All she wants for her birthday is money...

@maezee (32260)
United States
February 27, 2012 5:59pm CST
This is my same friend who just got out of treatment, got fired from her job, and is desperately broke. It was her birthday yesterday and she made it clear that literally ALL she wanted was money. Now I'm normally pretty loyal about giving friends' gifts on their birthdays, but I might have to skip this girl. For some reason it doesn't sit well with me that all she wants is money. Not necessarily because it means I think she's going to spend it on relapsing into drugs, but because I find that some how to be selfish. Especially when she knows I'm going through financial difficulty myself, as well as her parents and probably most of her friends.... Like I said, I didn't like that she said this and is acting this way. Am I wrong in this? Have you ever had a friend or family member say that all they want for their birthday is MONEY?
5 people like this
15 responses
• India
29 Feb 12
No you are not wrong, many people while asking for money as loan even never think about the position of the person, if you don't give you become enemy, i have many such experiences, they stopped talking to me. Best of luck. Professor
@zenaii (13)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
If you really give gifts on any birthday, and if you want to give her a gift but she wanted money.. try to ask her needs.. like you can treat her with the things she need.. Explain to her you wont give her money but buy her something.. of course make her understand your budget for the treat..
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
Maybe give her some help.Any amount would do.'m sure she'll appreciate it.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I don't know the whole situation here, but it sounds to me that money would be a welcome gift. Even if it's just the amount you would have to spend to cook her something or make her something. I sounds like she may be down to her last dime?
• United States
28 Feb 12
I only make requests if someone asks me what I want for my birthday. If someone asks "hey what do you want for your birthday?" Ill reply money or a gift card. If they dont ask I do not make requests.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Every people reacts differently so I think yours is normal. And yes I've encountered this many time with family and friends, and I just at them. I give them money sometimes, because I know in the end they are going to spend it with us LOL LOL
• United States
28 Feb 12
How did it come up? Were you already on the subject of her birthday and she just causally mentioned that all she really wanted was money, or did she just start in on how she wanted money and nothing else? I understand going through financial difficulty and how hearing this could really not sit well, but I'm just curious as to how the topic even came up. Now, if she just mentioned it, because you were already talking about it, maybe you could cut her a little slack. As you've stated she's just out of rehab, has no job, and broke, I would probably get her a gift card for something I knew she would need, like to a grocery store. If she just started talking about it, then maybe, if you still wanted to do something for her, you could just make her a decent meal? Or even bake her her favorite treat if you're in the position to do so. Once, when I had a really hard time financially I managed to save up enough to do a really decent grocery shopping trip and got a few inexpensive but nice ingredients and made my best friend dinner for her birthday since I couldn't afford to do much else. She understood my position and was grateful for the meal. If you are really unhappy with the way she came off, then maybe you could talk to her, just let her know how it came off, and while your sorry for her troubles, you can't do that for her birthday.
@cher913 (25891)
• Canada
28 Feb 12
if she is a close friend, you should be a little more compashionate. maybe she needs the money to pay bills? if you dont want to give her money, maybe giver her a food basket or stuff she can use.
@Metatronik (5911)
• Pasay, Philippines
28 Feb 12
First of all why she was been fired from her job? It depends on how she demand it because if she told you in nice manner or even justified that what she wants is money then I think there is nothing wrong even you can just give her a piece or small amount. But then if she intends to demand for a big amount of money then I don't think that is right. If you are lack of finances then it is not really wrong if you don't want to give money. Because in the first place your friend must understand that you are having responsibility as well.
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
Hi maezee, you are not wrong in this. Saying that meant that she wouldn't accept your gift if it's not money. I would feel the same way had I had the same experience with you. She shouldn't say such thing even if she's desperate. Having financial difficulties yourself, you must be planning of a thoughtful gift for her, yet, because of this demand, you've already felt your gift rejected. To me, I would always appreciate my friends' gifts whether I need those things or not. Gifts were tokens of friendships and should always be received with gratitude. Demanding what your friends should give you is simply rude and silly.
• Australia
28 Feb 12
Hi and a happy day to all! I haven't encountered friends like that. Usually my friends are more than happy to accept happy birthday greetings from anyone, gifts are valuable small or not. I dont give lots of gifts to my friends, i am more on giving gifts to their children when they already have families. I greet them and say hello to them, talk for a while, eat, laugh. Quality time is my gift and listening to them is already a gift. I just think of gifts during christmas day. When my friends are far away, i sent them a card. usually funny cards that will send them laughing or smile. i love making my friends smile and im thankful they are not demanding what should be the give during christmas or instead of cards, just make it money. No they are not like that. Enjoy your day!
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
I don't know. It kinda feels weird giving money for somebody's birthday. I would do that for family members, but for a friend, it's just too weird. Or, maybe you could find a chinese shop and buy these red envelopes and then give her the money as she wishes (although I think those red envelopes are given on new year, I'm not sure if they do that on birthdays).
• United States
28 Feb 12
I know people who are the same as this. It means nothing more to me than please don'r waste your money buying me what I don't want. So,with love I give them cash and it is spent on what they want. I would rather give someone $20 in a card then to spend it on something and they don't use it or for that matter turn right around and trash it. I have never told anyone all I wanted was cash but,I sure did think it, and one thing that made me so happy this past Christmas was I got a $75 walmart card that I used to buy food with. That was my best gift other than my car.. Give her $5 in a card and wish her well. that is not a big deal anything adds up.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
She emphasized that she wants money as perhaps she really don't have a single cent. When she received money as gift she would know what she needed and buy it, although it's really irritating to hear that all she wants is money. You can however give her a gift you want, she can't do anything but of course to receive it. If she don't want it, then sorry for her.
• United States
28 Feb 12
Hey!, I understand where you're coming from and it makes sense that from your standpoint, it does seem a bit selfish to ask for money without really thinking about others around them, however, whenever my birthday comes, I usually don't ask for gifts, since I'm grateful of people acknowledging my birthday, but if it all comes down, I would rather have money than gifts because it's really awkward to receive a gift that you don't want. I guess its the thought that counts, lol. If you have money to spare, then you can tend to her birthday wish, but if not, then at least you had the thought of giving. :)