If I take a person to the store knowing they are a theif am I guilty too?
By free_man
@free_man (7330)
United States
February 6, 2012 8:09am CST
My sister in law is a theif their vehicle was stolen a couple of years ago. They had a tax return check last year and spent it on drugs instead of getting a vehicle. I took her to the store before Christmas last year but when she came out she had her purse full of stuff she stole. I told my husband that I would not take his brothers wife to the store ever again because I don't want to be associated with a theif! He agreed that I shouldn't take her to the store she has tried many times to get me to take her and I keep telling her my husband said I couldn't drive his truck again. So If I take her to the store would I be consider as the get away car? Could I go to jail if I took her too? I haven't told her husband should I tell him why I don't want to take her? He knows she is a theif! What would you do if you was in my shoes?
4 people like this
14 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 Feb 12
So far everyone said to be honest with your bil and to not take her again, but have you considered confronting her and telling her that you won't take her because she needs help? Ignoring something like this will only make it worse later, I believe that you do what you can, talk to your sil, and if her husband or your husband won't stand by you, then that's their problem, but let everyone know where you stand..
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
Thank you and everyone for all your advice. I prayed about it and decided that next time she puts me in this position asking me to take her I will put and end to it then. I will tell her in front of her husband and my husband why I won't take her. I told my husband this when it happened the one and only time it happened. He said then not to take her but she likes to be the center of attention so next time she ask I will just plain say why I won't take her. Thanks again for your advice!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I hope you still have that support when you confront her, some people rather keep the peace than to tell the truth, but in the long run, it is for the best for everyone..I will be praying for you..
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
If I don't have the support so be it but I am sick of her lies and her causing me all the bull stuff. Thank you for your prayers my friend! I don't think there is ever too many prayers for situations that people put other people in. She isn't worth going to jail for! And if people don't understand that then their problem not going to be mine!
1 person likes this
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
7 Feb 12
I guess bring him to shopping mall is ok , however , if he steals and u saw it and does nothing it bad , since can be charge as accesory to a crime or partner in crime and bidding in a crime and such , especially if your thief friend point his finger against u too if get caught.I guess mixing with wrong crowd will cause u problem too.Better be close to fren who potentially harm u and bring problem to u.
2 people like this
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
7 Feb 12
In my opinion, if you are aware that your sister in law is a thief and you provide her transportation to a store, then you are guilty of the theft as well. You are much better off to tell her and her husband why you will not give her a ride anywhere anymore.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
Hi Deedee and welcome to my lot. I only took her once and she stole that time I told my husband that day. He said not to take her anywhere. But she plays on everyones sympathy, so the next time she puts me in this position I will just plain tell her why in front of God and whom ever is in the room why I won't take her. Thank you for your wise advice my friend!
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
12 Feb 12
I think that would be your best bet. You don't want to get caught up in any trouble that she may get into. You know that she is just trying to play on your emotions by telling you sob stories or whatever, so stick to your plan. Tell her that you can not help her.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
12 Feb 12
My husbands brother got mad at me and my husband because he don't understand why I won't take her. So my husband called him this past weekend and just plain told him on his answering service. I will handle it when we see them again and she won't ask me ever again when I embarrass her in front of anyone and everyone! But my husband decided that we wouldn't talk to them or go over there again because if I go to jail with her they will tow in our vehicle and we won't have a way to get around either. Not to mention the legal cost it would take to get me a lawyer and all the legal stuff it can and would cost us eventually. Thanks for the wise advice.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
5 Aug 12
hi,
if that will happen to me i think i will not feel guilty because i dont have an idea that she can stole those item,but since you already know that your sister in law is a shop lifter so its better avoid accompany her especially in malls and groceries just for your safety and not associated to a thief or a shop lifter.
@haopee (493)
• Philippines
6 Feb 12
If you knowingly drove her to a store so that she could steal, then yes you are an accessory to a crime. The best thing to do is just refuse taking/driving her anywhere. She'll soon get the point, but if she doesn't, just tell her frankly that you know she is a thief and you don't want to get into trouble because of her.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
Hi Haopee and welcome to my lot. She has been going on and on about me taking her she knows that I can get in trouble taking her but she don't give a hoot about me or anyone else. I am sick of not telling her next time she ask I will be straight forward and tell her in front of her husband why I won't take her.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
6 Feb 12
If he asks you why you don't want to take her to the shop you have to give a honest answer.
If you go with her and she is stealing you are quilty too. You did not report it.
And what the tax return concerns: she is free to spend it the way she likes.
If i were you I would not go with her and if I noticed her she was stealing I would give her a chance to pay for it, take it back, otherwise I would report it.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
6 Feb 12
I don't blame you for not taking her. I would not. I would not tell her husband unless he asked me straight up. I am sure he knows why.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I will never take her again but I am sick of her asking and she keeps trying to get me to take her. And it pisses her husband off that I keep making up one excuse after another. So next time she ask I am just plain going to say why I won't take her and maybe it will end the bull stuff.
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
6 Feb 12
I would not take her. And if i did take her and she stole, I would report her. It probably depends on the value of things she steals as to whether or not you would get into trouble as well. Your husband's family is putting you in an awful tough position.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I won't ever take her. She has been stealing all her life she has even stole from a judge she worked for that was a hundred dollars. I have had all I am going to take I will just plain put an end to it. She steals all kinds of things some small some larger. I told my husband yesterday that I won't take her and I will tell her why in front of her husband and everyone there.! He said it wouldn't bother him if I just plain stand up and say why I won't take her.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Feb 12
hi free man I hate to say this but to the store manager if they think she stole stuff and see her get into your car yes he will
get the cops on both of you. do break off any helping of her
as she is crooked and will get you in trouble even thugh you are innocent as you took her to the store knowing she is a thief.['Yes you would be considered the get away car so do as you told your
husband do not help her at all.I would talk to her husband too if
he does not know what she is doing. if he knows she is a thief why'the heck is he not doing something about it? is she
a klepto maniac?If I were in your shoes I would tell her you do
not associate with thieves and that she should turn herself in and get professional help.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I wrote this discussion so I could get everyones thoughts on it. I know what is right and I only took her once and she made it clear to me that she will steal everytime I take her. So I will put an end to the pretense if she ask again I will just tell her right then and there no matter who is in the room why I won't take her. I told my husband when I took her she just keeps trying to cause problems and I am going to put and end to that next time she ask.She is a klepto maniac! Her husband knows she steals he don't care. Thank you for your wise advice my friend!
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I won't take her I told her that it was not going to happen again. It only happened once when I took her and told my husband on the way home. He said too that I shouldn't take her but then she got him to say yes I can but I just plain told her I couldn't. I will tell her next time in front of her husband and he will know why.
@prinzcy (32322)
• Malaysia
7 Feb 12
yes, you are an associate and can be considered a gate away car from the crime scene. You can get into trouble as well. If your husband ask why, just tell him the truth. Hiding it for long will only make him more suspicious and wonder you have problem with his family.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I told my husband the first and only time I took her to the store and he told me then not to take her anymore. But she plays on everyones sympathy and makes me look like the bad guy. Been praying about it since it happened the first time. That is why I worte this discussion. I made up my mind yesterday if she ever ask me again I will just plain tell it in front of God and everyone in the room why I won't take her. Thanks. I knew I could get in trouble by taking her that is why I keep telling her one lie after another. But I know if I don't say it in front of everyone then she will keep asking so I will just plain be up front I don't care if it hurts her I am not going to jail for her stealing. I have even considered telling the store manager to watch her.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
9 Feb 12
Yeah it wouldn't be a good idea to take this person into the store, if you know that they are a thief, in the event that they steal something. Because you could be charged as a potential accomplice and it would be a doozy of a legal situation to really get out of to say the very least. Even if you didn't know the stuff was stolen until you leave the property, you're still liable.
So yeah in the end, its not a good idea to take her to the store, if she might steal something. I would put my foot down. After all, my life is not impacted if a person like that doesn't go to the store, but you certainly can be impacted if they steal something. So that would be the proper time to put the foot down and refuse to take this person anywhere. You can't watch them every second.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I had decided that was the best thing to do my friend. I don't know why she thinks I owe her but she knows that I don't like a theif. Think she is trying to keep strife and constant problems in my life. So your right I will put my foot down the next time she ask me to take her to the store. Thanks for the advice my friend.
@louievill (28851)
• Philippines
6 Feb 12
Simply cut and dissociate with her in all activities where she would be tempted to steal and get her and you in trouble but do not cut ties with her as a sister in law where you could be in a better position to guide and advice her to get rid of her bad habit or habits
@free_man (7330)
• United States
9 Feb 12
She has been stealing from her own mother for years and she can't seem to just let things lie where they are. She is always trying to get her husband to hate me my husbands brother knows she is a theif but don't know she stole the last time I took her to the store so the next time she ask I will just say in front of her husband why I won't take her. You can't guide this woman in anyway she isn't a good person. She has been trying for years to break me and my husband up and this time I am going to take control of the situation. I am sick of her lies!
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
7 Feb 12
You should just turn her in and get rid of the burden.
She can't seem to clean up her act. 
Your brother doesn't need the stole property in his home. You could get in trouble for aid and abetting a criminal. You don't want that. I think in the end the you will make the right decision. Maybe just not taking her is the best option. Best Wishes!
She can't seem to clean up her act. Your brother doesn't need the stole property in his home. You could get in trouble for aid and abetting a criminal. You don't want that. I think in the end the you will make the right decision. Maybe just not taking her is the best option. Best Wishes!1 person likes this
