Should You Go Back to Someone Who Cheated On You?

United States
February 1, 2012 8:51pm CST
The title pretty much summarizes the start of this topic. My girlfriend, who I've been with for seven years, has cheated on me with one of my closest friends. That was a few months ago. She says that she just wanted something different because I've been the only guy she's ever seriously been with. I want to go back to her of course because I still love her, but is what she did too much for me to be able to trust her again? Just wondering what the good people of MyLot thought about the situation since there are always many different opinions.
3 people like this
13 responses
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 12
I would never ever be back to her if I were you. You are lucky to know her (bad) character just before you marry her. What if she cheated you after you were married to her? I'd hurt so bad, wouldn't it? I suggest you leave her and find someone else. There is a lot of fish in the sea. So, enjoy your life.
• United States
2 Feb 12
Yeah, this is what I keep telling myself. I never know what she's going to do next, so maybe I should just move on. It's just really hard for me to discard so many years with one person.
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 12
I know someone who dated her girlfriend for over 7 years. He broke up simply because he found out that she cheated on him. He said that he was lucky because finally knew her girlfriend was not honest.
@Lhenni (1246)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
If that's the case for me, why not giving my ex partner a change if I find it worth it to give one. I mean, we all commit mistakes but after those mistakes, we should do the making up and change for good to allow someone to give us another chance. But in the end that we find it not deserving to give another a chance, it's okay! That's life... and life is a journey... it's better to feel those pains and heartaches than not trying at all. Who knows it's a good move instead! We all deserves a second chance but on what limitations varries to our own standards and conclusions! Living our lives is very tough. You learn as you live. And it's nice to live with so much trust from the people around you!
• United States
2 Feb 12
Epicurus once said "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for." I think that this is very interesting because it could mean that I should try to get back with her and not spoil that, or maybe it means that I should just stay single and not try to spoil that. Either way I'll be happy in the end because that's just the type of person that I am; I don't wanna be depressed forever over the whole situation. But thank you, I appreciate your response.
1 person likes this
@Lhenni (1246)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Those good words from versed people may help us in concluding or thinking out. We will be our own driver of our own life. So better be wise. Follow your heart with mind MRconrad. Goodluck!
• Philippines
4 Feb 12
We all know that everybody is entitled to make a mistake,that no one is perfect.So anyone who made a mistake deserves a second chance.If your exgirlfriend truly admits her mistakes and promise that she won`t do such thing again that will make you mad why not give her a second chance?what if you are the one who cheated on her?she`ll probably give you another chance too.If you are serious with her go back with her but if she did it again on a second time break up with her and move on and find the girl who deserves your love.
• Philippines
4 Feb 12
based on my experiences once she did it she'll always do it sorry if I'm against what you said and please don't find it as offensive everybody should have second chances if the damage done is low but cheating? come on cheating is an exception to this rule
@Lucas818 (378)
2 Feb 12
Hi MRconrad, I can imagine how tough is your situation: your girlfriend and your closest friend. If I were you, I will find out what's wrong in the relationship, which has lasted 7 years. For example, how's the cheating happened? Who initiate the cheating at first? Girlfriend or close friend? Am I not good enough to my girlfriend? Or she finds me not good enough for her? I will also figure how to fix this, whether to continue with the relationship or otherwise. Somehow, I believe I will be more difficult to trust her again, if we're together once more. It takes time to build up the trust for sure. Anyhow, I wish you the best.
• United States
2 Feb 12
She had never really been with another guy, and she had wanted something different (so she wanted a relationship with somebody who wasn't me). She said she didn't know why she didn't just break up with me. Because in my eyes, cheating is stupid. The person can just break up with their partner to pursue another relationship. I guess she wanted the "best of both worlds" so to speak.
@Heixyin (175)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 12
Well, sorry if I may not be of any help. But truthfully speaking, if my girlfriend cheated on me, I would definitely not go back with her. ( this is not right , I think but then I can't help but dislike her ) haha.. Well, from someone like me, I think it all depends on how you feel about it. But then again, I don't get it, if she cheated on you because you're the only guy she's been serious too. Won't it be terrible? I mean, if she takes you seriously, she would not have cheated on you. It's somehow contradicting. It's like saying I love you too much that I wanted to try loving someone else for a while. Well, that would be my interpretation. I'm only interpreting it this way as this is as much data I have. So I might be wrong as I do not clear know who she is. So, I apologise before hand. But, if that is all I need to know, I can say, she is not a faithful person. Just imagine, if you guys get married, she might cheat on you after a few years. Well, the reason should be the same. I've been married to you for almost seven years, and I'm serious with you, thus I want to try something different for a while. Is this worth it? I believe it's something you have to reconsider. It's not what should you do, but what you want to do. So yea. I apologise for any offensive statement. And wish you all the best. :D
• United States
2 Feb 12
Nah, it wasn't offensive at all, don't worry. This is what most of my friends have actually been telling me, about the faithfulness and such. And it's true, I may not be the best boyfriend in the world, but I never did anything as bad as cheating on her. I personally think that's the biggest problem I have in a relationship - being cheated on. I take trust very seriously. I always tell my friends and everybody I know not to lie to me because it's literally the worst thing that you could do to me. She lied to me for a few weeks that nothing was happening before I figured it out through something as silly as a text message. But thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it.
• Philippines
3 Feb 12
I know you love your girlfriend that much but from my experience just move on with you life, find something that would make you feel better, ask yourself if you really want to go back with her, but my opinion don't just move on she should have known better, she should think before she act. that is if you didn't do it before if you did it before that's your fault and choose whether to forgive her or not. if you didn't do it before well just don't go back to her because I'm sure of one thing being with a man for 7 years, with this you can tell that your a great guy. we are men and we are great women like those doesn't deserve men like us
@Hazelrose (2185)
• Philippines
3 Feb 12
Yes,why not.Just give them another chance for good.May be he/she will change and do good for the better.
3 Feb 12
bad girl .!! if me , i will go away her!
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Since you told us you still love her, then go with it. Give her another chance. I know it hurts that the one you love cheated on you, but hurt is also one of the ingredients to strengthen a relationship. It's not easy to trust her back again tell her what do you feel. You two should have an agreement that it would be so hard for you to trust her easily.
2 Feb 12
As for me, since you have said you still in love with your girlfriend so why not give it a try going back to her. It's not because she has cheated you, you won't accept her back because you think she might do the same way again, don't be so negative as you know people will change, everyone of us commit mistakes and in the relationship we cannot deny the fact that temptation is really there so now broaden your mind,accept her and start a new relationship.Forget the her past and make a wonderful one at present, it might not be easy as that but if you two will start doing it then for sure everything will be fine. But in that second time around be very carefull and know her heart well. :) Hope this advice would give you a bit confident in love. :)
• Hungary
2 Feb 12
Well difinetly i wil never go back for someone who cheated on me,If i still want to be with it means i did not respect myself.And i did not love myself better to stay away for those people who can do that.Even you really still inlove for that girl stay away from her so that you can recover.Its just desame you will never trust her anymore.The relationship will not work anymore becuase she did to cheated with you,I hope you can move on and recover the pain and find another girl who can give you a happines.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
I ignore people saying "a cheater will always be a cheater" I believed that everyone has the chance to chance and regret when forgive from mistakes they've made. So,when my partner cheated on me- I had forgiven me. But he cheated me second time again- and still I had forgiven him. Until one day, I realized that yes! it might be true "a cheater will always be a cheater" It's up to you to decide if you will give your girlfriend another chance.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
2 Feb 12
That's a tough question. One that is difficult to answer. While myself, or other members can advise you, the answer has to come within you. While cheeting is a defenate trust-breaker, you have to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship itself. Ask yourself what's really going on. Do you feel this is mendable? Or, do you feel you can trust her? Has she been un-trustworthy in the past? How strong was your relationship before the afair? Does she want you back?