been going through alot. :-( I hope the money come in fast. I can understand his pain. A man is suppose to surpport their family but he isnt able to that so he is sad. I think the best you can do is continue reasuring him that he has not fail his family.
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
We are going through so much. We have been through hard times before and gotten through them all so I am hoping this will be the same. It is just hard when your somewhere you don't want to be and you have no way to get a job and your whole world feels like it is coming down around you. I will keep reassuring him. =)
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 12
I know how it feels to have your whole world come down. You feel helpless parylyze. Well your parents home is only temporary so just deal with it for now. I know you and your husband can pull through this together. Best wishes.
@AmbiePam (49884)
• United States
31 Jan 12
You can count on me!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you so much. I know I can count on you! =)
1 person likes this
1 Feb 12
thr r always good tyms n bad tyms in lyf have faith evrything ll get well soon
@alaskanray (4642)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Keeping you and yours in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will touch your lives and help you both through this tough time. I know He will carry you through.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Feb 12
Thank you so much for the prayers. They are needed and so appreciated. I don't know what I would do without all of you here. I know the Lord will get us through this tough time too, I just have to stay strong and keep my faith in Him.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 12
Men often take not being able to work a lot harder than women do. Most have been trained that the man is supposed to be the provider within the family. Even though things have changed within this society, there is still often that underlying message that the man is supposed to be the one taking care of the family financially. Hopefully, things will work out for your husband.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Yeah that is how he is feeling. I would have no problem going to work but sadly we have no gas money and live far from jobs here... Hes been out of work for two months had surgery and everything so we literally have no money at all. Thank you, I hope things work out for us too.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
31 Jan 12
Will do you can count on all of us to say a prayer that things turn out okay...hopefully the workers comp will come through soon...that would take a load off everyone's mind!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you. We really do need them. I hope it comes through, we would be so grateful!!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Jan 12
Hi LovingMyBabies oh yes indeed I will send some prayers right now that he gets his workmans comp. and that everything is going to smooth out . I will also pray his hand gets better and better too so his spirits can be uplifted. Its harder on men I think than us women when something like this happens to a man. He gets the feeling hes let everyonet down when its just not so at all.I went through this s everal times with my own husband when he had colon cancer and after surgery was in pain and could not wo rk. He was moping and blue cause I went back to work. He failed he had failed us and of course I did not feel that at all. I loved my job at the library and did not feel ill treated. I think in the long run Loving it will all come out right in the wash as my hubby used to say. good luck and God bless.
• Jacksonville, Florida
31 Jan 12
Thank you Hatley. We sure do need prayers. We are both worried sick about all of this. Thank you, hopefully his hand will keep healing. Thats exactly how hes feeling right now, like hes not doing enough for us. I dont feel that way at all but he does. Your hubby from what you have told us seems like he was a great man. I hope things start working out for us. We have been through some terrible times already, Im ready for our break in life!
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
5 Feb 12
Well, I don't pray because I am not religious. But I will keep him in my mind. Always. I believe deep down everything will be fine. I know the feeling. It's the wait and the stress and the not knowing that drives you crazy. I assume he does contracting work and he works with his hands. Now, he could do one of two things, bite the bullet and wait for the comp, or bite the bullet and go back to work with his hand. Maybe they could give him light duty because of his injuries. As far as the gas, maybe he could have one of his co-workers pick him up. I am just trying to give some quick solutions.
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Feb 12
Well thank you for keeping him in mind then. =) It is the waiting and all the stress that kills us... Thank you for the idea, hes still in so much pain from the accident so he really does not feel like he could handle the pain. Unfortunately I doubt anyone will hire him in his condition. =(
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27713)
• United States
10 Feb 12
Well, I really hope everything works out for both of you. You seem to be a real down to earth person and so does your husband. I think he will get better and be able to work again.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
4 Feb 12
That's so sad! I never want him to feel that way! I wish there was something we could do to help! We will get yall out of the house next week & maybe that will help! I'll be praying!
• Jacksonville, Florida
5 Feb 12
Yeah, I feel bad that he feels that way too! You guys have helped a lot already. It always helps when we get out of the house for a while.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
6 Feb 12
I try. I know life's been kind of crazy right now but.... we do the best we can for you guys.
@celticeagle (119241)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Feb 12
It is very hard when something like this happens but, it is a time to regroup and hopefully he won't be in a position to take another job without workmen's comp. Now days medical expenses are so high that you really have to have insurance. I mentioned in another discussion that perhaps you could get some help with transportation for a time. Perhaps that would help.
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Feb 12
Yeah unfortunately when you get a job they do not tell you oh I dont have workmans comp insurance or my husband would have found another job. Also unfortunate here the only place the social services bus will take you is to the health department. Which is not where my hubby needs to go. Also when you get that kind of help from them they do home visits and my parents dont want those people coming anywhere near their house... Its not my house or rules. My husband has over $30,000 in medical bills from this injury! Trust me if he knew the boss did not have workmans comp he would have left. No boss will tell you that because they need workers...
1 person likes this
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
10 Feb 12
Hi, I am new but wanted to extend my prayers for you and your hubby due to the problems you are going through right now. I have had so many issues with insurance and medical stuff in the past and still have no insurance. It has made me literally want to die. I'm a female and I can't cope with that kind of thing with job loss so I can just imagine what he is going through. I hope by some kind of miracle things will turn around for the better, it is so frustrating when one thing hinders another when you just want to get back on track with your life the way it was before, I know what you mean.
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Feb 12
I appreciate your response and it doesn't matter if your new here, all are welcome in my discussions! =) Thank you so much for the prayers, they are so appreciated. We need them a lot. Things are pretty tough right now and it's not fair. Then again life really isn't fair usually...At least not for us. Yeah, his boss didn't have workers comp like he should have so this whole thing has turned into a big mess! We are stuck waiting and it has upset my husband a lot too. I hope things turn around soon too, thank you. =)
7 Feb 12
all you can do is be there for him. when we get down and withdrawn, sometimes no one and nothing can pull us out of it.. however i do find, that although no one can pull me out of it, when i'm completely left to my own devices i can tend to go into self destruct mode. so whilst he will need his own space, just make sure you don't leave him on his own for too long. whistle and sing round the house, and make positive little remarks out of the blue.. my partner doing that really helps me :)
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Feb 12
I am definitely showing him I am still here and I always will be. I will definitely make little positive remarks because I think that would definitely help. =) We balance each other out really good it seems. The days he is down I am positive and when I am down he is positive which is good so we can help each other!