Is blatant hypocracy in the church a reason to leave it?

@deedee328 (1127)
United States
February 11, 2012 10:35pm CST
Hello my fellow mylotters. I have quite a dilemma. There have been a couple of instances in the church that I presently attend that make me wonder if I should be looking for a new church home. It seems to me that members of this church are trying to pick and choose the parts of the Bible that suit them. I think that this is wrong. I firmly believe that you either believe ALL of the Bible or none of it. There is one lady who complains about having a weekly Bible study because she apparently thinks that the one held monthly by the preacher is enough. The preacher is wanting to start holding a Sunday evening service, and this same lady is concerned that the church will have to pay him more for it. The Bible(which is God's word)gives the qualification of deacons very plainly, and the church just voted in a man that has been married more than once, and his wife has had 5 husbands. The preacher will not go against what the church board/members has voted on regardless what he believes. He says he can not "buck" what the majority has ruled on. I think that the preacher, of all people, should be telling the church when they are not doing what is quite right. I do so love these people, but I am wondering if it is hypocritical of me to continue to attend this church since I have such different views from some of them. One one hand, I think that since I have spoken my peace on matters,so I should not be held accountable for what the majority choose to do, but on the other hand, I have to wonder if my staying at the church will be a stumbling block for someone who may just beginning their walk in faith. So, tell me friends, what do you think? Do I stay or do I find another church home?
5 people like this
13 responses
@1hopefulman (19664)
• Canada
22 Feb 12
It seems to me that you have a deep love for God and great respect for his word the Bible. Remember James 1:5 and Matthew 7:7-11? Take the matter to God in prayer and I'm sure He will give you direction on what to do. I always find John 4:22-24 comforting. I hope that helps!
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
22 Feb 12
@1hopefulman Yes sir, I do. I know that He answers prayers. Even when I don't get the answer I had hoped for, I know that it is His will and He is the One that I can trust to have my best interest at heart. He has surely blessed me.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (19664)
• Canada
22 Feb 12
Great! God loves us dearly. If we take a step to get closer to him then we can be sure that he will do the same. (James 4:8) Keep reading and meditating on the Scriptures daily and guaranteed that he will guide your steps. (Isaiah 30:18-21) Psalm 119:105 King James Version (KJV) 105Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
23 Feb 12
@1hopefulman This is what I try to tell other people. Humans, by our nature make things so difficult. To have Christ is such a simple thing. The letting Him have the control is much more difficult, but as you know, once you do, then life is so much more worth living.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27969)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
Well it is in the church that you can really find hypocrites. Indeed those are the people who are outwardly right with God although inwardly they are not. That is actually a big, big reality and quite sad. From the way you have told you story I am bound to believe that you are in an Evangelical or Protestant church? This is because I've heard almost the same kind of problem from my friends who belong to either evangelical or protestant church. In their churches, it is the board members who actually are running the church and the Pastor just obey. Well I am happy I am not in that kind of church because I believe the Pastor is the head of the church and although he could be assisted by the members of the board and deacons, he remains the head and should have the last decision on spiritual matters. Now on matters pertaining to property and other non-spiritual needs of the church, the board members are in charge of that but they still consult with the Pastor. Such is my church and I am happy with it. It is just too troublesome to see so more than one head of the church.
@salonga (27969)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
Church Scene - Group of believers in Christ
Moreover... While the church is a composition of different kinds of people who all claim they know and worship the Lord, we can't really avoid fake ones because goats sometimes love to mingle with the sheep. Although I am not the kind of person affected by the wrong attitude of people around me because anyway they are accountable to God and not to me I cannot endure worshiping in Church which runs against the will of God. Your administration is being manipulated some people who are not really after the salvation of souls but more of protecting the funds of the church. How could that woman disagree with another Bible study? If the church has to spend all the money if only to save souls then I found really nothing wrong with it. In fact the Lord will bless a church that do exhaust their resources for saving soul. The church is for saving soul and not for saving money. And how could they even elect a man who has 5 wives. Don't they know what the Lord requires of a deacon? He should be the husband of only one woman. These things are quite intolerable I should say. So if I were you I'd leave that church. There is no such thing as perfect church but there is such as thing as a good and right church. I believe your church is not right in a lot of aspects. Indeed if a church is a composition of more hypocrites rather than true Christians I would go and find another church where I could get sweet fellowship true believers who follow the Word of God without reservation. It is bothersome to worship with people who make the Bible fit their lifestyle instead of fitting their lifestyle with the Bible.
@salonga (27969)
• Philippines
16 Feb 12
I am sorry I made lots of typos and I miss a word or two in many of my sentences. So sorry for that but I know you understand the message after all. Thanks for reading and for posting this interesting topic. God bless you!
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
17 Feb 12
@salonga thank you for all of your responses. I am not easily influenced by other people either. I know what God has said and there I put my faith. I think I may have confused you. The woman did object to the Wednesday night Bible study because she thinks that the one the preacher conducted a month was enough. Those were not costing the church anything. The lady disagreed with starting a Sunday evening service more out of laziness than money, I believe. She knows that the preacher would not expect any more for the evening service. In all fairness, there are only about 11 people who attended services here regularly. It is a very small church so it only takes one or two members to make it seem like a total upheavel. The deacon issue is the main thing for me. IT has causeed two other members to leave the church. Don't worry yourself over typos and grammatical stuff. I understand you perfectly. I thank you for your input.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Deedee I have attended many churches and none that I attended wanted to read the whole bible. Then one day I found this man that teaches the bible chapter by chapter verse by verse. He was on TV and I have been listening to him for years. Did you know God is a divorcee? Listen to this man and he will teach you more then you might have ever known. And the good thing about it is you never have to leave your home to listen to Gods word! http://www.shepherdschapel.com/index.htm I have learned more then I was ever taught. And I am so much happier with the way this man teaches. He don't go on and on about things other then the bible he teaches you straight from the bible. He won't tell you what church to go to. He will tell you to trust in Gods word! Good luck maybe God has you in that church to plant a seed. To open someone's eyes. If you want to hear the truth about Gods word go listen to that man and see what God wants you to see.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
13 Feb 12
No, I have never came across that bit of informaion (about God being a divorce'e)in the Bible. I disagree with the never having to leave my home to hear God's word. I do not mean to offend you my friend. I surely do not mean to imply there is anything wrong with the way you have chosen to learn of God's word and worship Him. I prefer to go to church and read my Bible and pray for God's guidance in understanding Him. I do not put too much stock in what any mortal being says about God's meaning.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Don't worry hun you didn't offend me. I just have been to too many churches and have heard this and that. But most of them are one verse charlies. Meaning they read a verse here and go off on stories about their lives or someone else's life and not a single word about Gods word. This man we listen to the whole hour is the bible being read and explained verse by verse chapter by chapter. There is a chruch down the road from our house it teaches if you don't belong to their faith that you can't get into Heaven you will go straight to hell! No kidding! There is a church in town that teaches you don't have to understand Revelation you will be flown away before Christ returns to reclaim HIS kingdom! I asked the preacher at that church about Revelation and he said don't worry that I wouldn't be here when that book came into play in this world! Really! When Revelation means to unveal, to reveal! God was a divorcee really! Here go listen to his teachings who knows you might be able to help someone else learn the truth about Gods word. http://www.shepherdschapel.com/index.htm
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
17 Feb 12
@fre_man Isn't funny how so many churches and preachers are like that? I believe we are suppose to read ALL of the Bible. That preacher doesn't know where we will be when God comes back! The Bible says no man knows that. I am still boggled at the fact that I had never heard that God had been married, let alone that He had been divorced too.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
13 Feb 12
You are not alone in your dilemma.Have you noticed the many churches that are empty, closed, and even falling down? Christianity, threatened by science, and higher education is no longer the solace of the people. The miracles of Jesus,seem like biblical fiction, and are like fairy stories when compared to the modern everyday medical miracles that are routine in today's hospitals. There has been no followup on the bible, no updates, nothing new for 2000 years. Preachers love to say, "Faith can move mountains," but show me a mountain that faith has moved! Good luck! In finding a Church Home!
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
13 Feb 12
Yes barehugs, I have noticed and it deeply saddens me. I don't understand why this happens. People need to realize that all good things come from God. That science and technology that allows for these modern day miracles in medicine, comes from God who gives us the ability to learn and create the things we need. I have said that very thing to people who try to tell me the Bible was written from old hand me down stories and fables and no longer pertains to us today.The Bible was written one time, for all time. God has not had anyone write revisions or supplements to His word. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, so there is no need for His word to change. As far as faith moving mountains, the trick is to be truly faithful. One has to believe that he/she can indeed move a mountain before it can be done. Maybe there just hasn't been anyone whose faith has been strong enough.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
13 Feb 12
You forgot the bad things God send us! How about the wars that have killed millions, the Religious Scams that have made the christian church the richest business organization in the world. The religious heir-achy that has for centuries raped, and abused the Mothers and daughters (to say nothing of the boys)of the church, and today is buying it's way out with billions of dollars stolen from the poorest people of the world, while the Pope works to cover it all up! God, it'll take a lot of faith to right that mess!
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
19 Feb 12
@barehugs God did not create wars. Those are born out of the evil hearts of man. God did not cause people to perpetuate scams on other people. You can not blame God for the bad things in this world. God does not cause people to do evil that they do, but just the opposite. If God is ruling your life and heart, then, all you do and say will be out of love for your fellow man. There are people who profess to be Christian that are not truly so. You are right, it will take a lot of faith in God to right the mess that the world is in.
@urbandekay (18314)
12 Feb 12
You say that, "...the preacher, of all people, should be telling the church when they are not doing what is quite right." Actually, all should be doing that, the preacher is not in authority, as Jesus says, 8But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren. 9And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. 10Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ. We are to live as brothers and sisters with none in authority, this is a clear direct command from Jesus. all the best urban
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
I will have to consult my bible because I still think that the Preacher has to be held accountable for what he teaches, either through his word or through his actions. I know that I am ultimately under God's authority, and not any mortal man's, but a person who is new in their walk of faith may be led astray if they hear something wrong from a preacher. My point about the preacher telling the church when they are doing wrong was more a point that he should not be side stepping issues and he should be standing up for what is right according to the Bible. The preacher is the one person people seek advice, council, and guidance from when we do not understand things.
@urbandekay (18314)
12 Feb 12
All are accountable for not just what they teach but for all they do and say. What is the denomination of your Church? It is not unknown in the non-authoritarian Churches for people, so moved to do, to stand up and correct the preacher all the best urban
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
13 Feb 12
I do not associate myself as belonging to any denomination. I am simply a child of God. I presently attend an Advent Christian Church (not to be confused with the Seventh Day Adventists). I think we should be able to speak up if we are unsure of what the preacher is teaching us or if we are sure he/she is incorrect.
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
12 Feb 12
I can understand your dilemma, but it doesn't sound like a healthy environment for you to be in. There seems to be power struggles and lack of true leadership and lack of unity. How can a church be healthy and strong if there's power struggles going on? How is the church body going to be healthy and effective in reaching the lost if the leadership don't get their acts together. I would say be true to yourself and stand up for what's right. Yes people aren't going to like that, but you can't help how anyone else act. If it were me I'd be hunting for another church fellowship. The decision's yours but some decisions will be hard to make.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Exactly Masihi! How are these things going to get any better if everyone just leaves the church? i know of two other members who have decided to seek out another church. That is the dilemma for me. How do I stand up for what I believe is right and not stay to fight for what I believe? I already know that mine is not a popular opinion, but I am not concerned with that. I am trying to do what is right in the eyes of God. As I have posted previously, I will visit other churches and end up where the Lord sees fit for me to.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
12 Feb 12
I can understand the point of staying and speaking out but you'll be in for a hard time, trust me, I know. They'll push you down and it'll be a david vs goliah situation, unless G-d DOES have u to stay in there and be a witness/prophet. Churches shut down and new churches are planted. That happens all the time all over the world. As for as the people is concerned, only the Holy Spirit will be able to convict and change a person. Some people don't listen to His leading, and that's not your fault. You're only responsible for your own relationship with G-d, and what He tells you to do or where to go. I hope this will encourage you I'll keep u in my prayers, and please keep us posted.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
You are encouraging Masihi and I especially thank you for your prayers. I will keep you posted on developments as they happen. I will be going to my little church in a few hours for what may be the last time. I had a discussion with the preacher Friday night who says that he might have a few words on some things, so I am interested to see if he will finally get off the fence on certain issues.
1 person likes this
@Mashnn (4503)
12 Feb 12
If you think that your faith or your beliefs are been compromised, then I would suggest you to leave the church and look for another church. I think you will have a heard time attending such church because you are against what they are doing in the church.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
My faith and beliefs are strong. I will continue to stand by what I believe. I believe that there are really good and true Christians in this little church, but I am afraid that I will be looking for a new church. It saddens me to leave those ones that I hold dear in my heart.
@Mashnn (4503)
12 Feb 12
True. There are always good people or innocent people in the church but for the sake of not compromising your faith, it is better for you to just leave the church.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Thank you Mashnn. I have already decided to go and visit with other churches.
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
12 Feb 12
I am not a religious person so maybe I should not comment, but I am a deep thinker and I have often wondered how people think, there are many religious books and each one of them is supposed to be THE book, and the follwers of each book all believe in what is written, who wrote these books, and how are we to know which book if any are for real...I have heard of a few things in the bible being said not to be true so how do we know if any of it true....and from what I have seen from nearly all the books they seem to have been written by men for sure.....
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Well I only put my faith and belief in one book, the Bible. I believe that it is the one book that is written as instructed and inspired by God to the people that He chose to write it. You have to believe within your heart. You have to have faith.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 12
Historical evidence, of course, does point to the Bible having been written by humans. However, this doesn't mean that the contents of it are false, or not divinely-inspired. Only that they're written by humans.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (19664)
• Canada
22 Feb 12
God and the Bible love deep thinkers and especially if they are sincere and fair. Jesus was known for his wisdom. Notice how one translation put what Jesus said in modern context. Matthew 11:19 The Message (MSG) 16-19"How can I account for this generation? The people have been like spoiled children whining to their parents, 'We wanted to skip rope, and you were always too tired; we wanted to talk, but you were always too busy.' John came fasting and they called him crazy. I came feasting and they called me a lush, a friend of the riffraff. Opinion polls don't count for much, do they? The proof of the pudding is in the eating." The truth gives good results. It brings benefits. If the pudding is good, it will taste good. Some books of the Bible are among the oldest books written. We just have to read and try to understand what it is saying to see the wisdom. The real true God's wisdom would have to be far superior to man's. If we examine the Bible fairly, for ourselves, and we have good in our hearts then we will see the practicality and benefits and the good results that come form following the Bible as a way of life. If applied, then it will make us the best people possible!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Feb 12
im glad that u still want to find other church to attend to even if u are not blessed by the your present church. Just want to share my opinion. Hypocrisy in the church is not the fault OF the church but by the people in it.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
17 Feb 12
@sexybeast thank you. Oh rest assured my friend, whether it be at this little church or at another, I will be in a church come Sunday morning. I think that perhaps those of us who are not hypocrits should stay and pray that those who are will come to see the error of their ways. I believe that I will continue on at this church for just a little longer (till the next board meeting). The preacher asked the congegation to consider eliminating the position/title of deacon all together. I am interested to see if the one's fighting for the one man to be deacon will vote to agree to doing away with the title. I will also be looking for a church to attend on Wednesday nights. This seems to be a rare thing to find anymore.
• United States
12 Feb 12
Ultimately, no one can tell you whether or not to stay with this church. Keep in mind, though, that you don't have to agree with everything that your church leaders say in order to participate. In fact, I am a Buddhist and I frequently go to the church because I agree with only a few things and I want to feel at one with the divine. That being said, if their beliefs are so far from yours that you can't stay in good conscience, then it is your right to leave.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
13 Feb 12
nturecama, thank you for your response. I know that I have to make my own decisions, but it is nice to have the input of all you that have responded in helping me to make that decision. I don't think it is a matter of everybody agreeing whether this man should be allowed to be a deacon or not. I think it comes down to a twisted power struggle type thing. I think that the man's wife believes that holding the title of deacon makes her husband something special in the church. As the Bible describes the role of a deacon, he is to be a mere servant at tables and to widows. The man himself did not want to be a deacon and was relieved when the preacher asked if he felt qualified. The man said he did not. We all thought that was the end of it until our last business meeting a last Sunday. It was his wife who originally said that he would be a deacon, as her husband was not present at church that day. He has no desire to be a deacon and do anything a deacon is suppose to do, he just basically doesn't want to have his wife continue to nag him. I hope that the church votes to just do away with the position/title as I feel that it is unnecessary to have them in our tiny church. I think that we are all suppose to be servants to our fellowman and we are suppose to do for others without expecting praise and prestige. So again, I say, I don't think that we have different beliefs(save for the wife of the man in question) so much as some of the membership are not acting out of love for others as we are suppose to, but rather out of a sense of entitlement and desire for power.
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
12 Feb 12
my friend hold on to your faith, maybe God have been testing you in present of these people, remember that the one that you should be worshiping was our Lord only, no matter how badly our environment has
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
13 Feb 12
I will hold on to my faith, airkulet. I think that perhaps you are right and God is testing my faith in Him and my will to follow Him. Perhaps it is Satan working to destroy this little church. I don't know. What I do know is that after the morning service, the preacher asked that the members of record stay for a few minutes so that he could have a brief discussion. He stated that it was his opinion that we should just do away with the titles of deacons. The church has such a small number and there really is no need for the postion/title of deacon if everyone is doing as they should, and serving God by serving others. I agree with him. The preacher also said that he believed that the church should be ran democratically and he would support whatever decision the was voted and carried at the next board meeting. I still have a bit of a problem with the fact that he didn't just put his foot down and say that according to the word of God this one man can not becomea deacon. I believe that he is the shephard of the church, so to speak, and as such, he should be leading us to do what is right according to the Bible, but I am sympathetic to the preacher's belief that he is to teach us and that he does not feel that it is his place to over ride what the majority votes on. He has spoken his opinion and belief on the matter that are based upon what he believes the Bible says concerning deacons, so he will now let the church do as she will.
• United States
12 Feb 12
first i would pray to God about it. study his word so that you can recieve His answer. overall, it does sound like that the preacher isn't really doing you or the congregation any justice. God has his rules for a reason. it is not up to us to pick and choose what we can and cannot do. it is what God wants and still wants us to do. if the preacher is only preaching certain parts of the bible, then how is the congregation learning how to recieve God's blessing?? or even know that you're going to be able to get into Heaven??? he needs to preach from the whole Bible.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
Hello Angel. The preacher does preach all of the bible. He has said what he believes but will not tell the church that a certain man can not be a deacon. He did try to solve the problem by asking the man before if he felt as though he were qualified to become a deacon. The man said no, but has now (a month later) changed his mind, because his wife has made a big deal out of it. For some reason, people believe that the position of deacon is one of power in the church. It is not. Deacons are suppose to be servants.They are suppose to be taking care of the widows and serving tables. As with every decision I must make, big, and small, I have prayed and consulted the scriptures over this matter. I am confident that God will direct me as He wills me to go. I am human though and it breaks my heart to leave certain members.
12 Feb 12
I think it depends on what is important to you. Do you still feel like you agree with the church's preaching and philosophy? If the church as in the teachings of that church still make you comfortable then you shouldn't worry what the other members do or say. If however you find that you no longer believe in the teachings of the church they you should probably look for a new church home.
@deedee328 (1127)
• United States
12 Feb 12
I believe that the Preacher does preach what God puts in his heart to preach. I also believe that he should stand up when the church goes against what God says is right. However, the preacher does not believe that it is his place to dictate to the church what it should do. I disagree with voting on things in the business meetings, just to find out that we will have to hold another vote because some of the more prominent members decide that they didn't like the way the first vote turned out. I am not concerned with what the other members say and do. My concern is how it looks to others outside the church. The Bible says we are not to be stumbling blocks to others who are have not grown strong in their faith. I do know that I would have an easier time getting my son to attend church if I were to go to another one that has programs for kids. Our church is small and consists of mostly older people so there is nothing for the children who tend to find the preaching of the sermon boring. Kids do need programs geared more toward their level of comprehension. I do believe that learning should be fun and interesting whether it is educational or christian teachings. I do not force my son to attend this church because I fear that he will come to resent the idea of going to church. I know that he enjoyed church and learning of God at other churches that we attended, but all those had classes for children his age and were not stuck out with the adults being preached to in a vocabulary that was above their level of comprehension. I do take exception to the fact that some members seem to think that there is something wrong with the baptists. I do not believe we should judge or decide on the correctness on what other people believe. That is for God to to decide and correct if there is anything wrong with it. I do not believe it is right for one man to judge another man's Christianity because he disagrees with actions done by the first man. There are quite a few things I disagree with in this little church, but if I leave this church and other members follow suit, then how will this church grow in respect to doing God's will and in numbers? What does that say to outsiders?