Which is better? Meeting your life partner at a young age or at a later age??

@cyclopz (199)
Philippines
February 26, 2012 9:02am CST
Well something came to my mind when i saw two couples with their baby in a stroller, just looking at them i could say that they are both minors(maybe in their mid teens arouno 16 years old). They have known each other at a young age as they are and i was thinking if is it much better if you met your parner and marrying her at a young age or would it be better meeting one's partnet at a later age? I think there are also some pros and cons about this, like when you have met your partner at a younger age and you have been together for quite a long time then there might be a tendency that you might get bored with the company of each other which i think also happens in most long time relationships. Maybe people who get married at a young age would get bored with their partner after 10, 20 or 30 years later, unlike those who got married at their later age of 25 to 30 where they still on the stage of getting to know each other and they still have a long way of exploring and probbably they would get bored someday at the age of 70 or so. Im not quite sure about it but it just came to my mind, maybe some people also managed to still enjoy the company of their partner eventhough how long they have ben together. I guess, partly it still depends on the person on how he or she would be handling their relationship. Do you also agree on this? What can you say about this? If you are already married, did you marry at a young age or later age? Which do you think is better? Marrying at a young age or later age? Meeting your life partner at an earlier age or at the later age? Just want other people's insight on this. Thanks for sharing guys and happy mylotting.
5 people like this
26 responses
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
Quite an interesting question. My answer would be similar to my previous posts-- Love happens. But it is hard work. Hard work keeps love happening, and more or less, it will be a rough journey. It is up to the each of the person to keep journeying on bumpy roads. As you pointed out, there are pros and cons to this. However, it doesn't matter in which point of time you found your partner for life. I think what matters is that you've found them. That in itself is a miracle. Some people take their whole lifetime finding out the one. It is just awful to live your life finding love. That's why I think it is better if you find your love one at an early age. But you gotta have a different perspective about love if you do. Instead of anticipating that at some point either of you will get bored, it's a lot better to anticipate how you will succeed at making it past the years of boredom. Boredom is a matter of perspective. I have been watching movies almost ever since I learned how to watch by myself, which is a really long time ago. Now that I am 31 years, old, I"m still passionate about watching movies. It's the same for music. I love movies and I love music. If I am able to sustain these kind of love, then I sure can find a way to sustain my affection for a person, if I'm willing to. Like I said, it is hard work. But if it is guided by love, it will seem like something you don't really have to work on. Anything driven by passion will be an easy task. If it is anything less than that, then it isn't love. Love is patient and kind-- I think that definitely sums it up.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (15744)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
3 Mar 12
Looking at a fully-lit world through partly-blind eyes, you'll naturally think the world is partly-lit (if you do not know that you are partly-blind). I know that the world is fully-love. Maybe I can't SEE how it's fully-love, but I don't think I can fully SEE all the love there is. Anyway, we're not talking about "love." We're talking about 'life partnership,' 'marriage' ... 'mate-hood,' you could call it. When that practice is done by 'following the ways of love,' it's more enjoyable for all parties involved; but what the two main parties really care about is 'the contract'---whether they both fulfill their ends of the bargain. That's why I think (for society as a whole, not necessarily for either partner's 'feelings') it's better to meet your life partner at a young age. That way you have a real reason to go out and accomplish good things (reasons better than 'public glory,' which always fades way too fast!)
@marty3888 (2359)
• United States
26 Feb 12
The biggest con about marrying when you are that young is people's personality goes nthrough the biggest change when you're 21 and 22 then any other age. So by the time they're thirty they are two different people then they were when they first got married.
1 person likes this
@maezee (33000)
• United States
26 Feb 12
I guess I would rather wait to find 'the one' later in life, so I had the first half to goof around and try new things and go new places instead of being tied down by being married.
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
Partly agree on this, but my only question is, wouldn't it be sweeter if you "goof around and try and go to new places" with your loved one? I think these kind of experiences allows for a stronger, more experienced relationships.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 12
I guess I'm what they call middle aged, literally in the middle of my lifespan and I met my other half just a couple years ago.I think as long as you find your soulmate it reall doesn't matter if you are young or old. It is true that if you meet when you are teens , it will be harder to keep the fire burning But it is not impossible. And Finally meeting when you are in your 30's or 40's just means you won't have as much time together. But Who knows. A young couple could meet and then be killed the next day. And a middle aged couple could meet and share their last 30 years together. Who Really knows. All I can say is Whenever it happens, enjoy being loved and love them right back.
@nangisha (3504)
• Indonesia
1 Mar 12
I personally think its time to married if I am mentally ready so I prefer at later age. Because its mean I am already prepare and more patient than in my teen age. Its also mean I had better salary because I had better degree its mean better job. So I can give better education for my child, and off course also have a mature husband who already prepare in making new family. We making family because we want to, not because we had to.
• India
29 Feb 12
I was married in 1966, i was 23 years young, my wife was 16, now all my kids are grown up, happily married, i have grandkids, some of my friends married late, some very late, the kids are not grown up to support them in old age, it is better to marry at age of 25.
@UmiNoor (3535)
• Malaysia
29 Feb 12
It all depends on whether you want to have children or not. If you want to have kids, you start your family early. You see many couples getting married late and finding it hard to have kids. That is because the woman is too old and even if she can have kids and if she married at the age of 35, how old do you think she will be when her child goes to pre-school and how old will she be when her child goes to college? It can be a burden on her physically and financially. I don't want to be too old to enjoy my children and be too tired to play with them. So I married at the age of 24 and I had my last child at the age of 37. She's nine years old now and I'm already in my late 40's. You cannot think about getting bored with your partner/spouse. Do you think that way with your children. Oh, I'm bored with my children. I see them for twenty odd years. I want some other child. No you don't so why do you have to think that way with your spouse whom you've spent the best part of your life with? Thinking only about leading an enjoyable life is hedonistic thinking. One cannot be so obsessed with oneself and only think about one's happiness. You live this life to also make others happy. And in making others happy, you'll be happy too.
@no_ming (137)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Hello cyclopz!:) Meeting your life partner at a young age is a good thing at least you know who will be your inspiration so you can do all things that you desired even if it is too difficult. But not necessarily that you have to get married at a young age..
• United States
27 Feb 12
Hi there! I think it depends on the person and that person's maturity and the like, as well as that of their partner. So many people aren't mature until their later 20s, and sometimes (as is the case with some people I know), they still aren't mature enough for a relationship in their 40s and so forth. Personally, I am so happy I found my husband very young. I was sixteen and he was twenty-one when we met, and we married when I was 20 and he was 25. That's young to marry now according to society, but if I'd had a choice at the time, I would have married about two years earlier. He was five years older than me, and just a bit less mature than I was at the time. I helped him through a lot, and he helped me grow as a person as well. At sixteen, I had already been working for two years and had owned a real estate business for a little over a year, and at the time, he'd been on his own since he was my age and abandoned by his family, as well as he had a work ethic not seen in most people of our generation. Compared to most people, I think we were mature beyond our years, and that was another thing that brought us together. My point is this...we met young, and we've been together for seven years as of March 31. To be honest, it saddens me that at most we can only get another fifty to seventy years together before our lives on earth are done. I can't imagine meeting my husband later on in life when I've already experienced relationships with other people and perhaps he would have, etc.; that would have taken so much of what was special out of our relationship and it severely cuts down on the time you have together before you move on. Long story short, I'm grateful I met my husband early...I'm selfish enough to want lifetimes and lifetimes with him, but at least I get a few more years in my relationship than most do in theirs.
• United States
27 Feb 12
I am 31 and have been engaged twice, never married, and I have to say not marrying the first guy was the best decision I ever made. We were 18 and there is no way we were ready to commit to a life together. I know I didn't have any idea who I was. I have evolved and changed so much since then and I am happy with who I have become and the things I have accomplished. I don't think that I would be who I am now or have done the things I've done if I had stayed with him. Now that I am older I can think about finding a mate that suits the me I am now and understands the experiences I have had.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 12
Either of them is fine depends on the situations. I can't say which one is better as each of them has pros and cons. So it does not matter...The love between two people does matter more than the period~(^^)
@xmanaopu (17)
27 Feb 12
I thing we should have wait for the right person, no matter what the age is. if u got the right person age does not matter. All u need to live a happy life. I thing we should have wait for the right person for the right time
@almond24 (1250)
• Hungary
27 Feb 12
I don't know which is better, I think the success of a relationship rather depends on the nature of the members and their communication. There is definitely a pro for getting married at a later age, that you already have experience, know what you want from your life, and can appreciate some qualities of your partner that you didn't care about when you were younger.
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
27 Feb 12
honestly do not know. I met my love for 20 years and it was for me very well. and then my life was transformed. The question is very complex because each meets his love in different ages and can never say an early age or later each as far as feel things differently. but when there is love like this is irrelevant because love brings more people and makes them feel happy and loved. Interesting a Discussion. nice day!
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
27 Feb 12
I would say that it would probably be better for a person to be with their life partner at an older age. Like you mentioned between 25-30. I think that is a really good age. When a couple are younger they still perhaps need time to grow and figure out what is really important. Even though when we were that age we thought we knew exactly what we wanted. Only to mature and realize we didn't know all we thought we did. So for some people it's better to wait until they are older. Now there are couples who were together young and are still together in their older years and are happy. But I would say for the most part it's good to wait longer.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
26 Feb 12
personally I don't see any difference meeting at later or younger age I used to think meeting at later age is better as that would give me time to focus on study and career but I met him at 24, married at 25, and I still finished study in fact taking a new course that I can afford, and I can go back to work if I want to it won't be high profile jobs, but it will pay the bills maybe it's different in my situation I have no kids
@yahnee (1250)
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
I got married while in my teens. I was blinded by love and never thought what the future will bring for the marriage. We were compatible in almost everything for we had the same tastes in most of everything. Like in any marriage, we had our ups and downs but we were able to overcome the trials because there was always love between us. However, we were not somehow destined for each other since the ex-husband found another woman to love. Everybody was surprised on knowing that the marriage ended. They thought we were the perfect couple. The ex-husband now has his own family. It must be because we were still immature when we got married. Maybe it was not yet the real thing for us. However, it's past and I am still looking forward to a better future.
• Italy
26 Feb 12
In my opinion too young it is not good because you'll loose him/her for sure. Espacially between 15 and 25 where life changes very fast. So if you find "your half" it would be a pity like often happens. Probably around 25-35 it should be the best because you have the possibility to create something together and to have the time to enjoy it.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
26 Feb 12
i would say at a later age. i feel just enjoying ones life at a younger age is better. i don't think there is any need to rush into marriage.
@GemmaR (8526)
26 Feb 12
I don't think it matters when you meet your life partner because, if they're your life partner because you love them a lot, then surely being with any other people would just be waste of the time that you could have been spending with this person instead. I know that I have been with my partner for three years, and I would say that it is likely that this is the person who I am going to be with for the rest of my life. However, I have had other guys before him, and if I could have been with this guy for longer instead of them I think that I would probably have just gone for it and stopped wasting time with other people.