Shopping for nothing...
February 27, 2012 4:59am CST
Me and my sister, quite inseparable. It breaks my heart whenever I have to say no to her, and although she would never be caught alive admitting it, I know she feels the same too. So if she asks me to go to the mall, I drop whatever it is I'm doing and we go to the mall. There's one thing that concerns me about this though. It will take hours going around, and the day will end with us empty-handed. I remember one time, she said she plans to buy a pair of shoes. We would go around the mall, into the shoe shops, and she'll ask me if the shoes suit her or not. At first, I'll give her feedback, agree and disagree here and there, but then as we move from shop to shop, she'll try on every pair she could get her hands on, and I just grow weary affirming and contradicting whether the shoes suit her or not. When I get tired, I basically just say yes to anything she asks. Is it nice?-- yes. Does it suit me yes?-- yes. What color should I get?-- yes. And despite the repetitive questions, we still come out of the store with nothing but ourselves. When we reached the last store which we haven't checked yet, upon finishing trying on shoes, she'd say, "I can't find anything to my liking. Maybe I'll just get a pair of jeans instead." She asks, I bicker and complain, we still go to every store so she could try it on. In the end, still nothing. We usually end the day doing our groceries, and that takes us about an hour or two. We'll load a trolley with groceries, but then before we line up to the cash registers, she'll start removing things from the trolley until it's just almost half, if not almost empty. The thing is, whenever she asks me out, I knew these would happen. I knew how the day would end. I knew we'd be just wasting time. And this is the same with her. She knew I would be irritated. She knew I would bicker. She knew I'd be frustrated. But at the onset, I am always willing to go, and she won't ever hesitate to ask. I think what this tells me is that we sort of just wanted to be out together, and we're just basically using "shopping" as an excuse to go out. She would enjoy my complaints while she's shopping around, and I would enjoy how she hops from one store to another. At the end of the day, we will talk about our escapade and laugh at loud at our own craziness. We were using something as an excuse just to enjoy each other's company.
27 Feb 12
Enjoying each other's company is great, but you have to make sure that you are doing something that you both enjoy otherwise one of you is going to feel resentful of the other. I don't like going shopping with people when I don't have anything that I want to buy, as I hate the fact that other people all around me are buying lovely things and I can never seem to find anything as nice for myself that I would like to buy. I would never go shopping just to spend time with someone, but I would suggest to them that we should meet up afterwards instead for a chat at one of our houses.
27 Feb 12
Of course there are a lot of other things we agree with and enjoy doing together. I just wanted to emphasize how bizarre we send the message across to each other. I think I came out a bit more negative in my post but I enjoy her company as well. I don't feel outrageously annoyed, you know, just a little bit irritated, but to be honest, really it was nothing. If it is something I can't handle then I do say no. But so far we both have been reasonable about asking each other and none of us have ever asked the other something beyond reason.
28 Feb 12
Hello almightybong, I enjoyed reading your post. I always get happy seeing others having good relationships with their siblings. I admire your relationship with your sister. Reminds me of my own relationship with my twin. We are also inseparable. Although the two of you may have your own differences: you bicker, she does things that irritate you, and you complain, yet you end the day enjoying each others' company. Hope your relationship with your sister continue to grow. Enjoy more shoppings in the future together! Have fun!
28 Feb 12
This is why most women go shopping with their girl friends... Many of us like to spend time just looking around and ending up not buying anything. Can't you go out somewhere else with your sister? You probably won't be able to change her habits, as she enjoys shopping this way. You should not stress about it, but it's understandable why you feel this kind of shopping is a waste of time.
• United States
27 Feb 12
It's hard to say no especially if you are use to going to the mall with someone who does not know what they want. but it is good sometime to jsut get out of the house and take a nice ride. somethimes I go to the mall knowing that I don't need to be spending extra money.
27 Feb 12
I think it's normal that you can't buy everything. It's also normal to say NO if you can't afford it or don't need it. This is all part of the life but also it makes you realize/think if you really need it or worth the money. In my country it's completely normal to go shopping and buy nothing. Still you have fun. You can compare quality, prices and later think over if it's worth buying. So it's less waste of money, impulsive shopping and feeling terrible because it's not really what you wanted (shopkeepers are great in selling you stuff you don't need and seeing everything makes greedy too). I think your sister is not really waiting for you to tell her if it fits her or the colour is fine, shopping is to many just fun, the only thing she needs is someone to tell her she looks great so she feels better. To many, all over the world, shopping is what they do if they feel terrible, not to buy anything they need. Personally I don't like shopping at all, nor does one of my daughters, we only get over there if we know what we need/want, if it's not there we leave. My other daughter loves shopping and it's never ending. So if possible I don't go over with her otherwise I end up sitting on a chair of bench waiting for hours, what a waste of time is to me.
27 Feb 12
My daughter is also like that she would go from one store to another the only difference is that she would finally buy when we run out of time, when the mall announces the mall had to close in 30 minutes. So it would always be buying at the last minute. Good however the ending she would treat me to a fast food as for sure we got hungry roaming around.
10 Mar 12
I sound like your sister. I don't simply go and buy a dress before I really make my mind. I can hop from shop to shop and sometimes even to another mall. The thing is I don't get satisfied easily. In the meantime, I love the company that I am with at that time which usually my best friend. It work out as she's the same as me so we have no problem to waste time at the mall. Shopping is a way to bond with her, apart from hanging out or eat together.
27 Feb 12
that sounds like me! i can never make up my mind when i am shopping. one time i was looking for a necklace to wear with a certain dress for a wedding and i went to a ton of stores and ended up going back to the first one and buying one of the first ones i saw! Fortunately, i have a very patient hubby!