Is it the doctor's job to scold?

@maezee (32558)
United States
February 27, 2012 6:05pm CST
My sister called me the other day all upset because she went to the doctor and they pretty much yelled at her after saying she had pre-hypertension high blood pressure. I can't remember what she said the doctor said to her, but it upset her enough to call me (this is a rare occurance) and rant to me about it. And I Guess they made some kind of comment like, And you need to lose some weight, but I'm guessing you KNOW that all snottily I guess. This made me pretty mad at those doctors. I suggested that she file a complaint if possible. I feel like there's a nice way to say things and a pretentious just-because-you're-a-doctor-doesn't-make-you-better-than-everyone-else and have the right to be rude sort of way. Do you agree? I honestly don't think it's the doctor's job to scold and make someone feel ashamed of themselves. I think HONEY works better than vinegar, don't you agree? In all areas of life! Even though she probably should lose weight and work on the blood pressure thing (as should I, I'm sure, haven't been to the doctors in years... lol..yikes..), I just don't think a lot of doctors handle people very well. Maybe in order to be a doctor you should have people skills. Anyway, I don't agree with some doctors' approaches to speaking with their patients about health concerns. I know that it's unhealthy to be overweight and/or have higher than normal blood pressure, but I don't think it's in their place to scold. I know I would be pissed if someone was lecturing me in a sneering-kind of way. I think that would probably just motivate me to switch doctors more than anything else. What about you? Have you ever had a doctor SCOLD you for your health problems?
12 responses
@soulist (2987)
• United States
3 Mar 12
I agree doctors shouldn't scold, but sometimes they might need to. I know my doctor sometimes scolds me. he doesn't yell or anything but does show he is disappointed when I don't exercise as I should or get my flu shot as I should. It helps me know I am not doing what I should be to keep myself as healthy as I should be.
• United States
28 Feb 12
If the doctor has been telling her about the problem for a while, he could be getting frustrated with having to repeat themselves all the time. If this is the first time she's seen this particular doctor, or then that is another matter entirely. He should have kept his composure sure, but it's frustrating to repeat the same thing repeatedly, and have someone not listen, especially when it comes to their health. I once was very ill and my regular doctor was out, so I saw another one of the associates. The associate doctor was condescending from the get go and told me that my pneumonia was in my head, and I was wasting time other patients needed, and that I must be a hypochondriac. I told that doctor to stick it where the sun don't shine and if they thought for one second they were getting one cent for bad advice, they were sorely mistaken. My regular doctor was back the next day, so I returned, and she so furious that she fired the other doctor from her practice, and I followed with a complaint against him. If your sister really thinks she was treated unfairly and badly, she should file a complaint.
• Ireland
28 Feb 12
I don't think that it is a doctor's place to scold someone over a health issue, unless it has gotten to a point where that doctor has already repeatedly told the patient the same thing. Perhaps it wasn't the best approach to take, but if he has told your sister several times already to lose weight and she keeps coming back with problems related to her diet such as the high blood pressure, perhaps he's getting frustrated?
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
28 Feb 12
to a certain extent. it sounds like he needs to havebetter bed side manners. i find that some doctors think they know it all!
@yanzalong (10202)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 12
Never in my life have I met such an impolite doctor. All doctors in our country are soft spoken, you see. I were her, I'd give him the same told off, you see.
@smacksman (6074)
28 Feb 12
It's hard to imagine now but many years back, my doctor would be puffing away on his ciggarette and tell me between puffs that it would be better for my health to give up smoking! haha So doctors are as human as we are and subject to the same 'bad hair days' as the best of us. No excuse for bad manners or a bad 'bedside manner' but 'sh*t happens' as they say. Maybe a blast from your sister to the doctor would have been in order this time but it is so easy to think of what one should have said after the event.
@almond24 (1250)
• Hungary
28 Feb 12
I'm sorry to hear your sister had this bad experience. I had this too, doctors yelling at me, and not only once. And no, I'm NOT someone who doesn't care about her health or goes to doctor too late when it's almost late to get help. I understand that doctors are stressed and have a lot of patients and problems to deal with. They are good at their field I have no doubt about it, but since they face patients every day, I have no idea why they were not taught how to handle people. If we don't care about our health, that's our responsibility. If we accept a treatment, that's our responsibility as well, even if the medicine we got doesn't work. So I guess we have the right not to be made ashamed.
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 Feb 12
Yes, maezee. I have also encountered some notorious indecent doctors. once i had cold cough and i went to meet a doctor and suddenly i coughed without covering my mouth and i said sorry. I know it was my fault but it happened unconsciously but he scolded with some worst verses which made me mad at him and i growled. I told him that if you have not the tolerance to handle a sick person having some diseases, then you better to throw your profession along with your certificate. I left the room then. have a nice time.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
I think that I could take being scolded by a doctor but I wouldn't stand being insulted. It's one thing to make you realized your fault but it's another when you know that it's being thrown to your face. I haven't seen a doctor for medical reasons in years so I don't really know if it has become a fad among them, this scolding thing, but my last visit was okay. I think there will always be those few in every walks of life that wants to just chew on you and be the a$$#0le of the group.
• United States
28 Feb 12
If the doctor has repeatedly addressed the issue of your sister's weight with her in the past, (s)he may be getting tired of feeling like her/his words are falling on deaf ears. The fact is, doctors see many patients who are basically killing themselves with their diets and lack of exercise. While doctors should try to address patients' health issues in an understanding manner, they are human. They have off days, and they can get a bit burnt out on dealing with all of the problems associated with this nation's obesity epidemic. If your sister has found the doctor to be generally helpful in the past, she should remain with her or him. However, if the doctor is always abrasive and offers only criticism instead of solid advice on what she needs to be doing to address her health issues, she should consider finding another doctor.
@magester1 (148)
• Argentina
28 Feb 12
Doctor's should not judge you at all. My sister once went to the doctor because she had some throat problems. That week just happened to be one when a lot of out of town students came into the city and you know how they are partying and drinking and shouting all day and night. This guy just assumed my sister was one of them and didn't treat her too good (I just don't want to say he behaved like an a**).
• United States
28 Feb 12
Hey! I agree with you that it's not the doctor's job to SCOLD people, they can advise them in a professional or friendly matter about what action to take if they have a certain condition, but in all my life, I have NEVER been scolded by any person from the medical field where I go on a regular basis. I feel like for the person to scold them, its either that the person care for them and just couldn't believe that it happened to them, much like when parents scold children about doing something wrong... but even so, like you said, there is a nice way to say things.