Still Can't Talk to My Family about my Mom

Philippines
February 27, 2012 12:05am CST
My mom passed away last August and I really miss her. I feel bad because I just read my brother's post about missing my mommy and I cannot speak to him about it because I know I will just break down and cry. During the funeral I kept my feelings to myself and it was only when they left and I was alone at home that I was able to cry. The same goes to my auntie, my mommy's sister. Even if I can afford to call her, I don't because I know she will cry. And when I hear her cry, I will cry too. I am very sad, I really miss my mommy. When you lose a parent no matter how long it has passed, the heartache is still there.
2 people like this
9 responses
• Indonesia
27 Feb 12
Oh i can feel what u feel.t u should can accept ur problem.Keep strong.r mom always see u in heaven,she always want see u happy in ur life.If u sad she will be sad.So always happy.Good luck.
2 people like this
• India
27 Feb 12
Its really so sad. Have you also lost any dear?
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Sorry to read about this. I guess this is what we will really when we lose someone we love, specially parents and family members. No matter how long it has been, we will always remember them and will feel really sad. I am glad both my parents are still with me. I can never imagine losing them, I know I will be devastated... I keep praying to God to always give them good health. Like you, I can never start a conversation about someting this sad to someone without crying... and when I see or hear one cry, I will start crying too. So normally I keep things to myself until the emotion is too high and I couldn't keep it anymore.
@heartbit (237)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
sorry for your loss. i understand your pain as i have lost my dad eight years ago. cry if you have to, its a way of releasing your feelings. also, i think it is better if you talk about it. talk about the good things you and your mom did together and all the good stuff and happy memories. bear in mind also that wherever your mom is right now, she is in a better place and watching over you and the family she left behind. and ofcourse you dont want her to see you always crying. strive to be happy and keep your mom always in your heart.
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
I guess this feeling of sadness from me and my brothers stemmed from my recent trip. I was actually crying before I went on my hiking trip because I knew that when I got home, it would be to an empty house and I would have no one to tell my stories to. I remember when we were buying gifts and trinkets that I was holding back my tears because when my mom was alive, I used to buy the sweets and goodies for her. And my brothers would know about what I got for her because she would call them up and tell them that I got strawberries or something. Thank you for your response.
• India
27 Feb 12
It is a great loss indeed and no words can fill the emptiness you are feeling. I think you should talk to your brother and auntie. You people should share your emotions with each other. Your brother and auntie also must be feeling the same emptiness. Sometimes crying out the pain and suffering makes you feel lighter. So, try to talk to them.
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Maybe I will when I have enough strength and courage to do so. Thank you for your response.
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
27 Feb 12
It's normal to cry and it's normal to share feelings. Also... it's better to cry together and share those feelings as to cry alone or hold in and give other people the impression you don't care at all.
@GemmaR (8527)
27 Feb 12
It is always hard when you lose someone close to you, and you will find that the pain never goes away, it just becomes a little bit easier to live with because you learn ways to cope with your loss. With this being the case, it is always better to talk to people, although this can obviously be hard if you're all hurting in the same way. In our family, we talk about people who we've lost as if they're still there, which I think is a good way to cope with things because the person we've lost will always be there with us in our hearts and memory.
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Thank you for your response.
@AmbiePam (45809)
• United States
27 Feb 12
Don't you think it might be good for you guys to talk and cry it out? Sometimes that is part of the healing process - just crying. It might be healing for you and your brother, or you and your auntie. I am so sorry such sadness is weighing on your heart. I cannot imagine your pain.
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Thank you for your response. I'm just not used to showing my feelings, so I just bottle it up inside me. My brothers and my auntie knows this that's why when they can they call me to ask how I am and I answer automatically that I am okay. There are just some days when we miss mommy and those are the times where we would talk to her about things that are bothering us. A mother's love and wisdom really can't be measured or replaced.
• United States
28 Feb 12
It is not a good idea to keep your feelings bottled up. If you are upset you should be able to shatre your feelings. Have you ever gone for grief counseling? That might help. I know my mother-in-law has been gone almost 5 years now and I still miss her a lot. She and I were into crafting and we always went to craft fairs and craft stores looking for things. The other day I went into JoAnn's and started crying because I remembered how much she loved JoAnn's. Just think of all the great times you had and write your feelings down. I have been doing that and when I have children of my own I will share this book with my kids.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 12
Hi Anne, I am so sorry for your lost. And I get what you feel now. But, I still think no matter what will happen when you tell your family about your Mom.. You should do it. I mean, they have the right to know about what happened to their love one as well. I know it will be hard. But, it is still not fair if you don't let them know.. There are two advantages that you will get in telling them. First, they will know what happened and you can cry together. Second, you will not feel alone anymore because you have shared your sadness with those who love your mom as much as you love her. Be strong, Anne. Your mom never wanted to see you weak and drown into your sadness. Believe me, your mom is not anywhere but inside your heart.