What to do with a young husband who thinks he is right.

Egypt
February 7, 2012 8:12am CST
My husband and I get into arguments about hi friends. I live in Egypt and he is from here and I am from an English speaking country. He is 20 so keel that in mind. He tells me I have to listen to him no matter what and I haven't lived here that long only 6 months and I haven't really seen anything. He likes to go out with his friends like at 1 am and stay out till 3 or 4 in the morning and I really don't think that Is fair since I have to stay at home and do nothing why can't I go out and be away from the house I am not a house wife. I work all the time and he goes to school and goes out when he wants to. I don't think that is right am I to jealous?
3 people like this
12 responses
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
hi Lily! its hard to talk to someone who already have a close mind and who believe he is right. you need to talk to him but not when both of you are upset because it might end up in an argument. let him talk and say his piece, then ask him he is done and now tell him how you feel. it's not fair to decide for his own self only because he already have a wife. better to iron up your differences soon than make it more complicated later.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Feb 12
That is just wrong. First of all he'the husband and he should be the one providing for both of you. I don't know what it's like in egypt but I think that he is being childish. He should set his priorities straight and finish school and get a job as soon as possible. As for partying, it's not bad to party but he should consider that he already has a wife.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
7 Feb 12
Hi Lily, Welcome to Mylot!! He "SAYS" that you have to listen to him no matter what. You are your own person and NO you don't have to listen to him no matter what. Does he listen to you? Does he care what you think? WHY in the world are you playing this game with him? You need to stand up for yourself. Why can't you go out and be away from the house?? Well, because you choose to obey him rather than do what you want. As long as you continue to live your life according to his rules then this is how it will be.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Feb 12
I don't see why you can't go out with him unless it's a cultural issue? You have no kids at home I think you should be able to tag along or go out with your friends. And if he's just a student he should be more respectful of you if it's your income that pays the bills!
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
11 Feb 12
Even if we see all the corners of the world. Your husband is not right at all because being a husband. He must be love his wife and no matter what stay on his wife in the night because this is an obligation and responsible to show the mutual respect,love and affection... How can he perform the best of his time or being a good husband if acting like that. He is irresponsible enough that must be talk better between you and him. This is not a small issue because as husband and wife there must be mutual love and mutual respect... You right, my friend...you jealous that is a normal thing because he is your husband. Your worry also because it is your responsibility to care your husband at night and everything happen to him will be blame on you...
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
Is he ok if he stay with you all the time who doesn't speak arabic? He could be gaining speaking ability by speaking to people that speak his language and you are not one. He probably thinks his language will falter if he only stay with you because you only speak english. These days, its hard not to be able to speak the language you grown up with especially when you are not able to live in a country that does not speak your language.
@jethdale (156)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
so unfair. To think that the reason you married him because you knew that you will more happier with him and he will make you happy.
@kedves (728)
8 Feb 12
I am not sure i understood where you live or either nationality. however I do understand a control freak who just wants a woman at home for HIS needs and nothing else. best advice i give you is pack your bags and run like hell or live your life as his legal concubine ..
@digidogo (446)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
Good day Lilysesame. Welcome to myLot and I hope you enjoy your stay. It makes sense that you should listen to what your husband says since he has been a resident of Egypt for a long while. He knows the place better than you do and it would be safer if you would listen to him. Then, he is acting as if he is not married. Your story is similar to what my parents went through. They eventually broke up after a few months but relatives did their best to solve their problem and my father turned over a new leaf. You should remind him that both of you are now one and that wherever one is, the other should be too. Unless both of you are not married by Christian laws then I do not know what doctrines to follow. You have a life too and should enjoy with since your husband is obviously making the most of his. Plus, since you are from England, it means that your relatives are not living in Egypt. Now that is not good as you would not have relatives or family to help you out when something happens, God forbid though, so make sure you inform your family of your situation first.
8 Feb 12
the question is he not mature that what i can say.i wonder why did you marry this jack@$$ who leave his family and not doing his duty as a man of the house
@sishy7 (27594)
• Australia
8 Feb 12
I wonder how long you've known him before you got married. You both are very young; and he certainly has a lot to learn about respecting his wife's feelings. And you may have more to learn about him in years to come; which will take a lot of adjustments, mutual understanding, compromises, respects, and love which often accompany by heart aches. Be true to yourself through all that, and keep the communications open with your husband. You'll find the best way to sort out the problems. No, you're not too jealous; you're certainly entitled to your feelings. All the best.
@Hatley (164469)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Feb 12
hi lilysesame welcome to mylot. Is he Egpytian "? I think you need to have a talk with this young man.He is not treating you with the resp ect that a loving husband does. He needs to hear you and you need to tell him what he is doing is wrong, He is now married and has a wife,You are not his toy, you are a person who demands respect and loyalty too.He has not right forbidding you to go out. In fact he should be taking you out not going to bars with his buddies. He is no longer single.No you are not too jealous you just want to treated'right as a wife, a fellow equal. What he is doing is not right and do tell him so.