Every night my daughter wants to read

United States
February 27, 2012 6:02am CST
together with me. I love reading with her. There are some nights, however, when I have a migraine or, with her dad being so very ill, I'm just exhausted and don't feel up to it. This brings on a boatload of guilt at not having those few minutes available for her. Do you read to your children? Are you ever wracked with guilt if something prevents it - especially if they are totally understanding as Jaimie is? Do you try to do something extra to make up for it?
3 people like this
14 responses
• India
28 Feb 12
I never had my parents read out to me. It was my grandmother who did that. Though I used to sit and study and my father used to read out history to me. Thats how I passed my history exams my whole school life. You really don't have to feel guilty about that! Jamie is an understanding beatle! And parents really don't need to make up for anything to their children! Just a few moments of love.....and its all done! Give love to Jamie :)
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 12
Thank you, revtee4ever, for reading this post and commenting. Your grandmother and father were wonderful people. My mom didn't read to me, but she used to tell wonderful stories about when she was a young girl and my dad told huge tall tales that kept us laughing. Jaimie appreciates the love you give. Hugs, Maggie
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• India
4 Mar 12
I am sure those memories are wonderful and they are few such memories that bring smile on our faces!!!!
@dodo19 (33051)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Mar 12
It's certainly a good way to bond with your child. I think that you should encourage them to do so. I can understand that it's not always possible, especially when you and your husband aren't feel well. But I think that it's a good thing to do, whenever possible. It's something that I want to start doing with my three-month-old daughter.
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• United States
6 Mar 12
I've heard of people reading to their children before the child is born because they believe the child can hear their voices even in the womb. I think that's a lovely thing to do. Start soon reading to your baby; she will love hearing the tempo of your voice whether she understands the actual words or not. Hugs, Maggie
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@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
28 Feb 12
To save yourself the guilt trip, how about the next night you read to her a couple of extra minutes? I did that with my daughter when I was overly tired or not feeling good. She was very understanding and was thrilled that I would make it up to her by reading a few extra minutes for the next couple of nights. Are your migraines chronic? Do you get them often? I know that you are under a LOT of stress and that triggers the migraines. I suffer from chronic migraines and they would last for days. I was reading Woman's World and there was an article about controlling migraines. It recommended taking vitamin B2. I thought it was crazy, but since it wasn't expensive I decided to try it. I was amazed!!! I have been taking B2 for two years now and the severity and frequency of the migraines has decreased by 90%! I used to get between 6 and 15 migraines a month without the B2, now it can be several months before I get another migraine. I used to have to take prescription medication to relieve the migraine, and I haven't had to touch the pills in nearly a year and a half! The B2 in my area is about $3.50 for a bottle of 100 tablets, which in comparison to the cost of the migraine medication being $70 per tablet and the B2 was only 35 cents per tablet. Also, the guilt at not being able to read with her adds to the migraine pain. So, the B2 would help ease the negativity from the stress and help control the migraines. It's worth a try. Hug Jamie for me, it is so wonderful to have an understanding child in your house.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Feb 12
I used to be able to count on a headache by ten o'clock almost every day. They have gotten better since menapause, but the tension recently has definitely increased them some. I'm not only going to try the B2, but I'm also going to recommend it to my nephew who gets them way too often. Thank you, Loverbear, for a most needed tip. Jaimie will appreciate your extra hug. Hugs, Maggie
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@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Oh yes, I missed this moment. My kids are now young teens and I missed it when they ask me to read stories before going to bed. I remember my daughter who really loves to read, she cannot sleep without me reading a story before bedtime. And when she started reading- she's the one who reads to her younger brothers.
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• United States
27 Feb 12
Then you have passed along something truly beautiful to your children, especially your daughter. Well done. :) Hugs, Maggie
@jenn88 (57)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
im not a mom yet so the feeling of guilt is stil questinable to me., but i read with my mom every single night, thats the only thing we have in common,. i love reading with her and discuss it with her, and when she can't read with me,. its actually ok., coz, when you are a parent, you work the extra mile just to have everything work out fine. and us being your children would clearly understnd it. coz we love you., so, dont stress it,. just be the mom who she knows you to be... :D
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 12
jenn88, I think if you didn't already have a mom, I would ask to adopt you! Thank you so much for putting the child's point of view into the discussion. It says a lot about you and your mom and you sound like pretty awesome people. Hugs. Maggie
• United States
27 Feb 12
I don't have children yet. However, I plan to read to them when I do finally have them. It's understandable that you can't always read to your daughter. You shouldn't feel guilty about it. What you could do is listen to books on CD on those evenings when you just can't handle reading to her. You could still spend the time together, but you wouldn't have that strain on your eyes.
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• United States
27 Feb 12
Thank you, wilsongoddard, for an excellent idea! Although I listen to audio books myself, it never occurred to me to bring them in as a standin for the nights I'm not up to par. Hugs, Maggie
@succeednow (1636)
• Singapore
27 Feb 12
Hi mysticmaggie, You are very fortunate that you have a daughter who enjoys reading. I believe that forming a good reading habit right from a young age is a wonderful gift for a child. It would be a tremendous asset to her later in life. My wife read to our children almost every night. They really enjoyed it so much. If you missed one or two nights there's no need to feel guilty. I'm sure the child will understand. Have a nice day.
• United States
27 Feb 12
Thank you, Succeednow, for commenting. My daughter has Down's syndrome and is thirty-three years old. Even after all these years, I still feel guilty on nights we don't read. I'm beginning to think it's a mom thing. lol. Hugs, Maggie
@maximax8 (28490)
• United Kingdom
27 Feb 12
My disabled son has a reading folder and his own reading scheme book available to read every day. I get both of my young children ready for bed and then take my daughter off to bed. I sit my disabled son on the the sofa and gets him to read the reading scheme book to me. The one the moment is called Fancy Dress. I feel guilty if I am not able to read with my son. I like to read picture books to my disabled son and my daughter. I am a primary school teacher so books and reading are very important to me. Good luck with your migraines and I hope your husband gets better soon. It is lovely your daughter loves books and reading.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 12
Thank you, maximax8. Your children are fortunate to have you as a mom and teacher because you are unwilling to leave teaching at the school. Jaimie does love reading and working on her computer. She also enjoys cutting out coupons and manages to cut a few for friends, such as diaper coupons for a new mom, or dog food coupons for brother and a neighbor. She's very thoughtful that way. Hugs, Maggie
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@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Reading is also one of those bonding moments my son and I share, and it also makes me feel so bad if for some reason I cannot read with him. My son also understands but I could see some disappointment in his eyes. And yes, I do try to make up for this by doing some other things the next day. Usually I buy him something, nothing fancy, just a token piece like say some fries from the drive-through or a piece of brownie.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 12
I know what you mean. The next day, I work extra hard to make up for the lapse of the evening before. Those moments of bonding are so precious. Even losing one evening is something we can never get back. Hugs, Maggie
@GemmaR (8526)
27 Feb 12
I think that you should encourage reading as much as possible, because it is something that will really help your child progress in their education and will give them a good head start at school which is very important particularly when they're young. When things happen which means that we cannot read to our child then we shouldn't worry, but explain to your child that you will read to them tomorrow. Or, you could ask them to look at the pictures in the book and ask them to tell you the story that you think happens. This might help for you to do this because it will improve their imagination and would also mean that you didn't have to read to them that night, which would give you a bit of a break.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 12
Thank you, GemmaR, for wonderful suggestions. Usually, Jaimie, is more than willing to give me a break until the next evening. It is I who wrestle with the guilt. She is very good at entertaining herself most of the time. I think I have such a hard time because she works so hard to help me with her dad who is bedridden. I feel she gives so much that I should be able to give her that little while each evening. Sometimes, migraines and exhaustion keep me from doing so. Hugs, Maggie
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@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
27 Feb 12
I seldom read to my children. I did as they were very little, in the morning and before bedtime, but also told them there are times I like to read. The youngest two are 8 and 6 years old. They have to read (order of school) daily for some time. They both are very fast readers so now the tables are turned. They read for eachother or me. I love stories and always loved to have my own storyteller, looks like these are there now :-D
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 12
What a beautiful story! To have your children reading to you is such a blessing. My 'little girl' is a 33 year old woman with Down's syndrome. We read alternately from books she gets from church and the library. I do love the time with her, but with her dad so ill, it is wearying to keep up with everything. Yet, I feel that is no excuse and though she says 'tomorrow?' and I agree, the guilt still rises at missing even one night. Hugs, Maggie
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
That's a great bonding moment with your child. My son wants to read, but we end up fighting because he wants to play. I'm currently looking for a book that will widen my son's interest when it comes to learning.
• United States
27 Feb 12
Keep trying, no matter what. Time spent reading or even playing together is time well spent. Don't force your son to sit still for reading. Why not join him in a game or playing with his cars, or whatever it takes to have one on one time. Good luck. Hugs, Maggie
@fantabulus (4005)
• India
27 Feb 12
My daughter also wants to read every night. But I not love read with her. Because my daughter is in Poly Ist year. I have no experience of reading.
• United States
27 Feb 12
Reading with our children is not just the reading; it's the love that we show by spending special time which cannot be interferred with by anyone. It doesn't even have to be reading. It can be cooking together; even cleaning the house together. Or, doing crafts together, or anything you enjoy together. It's the time - not the activity - that counts. Hugs, Maggie
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@shaggin (37115)
• United States
13 May 12
I love reading with my kids as well. My son liked me to read to him but my daughter is obsessed with reading. Her birthday is coming up on the 21st and what she wants is video games and books. I love reading to my kids as well. Usually before bed is set aside time to read to them.