Do you hang out with friends without your spouse/partner?

United States
February 25, 2012 6:20pm CST
My husband can be anti social at times. And I'm not an anti social person at all. I love to spend time with family and friends. I'm a very social person and do well around others. I try to keep in contact with friends and spend time with them. Even when my husband doesn't want to hangout I try to still make arrangements with them.
4 people like this
17 responses
26 Feb 12
when i was with my ex, he was a very controlling person, he "tried" to stop me from seeing my friends, but it didn't work, he wwuld answer the phone and tell them that i wasn't at home, or he would leave the room when they came round, he wasn't a nice person to them at all, obviously he wanted me to himself but i wasn't having any of it, this is why he is now my ex, i am a social person and if i am with someone i want them to be part of it, just like they would me to be part of their thing, that's what sharing is all about, but the ex didn't like it at all, so we broke up, sees that he is like that with his new partner now, so i am glad that he's not in my circle of friends because it was an awkward situation and very uncomfortable
• United States
28 Feb 12
I'm sorry to hear that your ex was a controlling person. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be with a person like that. I'm glad that you are no longer with him. If you haven't already I'm sure you will find someone who will appreciate you for the person that you are. And not try and hold you back. Being a social person is really good and it allows you opportunities to be around many people.
28 Feb 12
well since i dumped him life has been much easier, i see my friends a lot and it's not awkward when they come round
• United States
2 Mar 12
Yeah I understand what you are saying. Even though my husband isn't the controlling type it still feels awkward when my friends come around because he is antisocial. But I'm still making an effort to make sure that I hang out with my friends. It's good for me and them. It allows us to catch up on each others lives and what we are dealing with.
• Ireland
26 Feb 12
My man sounds like a carbon copy of yours. I also love to spend time in the company of others. For a long time we lived in each other's pockets and didn't spend a lot of time apart or socialising separately. Now I usually head off by myself to have a coffee with friends or family and that works for us as I like to socialise and he likes a bit of peace and quiet with me out of the way haha.
• United States
2 Mar 12
lol. Yeah that does sound like us. I've had to realize that I still need to do things without him. Since he is not a social person I have had to tell others that I can make arrangements with them but I can't really schedule anything as far as us going with them somewhere as a couple. Because most of the time he would rather just stay at home. So I hope that they are starting to see that I do like to spend time with them, it's just my husband is the one that is anti social. Thanks for sharing with me.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
4 Mar 12
You're welcome Dominique, it was nice to find that I wasn't the only one living this way lol
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
There's nothing wrong with being very social and wanting to hang out with friend always. Me, I always hang out with friends without my boyfriend. It's a very special for just me and my friends. I can make him join too sometimes, but not all the time. The life with friends and the life with partners must be different/separated/managed.
• United States
11 Mar 12
I'm glad that you hangout with your friends without your boyfriend. That time I agree is very special. That is a good point and way of looking at it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.I appreciate hearing everyone's ideas and ways of living their life.
@Metatronik (5911)
• Pasay, Philippines
1 Mar 12
I think there is nothing wrong of hanging out with friends if you are not with your spouse and partner. As long as you are decent enough that you are not flirting with other people then fine by it.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I think that it is a good thing to hangout with friends as well. Yeah and you difinitely shouldn't be flirting with other people. You be there with your friends hanging out with them. And enjoying their company,having a good time. Doing things that we enjoy with our friends is refreshing.
@jricky1 (6809)
• China
28 Feb 12
That's really good of you to do so.Hanging out with friends is good caus nobody could live without friends.Anyway,i would do so if sometimes my partner wouldn't like to do.
• United States
28 Feb 12
I agree with you. Life wouldn't be fun without friends. I'm so thankful that I have some.:) They are really nice and I appreciate them being a part of my life.Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me I appreciate it.
• Canada
26 Feb 12
I do spend time with friends without my spouse at times since our schedule doesn't work out the same sometimes or wehave other obligations. We both like to meet up with friends whenever we can but when one of us can't, it doesn't mean that the other can't go hang out with friends either....
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm glad to hear that you and your spouse are able to hang out with friends. It's so nice to be able to get together with our friends and catch up on all that has been happening. I know I really look forward to spending time with my friends. I'm able to talk openly with them and they listen and they do the same with me.
@mcart82 (87)
26 Feb 12
I think thats fine, me and my fiance do that all the time, we have different interests, so sometimes I go out with my friend to dinner, shopping and things like that and sometime he goes out with his friends and hangs out. We also do the all together kind of hang out, but we live together and sometimes is good to take some time for ourselves. Take a break, even though I love him sometimes I need some time off with my friends.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm glad that you both are able to spend time with your friends. And it nice to go out together with friends as well. I'm happy you both are able to enjoy yourselves while you are apart. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
@shadjee1 (604)
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
I do hangout with friends without my husband. We actually both do. Before, he even set a specific day of the week to be with his friends like every Friday. This is so we can give each other space and build trust. We only have some conditions, whenever we go out, we should tell where exactly we are going to hang out, who i am going with (it should be someone we know), and what time we will go home.
• United States
26 Feb 12
I'm glad that you two do this. I think that is a good idea. That way you both are able to spend time with friends and hangout. I think we all need a little time with our friends. The conditions that you both have with one another is also great. That way you both are able to show respect for one another. Thanks for sharing.
• United States
26 Feb 12
I don't really hang out with friends to much outside of work because I am married and I feel that I need to be home with the kids and my wife. Now she thinks I need to go out more with my friends without her. I am not sure if that's a sign that she does not want to be around me that much or what, but that's what she says. I don't have that many friends besides work people and I don't really want to see them after work if I saw them for 8 hours at work.
• United States
26 Feb 12
I'm glad to hear that you want to stay home with your wife and kids. I can understand not wanting to hangout with work friends after work. Afterall you see them all the time at work. I hope that your wife is just trying to encourage you to spend time with friends so that you can socialize with others. But you could ask her to see the meaning behind it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
26 Feb 12
When my husband is around I also do make arangements. Since he is with his friends as well I don't see the need to abondon mine, even I know he doesn't like me too.
• United States
2 Mar 12
It is god for us to make arrangements without our spouse. It allows us that time to ourselves. To remember that we are individuals. Individuals that have interest in other activities. Thanks for sharing. I like to get together with my friends and I hope that my schedule will allow me more time to spend with them.
• Indonesia
26 Feb 12
I am not really like to hang out. But sometime like to go out with friends just having lunch or go to short social ceremony. My working time is very tight. So the time left usually I spend with my family than hang out.
• United States
2 Mar 12
Yeah things like that are fun. To get together for lunch or some other event. It is a godo thing that you spend time with family as family is very important. And when we don't have that much time available we have to prioritize. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
Yes,I do hang out with friends without my partner. It's a girls talk/hang out- so,that would be awkward if I tag him along.
• United States
2 Mar 12
Lol. Yeah that would be. I'm glad that you make time to hang out with your girlfriends. It really is a good thing to do. I'm hoping that I will be able to plan a girls weekend or something. We are never able to get together for something like that. But it would be nice for a group of my friends and I too get together like that once a year. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
26 Feb 12
We each will hang out with our friends without the other. It's nice sometimes to go out with friends. We also go out together to parties and other events. We're both about the same socially - not really social, but we enjoy seeing people once in awhile.
• United States
2 Mar 12
Yes it is a good thing to have the same view of things socially. It does make things easier. I'm a social butterfly and I like to be around and with people. I'm husband is the complete opposite and he likes to be by himself. When we were younger I knew this about him. Pretty much the only person he would talk with and hangout with was me. But for awhile he had got better about socializing with others. Now he's going back into his shell and so I have to adjust to that again. But I'm making an effort to spend more time with my friends because I don't want them feeling that I'm antisocial now because I'm not.
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
Yes, I do hang out with my friends just myself, but of course with the permission from my husband. Sometimes If he feels like joining or he likes the crowd he will join us. My friends and I only hang out only once in a while, like in a year once or twice. Lucky me my husband is a very understanding person he knows that I have to be with my friends from time to time, just like he needs to hang with his friends as well. I guess it's a matter of give and take and trust to one another.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I agree with you. I'm sure that you are very happy that your husband is understanding. It makes a big difference. I don't hang out with friends all that often either. But I'm working on spending more time with them. I like to go out and spend time with them. It keeps our friendship going. It is also good for me to get a break from all the normal mundane activities that need to be done. It is a matter of give and take and it's something both mates need to be able to do every once in a while.
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
I hang out with my friends and family without my boyfriend all the time. i don't see the point of always having my boyfriend around really. I mean he has his own life and friends so I don't see the point of always dragging him along with me.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm glad that you hang out with your family and friends a lot without your boyfriend. Usually when a couple is dating they spend all their time together.It's good that you both have a balance. It will go along way in your relationship. Girl time is so much fun. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
26 Feb 12
I do try to hang out with my friends without my husband from time to time, and he tries to do the same as well. It's not always easy, as we don't all have the same schedule, but we will still try and make the effort to do something with them. As much as we love spending time with each other, we both feel that we need time away from each other, whether it's with our friends or not.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I know what you are saying. Same here we don't all have same schedules so it can be difficult to get everyone together. But i sure do enjoy it when i'm able to get together with my friends. It's such a nice treat to be able to catch up on all that is going on with everybody. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
26 Feb 12
I used to not but now I do. It's much more "healthy" that way. Of course now I can be a bit busier, I like beign busy so hardly get to see my friends as much as I would like to see them.
• United States
2 Mar 12
I'm glad that you spend time with your friends when you can. It is very healthy to do that. My husband is so anti social that sometimes our friends start to think that I'm that way. But I'm not anti social at all. So I'm putting forth more effort to spend time with them even if he doesn't. So I'm starting to have to tell them that I can schedule something with them but I can't schedule anything as far as both of going to an event together. And I'm hoping that will help them to see that I do like to do things with them.