Would you ever consider becoming a surrogate mother?

surrogate mother - surrogate mothers
United States
February 20, 2012 12:09pm CST
I have thought about it, only because for couples out there who deserve to have a family can not. but after becoming a mother I could never have a baby and then turn around and give it up. I couldn't even give it up for adoption. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those its just not something for me.
2 people like this
17 responses
• India
21 Feb 12
i dont think so, i can be one. i understand the emotions of the couple, but it still does not hit me hard enough to consider doing that. i m right now wondering for the reason why?. ..still m blank and wud not do it.
1 person likes this
21 Feb 12
i have read about surrogacy and i would love to do it, my sons are all fully grown now and 2 of them have kids of their own, so if i wasn't too old i would probably give a childless couple a beautiful gift that they could not give themselves, i would care if i was judged because at the end of the day it would be between me and the chosen couple and no one else, so yes, if i were younger i would, the child would not be mine, i would be the person who incubates this child for the couple, i have never cared about what others think, and i never will especially when it has nothing to do with them, plus i am a strong person emotionally so it wouldn't be hard for me to hand over a baby, because it wouldn't be my baby, it would be theirs, the reason why i have not done this is because after i had my 3rd child, i was sterilized and it cannot be reversed, but if i had the option i would
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8527)
21 Feb 12
I do not have children of my own yet, and I would not want to be a surrogate Mother for anybody else before I had my own children incase something should go wrong during the pregnancy to mean that I was unable to become a Mother ever again. However, I would like to think that it is something that I would do for a friend if they wanted to have a baby and weren't able to with their own body. I would expect somebody to do the same for me if I needed to. Nobody can put a price on the gift of having a child, and it is something that everyone should be able to have if there is any way around it for them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Feb 12
i do not think of that for this time around. i myself would like to experience the beauty of motherhood. so i need to experience it first. the surrogate things is very far from my mind. i need to show some proof that i am capable of giving birth to normal baby. would only consider hiring a surrogate f i could not bear a child. so need help from other.on being a surrogate that would takes a lot of courage. i would only consider such idea if i already have plenty of children that i would not mind to help other have their own child..
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
21 Feb 12
I do not think i could be...though i can carry full term without problems, i do not think i could carry someone else's "sperm" lol other than my husband's plus if i carry it that means it is MINE sounds selfish? but i guess i am not that selfless when it comes to things like this.
1 person likes this
@MissPiggy (1751)
• Indonesia
20 Feb 12
I never thought of being a surrogate mother, but I'm thinking about being a mother of my own children without getting married and without people judging me. The problem is, if I do it, people would judge me. :( And if I wait until I got married, well, I don't know how long should I wait. :'( I really want to have my own babies...
• United States
20 Feb 12
Did you mean having a baby with your boyfriend without being married or did you mean getting artificially inseminated? If you meant with your boyfriend then I'm not married and have 2 children by him and my oldest by another man which I was never married to him either. If you meant the other way then if that is what you want to do and have the money for both the costs of that and to take care of a child by yourself then I say go for it, it is no ones business but your own. Who cares what people think. right?
@MissPiggy (1751)
• Indonesia
21 Feb 12
Well, ladies, this should answer the similar statement and question. I know a baby needs dad and it will be better if I have a boyfriend who would become one. The problem is, I don't have a boyfriend. :( Really boohoo... And yes, sometimes I'm thinking about this inseminated thing. I think it's great, but I still need to save some money to do it as I live only in a small town and this kind of insemination is only in big cities. :(
• Ireland
20 Feb 12
I've thought about this before. I'm not yet a mother but hope within the next 5 years to be one. I would like to think that I could give the gift of a life to somebody. I think that you need to be in the right frame of mind for it. If you've already had the children you want to have, why not? Having someone else's egg and sperm i.e. someone else's embryo implanted in your womb, if you bear that in mind and bear in mind that this is a gift that you are giving to a desperate family who will love that child, then it might make the decision to do something like this easier. Without question if one of my two sisters could not bear children and I could, then I would give the gift of surrogacy to one of them if that is what they wanted.
• United States
20 Feb 12
I think if it were someone in my family then I could probably do it. I don't know it would be a tough choice either way. anyway it was just a question, thanks for the reply
@mcart82 (87)
26 Feb 12
The other day, a friend of mine and I were discussing this. I think it sound a lot easier that what it is, like you say it has to be very hard to give up someone who you've carried for 9 months, who you've felt move etc... I could not see myself doing it. I am pregnant right now and cannot even imagine myself doing it for anyone else. Adoption is a good option for people who can't have kids, there are a lot of kids that need good parents and have no one. I think that is something that should be thought of first.
• United States
24 Feb 12
The only 100% possible way I could ever do this, would be if I were helping out a family member, but after having my own, I couldn't give the baby away, even though the baby were never mine to begin with
@TheCatLady (4696)
• Israel
22 Feb 12
As a surrogate, it's not your baby. It's basically a womb for rent. It's not your egg or your husbands sperm.
• Canada
21 Feb 12
Like a lot of other things, it takes a special kind of person to do that. I could not grow something inside my body, regardless of who's sperm and ovum created it, only to turn around and give it away.
@SarahAlyx (181)
• United States
20 Feb 12
Great discussion! That is a very tipsy topsy topic because of everything involved. I feel personally though that I would be able to do it. But when the time actually came/comes I probably wouldn't be so sure but, from reading the comments it seems as though people think it's easy. I've done quite a bit of research on it and there's a lot of money involved (usually) and psychological testing, physical testing, and so on and so forth. I think the testing is what would stress me out the most and make me fail in all honesty. But if I passed I feel as though I could do it. Keeping in mind that I'm just carry a gift to give to somebody else. As detached and messed up as that sounds, I really feel as though that's how it would have to be. Being able to compartmentalize different things in your life can give you a whole new perspective good or bad it's new. In the end though I would love to be able to give the gift of life to a couple that can't do that for themselves. But I'm also saying this with no children at the moment although me and my husband just started trying so maybe my perspective will change. :)
@dorannmwin (36661)
• United States
20 Feb 12
In most situations I don't think that I would be able to be a surrogate mother. However, I can also think of at least one exception. I had a friend (she passed away a couple years ago, however) that had experienced multiple miscarriages in her life and I did tell her that if she wanted to have a baby I would be willing to carry one for her. The reason that I would have done that for her is because she was a good friend and also because I know I would have been able to be a part of her child's life.
@samaire (154)
• United States
20 Feb 12
No. I'm too scared of the birth so when i do it it will be for my child! Surrogare mothers are doing something really beautiful but i don't think that i could give the child after it's birth!! It will be too hard
@carolbee (16243)
• United States
20 Feb 12
It's not something I could do when younger either. My heart would be too heavy to carry a baby and then have to turn it over to the parents. I get attached pretty easily and it would tear me apart. I never understood why my mother gave me up for adoption until I actually met her when I was 31. She was very young when she got pregnant and it just didn't work out. I gave her credit for adopting me out to another family who had the means to raise me and give me a good education.
@ShyBear88 (16874)
• United States
20 Feb 12
If a person I knew and loved so every much couldn't have a baby. Yeah I would be a surrogate. A lot of surrogates carry other peoples babies with that couples both DNA. Some women's bodies just can't hold a pregnancy. So it wouldn't be hard for me to give up a baby I carried for 9 months. Yeah I'm a mom and I love my daughter if was a child of my own flesh and blood of course I wouldn't be able to give them up that easily but I promised someone a baby I"m going to give them that child. A lot of surrogates like biological parents to children that are adopted are still part of that kids like. I would love to be part of that child's life and say hey I carried you and I gave birth to you and it was a great experiences to see you with your parents now and how happy you made them as parents. I think once a parents see who happy they have made another person its a bit easier for them to just let go. Your not turning your back on them your giving them a life with people that truly want them in there life and you can still want them in your life just in a different way. My husbands cousin she can't have kids of her own. I've offered her if she wants one day to have kids I would be more then happy to carry a baby for her to term. If she wants to adopted one day we will support her in that as well. She is like a second mom to my daughter.
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Feb 12
I have thought about it several times and to be honest I feel the way you do. I get such a close bond to my children while being pregnant that I could not go through a pregnancy and give the baby up. I would feel like it was my child. I think the woman that are strong enough to do this are angels. People that deserve and want children so much need these kind of women to bless them with a child of their own. I wish I was strong enough but I am not. I want to be someone who can bless another in this way but that bond would be too strong to let go of...