Do your family pressured you to get married?

Philippines
February 27, 2012 1:20am CST
Have you decided to stay single forever? or Do your family pressured you to get married? For me, being pressured is the hardest part. Somehow our family didn't understand how embarrassed their child was when they pressured him/her to get married. On the other hand, singles are not encourage to get married unless they are pressured. I don't understand. My stand is that I want to get married not too early and not to late to prevent pressures. The problem is the right to come along. How about you? Do you like to be pressured to get married?
2 people like this
24 responses
• Australia
28 Feb 12
Hi and a happy day to all! I think in certain point, relating to your age or the way you do, family always ask " when will you get married?. In my case, i have been ask why i dont have plans yet about married life when i was 27 years old. But i always have answer to them that they respected. I never feel pressured. I think you will feel the pressure when you really want to marry but your partner doesn't and family is always mentioning the "marriage" and " wedding" subjects in every occasion. More pressuring on your part when they mentioned it along with relatives. That happens, but just give them an answer to it. It doesnt hurt to let them know why you dont want marriage yet. Its always good to let them know about and you will notice the difference of how they will mention the marriage word again. Parents will respect your decision. If your relatives dont, you dont need to follow them. Follow your heart.
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
27 Feb 12
To answer your question immediately tell you that absolutely do not like being put under pressure by anyone, especially inherently a delicate decision such as marriage. However, I must say that in my family fortunately things are not going so. I think to stay single forever. You know, even though this may seem strange that I have reached the age of 37 years, without ever having had a romantic relationship! But anyway to me it's okay, no one puts me under pressure and I am equally happy!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119128)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Feb 12
Now at sixty I have decided I am through with relationships and marriage. I have never been pressured to get married and would never allow my family to pressure me to get married. i am my own person and would have to be sure of my feelings before I ever got married.
@Cranos (273)
• Belgium
27 Feb 12
Nope, with the lenient divorce rules and almost no practising Christians left in my country, hardly anyone values marriage anymore. It has become a legal contract, nothing more and nothing less. Most of the people that still marry do it out of tradition or because it's convenient. My parents, for example, never even married.
@JohnRok1 (2051)
27 Feb 12
Belgians used mainly to practise Roman Catholicism rather than saving Christianity. But I believe there are evangelical churches in Belgium.
@Cranos (273)
• Belgium
27 Feb 12
It's a fairly new thing here. All small churches consisting mainly of immigrants and only in some of the bigger cities. Luckily they're not a part of our culture. Aside from those we also have a few cults, like the Jehova's witnesses. I'm sure that those parents still pressure their children into marriage but they're definitely the exception, not the rule.
• Jacksonville, Florida
16 Mar 12
My parents told us to get married but we wanted to anyway. We were already engaged for a year. I am so glad we did get married. We have been married for 7 years. So they told us to but we were already planning on it. I don't think being pressured if your not ready though is good. I think it should be up to the two people involved and no one else. Its not fair to pressure anyone into anything.
@rashme317 (250)
• Philippines
2 Mar 12
i don't want to stay single forever, I Wanted to build my own family someday ..i don't want to be pressured,
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
1 Mar 12
HI! I think the individual should be free to choose his/her time of marriage. There should not be any pressure as such from the family. You could always tell your honest opinion to your family members with justification and I hope they will understand and appreciate your stand. There was no pressure on me, when I decided to get married. I took the decision myself.
@UmiNoor (3535)
• Malaysia
29 Feb 12
When I was studying at the University, I already had a boyfriend and in fact, my parents discourage me from getting married too soon. They wanted me to finish my studies first. I didn't get any pressure from my parents to get married. In fact, the opposite happened. It's not comfortable to be pressured to do anything. I hate it when people force me to do something I don't want to do. When the right time comes, it will happen. Why pressure people to do something and then that person will make a mistake?
• United States
28 Feb 12
Actually, I've had the exact opposite experience than what you're saying. I wanted to marry younger than I did, and my parents encouraged me to stay in college at least two years before I married. I started a real estate business when I was fifteen, and met my husband when I was sixteen. I would have liked to have married at eighteen, and I think it would have saved me a lot of stress of schooling I didn't want (as well as it would have saved my parents the money they were paying for it!). Both him and I were financially stable and mature beyond our years, and despite being quite successful for my age my parents still told me to go to college for a degree I didn't want. After two years of following their dreams rather than mine, I finally told them that I would be eloping and dropping out of college. At that point, I was so tired of waiting (and a bit resentful, honestly) to get their approval that we didn't have anyone at our wedding at all, and simply eloped by ourselves with a minister. A lot of stress on everyone's behalf and financial burden on my parents could have been saved if I hadn't been pressured not to get married. I would have also liked to expand my business with the energy I'd put toward college at the time. Long story short, I think it saves a lot of trouble if you follow your own dreams, regardless of what your dream is. Dropping out of college and focusing on my relationship and business was the best thing I could have ever done; I simply wish I had done it sooner. On the other hand, other people may focus too much on a relationship and end up shorting themselves on the skills and hobbies they could be utilizing to let themselves grow as people. If you're pressured to get married, I would simply inform your parents that although you understand their concern, it is best you decide what's best for you. Making your own mistakes and your own successes is pivotal to coming to terms with your individuality.
@seemared (771)
28 Feb 12
I didn't need presurized but out of shyness I prefered it..and it worked!!
@CDIlove (38)
• China
28 Feb 12
if u want to married , you will be married , if you do not want , nobody can change your ideas
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
28 Feb 12
I guess being a guy got its advantage and not being pressured like if the person is a girl, for a guy having a gf for few years and not married and even may be staying together is quite normal , however, for the girl side must be facing pressure to get marry , i guess without marry nothing is confirm and cement , and properly no children or no grandchildren.
@ardoy0731 (6865)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
I have no plan to get married soon cause I'm still two of my siblings in their schooling.I lucky to have parents who always give us freedom to choose things and decide about things on our own as long as they have consent.They don't pressure at all and I do enjoy being single.
@beenice2 (2336)
• Canada
27 Feb 12
My Parents never pressured me to get married, one of my brothers had it funny one time, he said " You know there is at least 2 or 3 that might be a good choice for at church and than he told me the names, and I burst into laughing and said I don't think so you know, I have better taste than that and so the subject close somehow. You know I think it is good to not wait too late to get married and or not too young either, but if you don't feel really ready ask yourself why? When you are getting close to 30,35 years of age well you people will tease you about getting up there you know and....I got married I was almost 29, but I married the one that I loved not the one my brother had in mind, it is good to ask advice to your parents if it is a good choice but than at a certain age you have to know more for yourself,and ask God's guidance if you are christian wish does work and is always the best thing to do.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
27 Feb 12
After a terrible marriage I decided to stay single. I was for over 21 years. Now I just married again but my husband and I live in a different country. I never ment to get married again since the single life I have is the best life I ever had. I still like to be single and can't say how future will be (my husband is not allowed to come to my country I have no plans to go over there forever). I would never let anyone pressure me to get married to someone or let anyone force me to do something I don't like. My life is way too precious for me. I had a terrible childhood and marriage and had to fight and sacrifice a lot to come as far as I am now. Freedom, the right to live your life the way you like is way too precious to just give it up to please someone else.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Being a single is not good enough, my friend. Two is better than one because you have someone to talk about anything. You can tell about your problems,your dreams and most of all there is someone who listen when you want you have trials and take care of you when you feel down...
• India
27 Feb 12
Hello friend! At first sad for you! But where do you have problem to marry? It is a duty of parents. Dont you think that? They loves you so much. And we cant leave single whole life thats true. Or if your parents presured you so much that fall in love anyone and be married. Actual i have not presure like that from my parents. And i have not any plan to leaving single whole life. Actual i love a girl and my parents accept her. So there have not any problem.
@gypsygoth (244)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
my take on this is that do whatever you feel you are the most "happiest". Being pressured to get married, only to find later in your life that you are not even happy with whom you decide to settle down is the worst thing that could ever happen. It is your life, you have the final say. Although your family may be concerned, you should discuss your plans with them sincerely so they will understand what you want to do with your life.
• United States
27 Feb 12
I was not pressured into getting married by my family to get married at all. They did not pressure me at all to do anything I have done. I was the oldest son and I was the last to leave home. I decided to leave home after my youngest brother went off to college. I thought it was about time that I left too. I stayed close to home but finally moved out.
@sayo13 (414)
• India
27 Feb 12
well i think its really a tension for the family members and especially for the parents who wanted their children to settle down with the right person and stay happy in life. Its a common thing in most of ours life but the worst part is that they might fail to understand the need and at times the ambitions of their children in life.Most of the parents are worried that if their daughter or son does not get married may be in later life they might face problem in getting married or to settle down in life. Most of the time Daughters have to face this kind of pressure from their family, we should make sure that their sentiments are not hurt and at the same time you should make an initiative to discuss your future plans and what you want to do with your life with your parents and family members. I was able to make my parents understand my future plans and thanks to god that they understand me and support me in my career. All The Best.