Bad Mother?

Ireland
February 28, 2012 6:58am CST
I think so! Just had a friend tell me the following story while I was over for a cuppa and a chat. She was in bed last night watching a DVD when she heard screaming and crying from outside. She looked out in a panic from the upstairs window to see what was going on, recognised the sound as being her friend's THREE YEAR OLD child and thundered downstairs and out the door, shouting at her man 'ring X (the mother of the child)' before figuring out the crying was coming from her friend's back garden. She hopped onto the pier and over the high fence into the garden where the little boy was standing crying out for his mother in his jammies. She scooped the child up and brought him back inside the back door and sat on the couch cuddling him and trying to stop him crying. Over HALF AN HOUR later, the child's mother arrived back at the house and brushed the whole incident off as if it was nothing?! She had popped up to a friend's house, about 200 meters up and around the corner from her own and simply left the 3 year old asleep in his bed with the front door locked. Crazy or what? Apparently half an hour later she text my friend apologising and saying she'd never leave the house again - apparently she does this on a regular basis though, puts the child to bed, then leaves for a while visiting friends, having a coffee. She's a completely irresponsible mother. It maddens me to see these things. I think of how badly I want a child but know that I am not prepared for one just yet, financially and housing wise, so I wait. Children are the most precious things on earth and deserve the very best. I could never leave a child alone in the house, not even for a minute. What do you guys think?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• Ireland
29 Feb 12
Hi TheIrishClog, I read this and could not not respond. I am completely aware that you're not condoning this woman's actions and understand your not wanting to get involved but the way I see it, you are already involved, as in you know this has happened and who's to say it won't happen again. I absolutely think that as a society we all have a duty to protect children; yes, even those not our own. I really feel that this is an accident waiting to happen and while I wouldn't wish the child come to any harm or that the mother has the child taken away from her, she is acting terrible irresponsibly. Yes, it's natural to get stressed and want a bit of time to yourself. It may seem completely innocent, child asleep, never wakes up etc. etc. BUT, as a parent, there is a line that you do not cross. Apart from the legality of it, it's completely irresponsible and selfish. I am not telling you what to do but I do know if it were me that I would have to act in the safety of the child. It's not as if this mother hasn't done it before so who's to say she'll not do it again. IrishGal77 :)
• Ireland
29 Feb 12
Yep the Gardai or Social Workers would be the body to report to. I really hope that it doesn't come to that though. IrishGal77 :)
2 people like this
• Ireland
29 Feb 12
I hope so too IrishGal. I would hate to see a mother and child have to go through the trauma of 'the system', but unfortunately, if things don't change with her, that's how it will end up because I couldn't sleep in the knowledge that I allowed that behaviour to continue.
1 person likes this
• Ireland
29 Feb 12
Hey IrishGal, I've actually had a chat since with the friend and she's going to be keeping a close eye on the situation. We hope she's learned from it and she has sworn that she'll never be so stupid again, but should she find that she's gone out again without the child, she is going to report the matter, if she doesn't, I will. I have no idea who to report it to, other than the Gardai, but I'm sure they'll take it from there.
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@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Feb 12
That's terrible. Children that young should not be left alone under any circumstances. It is very irresponsible. There are so many dangers in the world that I wouldn't want to invite not one more. That is definitely inviting it.
2 people like this
• Ireland
1 Mar 12
It really is begging for trouble. Here's hoping it never happens again. I'm still disgusted and highly annoyed over this. Mind you, if I were to ring the Gardai (police) here, I'm not so sure that they'd respond. Had to phone them today about trouble in the playground and 20 minutes later as I was leaving work, still no sign.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Some parents think, that nothing is going to happen, they will only be gone a couple of minutes, or the child will sleep all night long. It's unfortunate that this child woke up to find Mommy missing, but thankfully a close neighbor was there to hear and help the child. I feel the mother made a bad choice and has learned from it.
2 people like this
• Ireland
28 Feb 12
I really do hope that she has learned Jae, it could have been so much worse and she's lucky this time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
in the situation you described definitely the mother's got no excuse for leaving the house for no emergency reason. once in my childhood i was left alone in the house but that was when i was 6 and my parents made sure that i know and follow all the rules like don't play with anything else other than my toys and never talk to strangers knocking on our door. 3years old is very young, as a matter of fact a high risk of getting involved with accidents. maybe the neighbor should report that mother of child negligence before it's too late.
2 people like this
@ecaron (678)
• Canada
28 Feb 12
Years ago, when I was a teen, I visited some relatives in Germany. I was with my parents but one night they let me go to my cousin's place. She wanted to take me out for the evening but I was shocked when she put her two year old to bed then just locked the apartment door and we left. I asked her if she had a babysitter coming and she just replied that the neighbour will check on him. She didn't talk to her neighbour when I was there, so I doubted her. I asked my mom later and she said that people in Germany do that sometimes. I said it wasn't right and that I know they don't all that in Canada. Mom said no, they don't so it's a good thing we there, isn't it, where kids are protected more.
• Ireland
28 Feb 12
Really? Wow. That is extreme. I know some children sleep all the way through the night, but what if there's a robbery, or a fire? Or if the child does wake up?
1 person likes this
• India
29 Feb 12
You are right. But the street boys are a lot of immunity power.
@magester1 (148)
• Argentina
29 Feb 12
I think you've said it clearly enough, she's an irresponsible mother. If that keeps happening in the future then the kid should be taken away from her, I know that sounds a little harsh and he might end up worse, but how can you let someone "take care" of her children in that manner?
2 people like this
• Ireland
29 Feb 12
You're right magester. The behaviour needs to stop and I sincerely hope for her and the child's sake that she grows up and starts behaving like a mother.
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@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
29 Feb 12
I think this woman (can't use Mother) has her head screwed on backwards...upside down and sideways! NEVER, ever would the thought even cross my mind..to leave a baby (to me, 3 is still a baby) unattended. To me, this is NOT a bad Mother..this is not a Mother. EVERY one of your maternal instincts would scream out..DO NOT do this! My mind is filled with a kazillion scenarios where this could go awry! The trauma this little tyke experienced more than likely will have scarred him/her for life---seperation anxiety, to name one! Bear with...I am angered. NOT much, I interfere in other's lives about...but this would "rattle my chain's" enough, that I would let them know this practice is totally unacceptable and would be keeping a close watch...as here, in Canada, it is an offense (legally)! I have been blessed, in this world, with one son (like Oshy)and for the life of me, there is nothing --- nothing that could lure me, to leave him alone! (MUST do so now..as he is 31..LOL)! YOU will know when the time is right..and you will be blessed! Cheers!
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Feb 12
Wonderful points! It's illegal here too and I can't for the life of me, having raised children of my own, even begin to understand at what level of conscious that one could leave a tiny child alone..much less the mother. There are too many dangers in the world to invite more and that is exactly what that woman is doing to her child.
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• Ireland
29 Feb 12
I've hit best response for you on this one pergammano. As with you, when I was told this story all I could picture were the million different things that could possibly have gone wrong.
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• Canada
1 Mar 12
What a lovely surprise..TheIrishClog, the best response, for which I am truly grateful! Maybe I should stay stoked, more often..and make more sense! I went off to work, in a frenzy over this yesterday..good thing I basically work alone.....heads mighta rolled! Even today, I cannot conceptualize this! Once again, thank you! @Jen..little one, I was not amazed to see your response here...YOU and I are definitely Mother Tigers, and that's why this so offends our senses! Between this discussion, and my rant on Polar Bears...I had a bit of an "off the wall" day!
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